Chapter 122: Celestara's Grace (Patreon)

“Finally, you’re awake. Do you have any idea how heavy your soul is?”

Melia sat up with a jolt. Her first instinct was to immediately reach for her chest, clawing at the spot of her wound. When she didn’t encounter the expected protrusion of her dagger’s hilt or, indeed, a wound of any type, she froze. She stared at her hands in disbelief. They weren’t covered in blood; in fact, her entire body and her clothes were pristine.

Her second instinct was to check for Brandy. She began frantically looking around, whipping her head left and right, but something seemed off. Instead of the dark and dreary courtyard in the demon palace, she was somewhere…remarkably bright. Like everything was whitewashed, with a bloom filter set to 11. Even the ground seemed to radiate light, and staring at it made Melia’s eyes water.

“What are you looking for?” An exasperated woman’s voice asked. “It’s me. I’m over here.”

Melia’s brain finally caught up with her and she realized she wasn’t alone. The voice was real, not a dream or a figment of her imagination. It was also connected to a woman who looked strangely familiar to Melia, but for the moment, only one girl was on her mind.

“Where’s Brandy?” Melia demanded. “Is she safe?!”

“Relax,” the woman tried to reassure Melia, but her voice was laced with exhaustion to the point where Melia considered advising her to take a nap. “Your friend is fine. It’s you I’m more worried about.”

“Me?” Melia asked. “Wait, shouldn’t I be dead?”

“That depends on your definition of dead,” the woman said wryly. “Can you finish waking up now? I’m getting tired holding your soul in place.”

“Soul?” Melia asked, finally thinking back to the first words she heard upon waking up in this strange place. “Wait, heavy? What do you mean?”

“Look, I’m being serious here,” the woman complained. “I can’t hold you forever. If you want to carry on this little chat, you need to start pulling your weight.”

Melia didn’t know what the woman meant, but now that she thought about it, her body did feel sleepy. Like that point in the morning after the alarm goes off, when you know you should get up but your mind is sluggish and starts begging for 5 more minutes. Melia could roll over; it was really tempting, but she had a hunch, based on context clues, that if she did, she wouldn’t like the result.

After all, this was the closest thing to the afterlife that she’d ever experienced, and she didn’t know the next time she’d be able to get some actual answers to a few very specific questions…if there’d even be a next time.

As for the woman in front of Melia, it could really only be a single person.

“You’re Celestara,” Melia said, shaking out the pins and needles in her numb, prickling limbs. As soon as she did so, the goddess let out a massive (and very un-deitylike) sigh of relief.

“Oh, it’s about time!” Celestara said, slumping over. Melia briefly wondered whether gods or goddesses used “thank god” as an expression, or if they said something closer to “thank me.” She supposed Celestara wasn’t really in the mood for levity, though, so Melia kept her musings to herself. As for the goddess…she looked distinctly worse for wear.

Melia was very familiar with Celestara, Goddess of Light. Player resurrection was her domain, and Melia died many, many deaths…in the name of science, obviously. And the woman sitting on a strikingly plain chair was a far cry from the image of radiant beauty and splendor that Melia knew from the game, a hollow husk of her once great form.

Celestara looked exactly as exhausted as she sounded, and not an ounce less. Her crisp blue eyes had massive purple bags under them, and her usually glorious blonde hair wasn't up to its fluffy, voluminous standard. It was flat, plastered to her head and drenched in sweat, covering half her face. The normally full-figured goddess was dangerously underweight and the ill-fitting, loose white toga wrapped around her body threatened to slip off her shoulder.

Again, Melia wasn’t sure where gods stood on puns, so she refrained from saying, “You look like hell.”

Celestara let Melia stare at her, taking the opportunity to try and clean herself up as best she could. But she could only work with the tools she was given, which currently wasn’t saying much, and eventually she settled for a slightly embarrassed smile.

“This isn’t the way I wanted our first meeting to go,” Celestara said sheepishly. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time.”

“You have?” Melia asked, surprised. Besides supplying the initial sapling for Celestara’s avocado tree, Melia didn’t have much to do with the goddess.

“Yes,” Celestara nodded. “Because of your efforts, this place has been bearable. You provided the light that brightened Eluna’s day, and as such…she wasn’t nearly as catty with me as she could have been.”

Melia listened with amusement as the goddess started off all high and mighty, but as her speech went on, she got tired of it and reverted to a bored socialite on house arrest.

“If this is about the avocado…,” Melia sighed, unsure of what her role here really was.

“Oh!” Celestara beamed rapturously, her entire body emitting golden light as she reminisced fondly. “That toast was simply….”

Celestara trailed off and Melia couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Divine?”

Celestara let out an involuntary snort. The goddess froze mid-smile, glanced down at Melia fearfully, frowned, and looked embarrassed to have been caught in such an act.

“I’ll have you know I’ve smited people for less than that,” she said seriously…though it was spoiled by a smile. Melia was unmoving, letting her grin stay plastered on her face until Celestara gave in.

“Fine. Yes, it was fantastic. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to access my offerings, I’d forgotten what mortal food tastes like. Surely they’ve improved over the years I’ve been locked away? I never imagined such a combination until Eluna started dreaming of it!”

“So you’re saying the guacamole debacle was Brandy’s fault?” Melia asked, her arms crossed. But she shook her head. “This isn’t the time for that.”

“Indeed, our time is limited,” Celestara said. “But now that you’ve recovered, we aren’t in danger of losing you for another 100 years.”

“So…I died,” Melia brought up again. Her last few moments played vividly in her mind; the dagger, the poison dripping off of it…the burning agony as her flesh was sliced open. “I mean, that is what happens when you stick a dagger through your heart.”

“For a mortal, yes,” Celestara agreed.

“Is that not what I am?” Melia asked, confused. Celestara gave her an odd look.

“At what point is a god mortal?”

“Me?” Melia scoffed. “I’m no god.”

“Your status being here begs to differ,” Celestara denied.

Melia stared at the woman, her jaw slowly falling open. Celestara merely chuckled.

“Are you not aware of your own domain?” She asked. Melia frowned.

“Somebody else said that to me,” she muttered, thinking back. Who was it? And where would she have been? “Ah! Chaos told me, back in the dungeon. That’s right. Well, I’ll tell you what I told her: no. I’m not. I don’t even know what a domain means.”

“Surely you jest?”

“I could take a wild guess,” Melia said, rolling her eyes. “Like, you’re the goddess of light, healing, resurrection, and avocados.”

Celestara nodded along as Melia listed them off…until she got to the last one. Melia was joking, honestly, but once again, the goddess froze. She stared into space, making Melia wonder if gods had their own system, and eventually she buried her head in her hands.

“It’s so true,” Celestara groaned, letting her refined speech slip into lazy talk. “That wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“Was any of this supposed to happen?” Melia asked wryly. As much as she enjoyed talking with the now-free goddess, Melia had a hard time believing any of this was planned. Her entire trip to Horizon, picking up Moeldywn, and flying down to the demon lands was one big whim! She didn’t even see it coming!

“Now that my seal is broken, I can speak freely,” Celestara said, recovering slightly. “No. It was not.”

“Then explain it to me,” Melia demanded. “Explain it to me like I’m 5. I busted you out of your crystal; the least you can do is tell me what all the fuss was about. And you said my friend is ‘fine’. What exactly does that mean? Where is Brandy? Is she stuck back in the demon’s palace? What was the point of all of this if it didn’t send her back?!”

“Meliastraza,” Celestara soothed placatingly. “The soul of Eluna Brandywine has returned to her original realm. As for her mortal shell, I’ve retrieved it, in case the day comes when she wishes to return.”

Melia nearly passed out with relief. Those two sentences had more to unpack than a vacation to the Bahamas. Not that Melia had ever been out of the country, let alone somewhere on a cruise, but she was having a strangely hard time being serious right now. Or rather, two forces warred inside her: the carefree, irreverent, mischievous gnomish side, and the domineering, powerful, not-to-be-trifled-with draconic side. And yet they both answered to Melia, the human.

What really mattered was that Brandy was safe, truly safe, at a place nobody in this world could ever reach her, hurt her, or abuse her again. She wasn’t a slave to her class and no longer needed to fear oppression through levels or a demanding quest that would slowly sap her strength and sanity.

But Melia wouldn't forget the words Celestara chose to use about Brandy’s potential return: if she wishes.

Melia didn’t dare get her hopes up, but there was a chance, no matter how microscopic, that she would see her best friend again!

“So Brandy made it home,” Melia confirmed. “She’s no longer here?”

“That’s what I said, yes,” Celestara repeated patiently, though she gave Melia another odd look.

Melia didn’t care if a goddess of a fantasy world thought she was crazy. She was overwhelmed by a powerful mix of emotions she couldn’t contain. Her face screwed up as tears and snot started oozing, and yet she couldn’t stop a smile from forming on her lips.

It was a pained smile, and her heart ached like somebody ripped it from her chest, but Melia survived the torture knowing Brandy was back where she belonged.

Celestara waited until Melia mastered herself before continuing.

“I hope you know your sacrifice was not in vain.”

“Mmmm,” Melia nodded, not knowing what to say.

Yeah? Duh? So what?

Melia was rather apathetic to her own death, or stasis, or limbo, or whatever her current state was. It wasn’t Celestara’s fault, but Melia couldn’t bring herself to be cheerful.

“I mean it,” Celestara pressed. “If it were not for you, I don’t think my seal would have been broken.”

“So it worked, yeah?” Melia asked. “The quest is finished? You’re no longer imprisoned in that crystal? Or wherever you were sealed away?”

“Indeed it did,” Celestara nodded. “Which is why I was able to send Eluna back. I am a goddess of my word; once the conditions were met, I sent her home.”

“So it must be true, right?” Melia asked. “Since killing that Darius guy didn’t count, am I supposed to believe that I’m the Dark Lord or whatever?”

“To be honest, I think I might be more stumped than you are,” Celestara admitted. “I was not aware you were part of the bargain. As I understand it, Letharion’s plan was simple: create conflict, seed unrest. As fighting spreads across the land, his power grows. But he was not content to wait for tension to boil over naturally; instead, he infused a mortal with some of his power to create a [Champion]. Yes, it would weaken him in the short term, but once he got approval from Balance to orchestrate a war between the human and demon races, the ensuing months and years of fighting would benefit him tremendously.”

“Seems rather shortsighted to me,” Melia frowned. “If he had the foresight to make me the target of the quest that sealed you away, based on the assumption that it would be much harder to kill me than a demon [Champion], you’d think he’d also realize that I could wipe out said [Champion].”

“To be frank…I’m not entirely certain Letharion knew you were part of the bargain, either,” Celestara said. “At least, not at first.”

“What do you mean? Right before Darius’ body stopped working, when Letharion was speaking through his mouth, he told me to read the fine print. Surely he had to know his guy wasn’t going to cut it?”

“I’m not so sure,” Celestara shook her head. “You see, his plan revolved around keeping the [Saint] active for as long as possible. Demons are naturally stronger than the other races, even elves, but especially humans. He should have had much more time. But he’s a wily one, I’ll give him that. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he only found out about the loophole when I did…which is to say, right at the end. Perhaps that was why he was so happy despite his [Champion]’s defeat. He must have figured that, with you fulfilling the conditions of ‘Dark Lord’, he had unlimited time. His plan was practically invulnerable. No one could ever expect you to sacrifice yourself. After all, you were never part of the equation to begin with.”

Melia jerked back.

“What do you mean?”

“I think,” Celestara sighed, “This goes back to your domain. Your status among us. The fact that you are…and are not…one of us.”

“Okay, now I’m just confused,” Melia grumped. “You say I’m a god, you say I’m not a god…I died and yet I can’t die…well? Which is it?”

“Both,” Celestara said. Melia looked mutinous, so she raised her hands and continued. “I’ll try to explain the best I can! But first, can you at least understand why Letharion couldn’t account for your presence when you aren’t part of the Divine Order? You are, to use a crude phrase, outside the system.”

Melia was stunned. She had access to a system…the one that gave her skills, levels, and other fun goodies. Was there a different system she didn’t know about?

“You are aware of the Divine Order, are you not?” Celestara continued. Melia tilted her head. “At the top, you have Balance. Balance created Order and Chaos, and in turn, Order and Chaos made us…the gods of the realm.”

“Ah,” Melia nodded. “Yes, I’m familiar.”

“You might consider us a family of sorts,” Celestara added with a tired sigh. If that was the case, Lehtarion must be the dooshy cousin. “Excluding Balance, which is incomprehensible to us lesser beings, all life subsists inside the system. We are part of it; we are bound by it. We are the pillars that hold it up, and through us, the system spreads to the mortals below. Through the system, they see us. They experience our gifts, know our desires, and fulfill our commands. Each of us in the godly plane has our own domain. We use our domains to guide mortals, teach and mold them, and help them grow and prosper.

“That then begs the question: what is a domain? War, life, magic; these are all domains, yes, but perhaps these are so well known because they are easy for mortals to understand. Would they recognize jealousy or unrequited love? Perhaps. These fall under Helena’s aspect of passion. How about the art of fishing under a full moon in the middle of a winter storm? Esoteric, yes, but the elves would pray to Lunaria asking for blessings such as these.”

“So what is mine?” Melia asked bluntly. “If I am what you say I am.”

“It is hard to say,” Celestara pouted, and Melia wondered if she was trying to think of a way to put it off. But no, she meant it literally. “I heard Chaos refer to it only once, which was odd, since it seemed to fall under Order’s purview, but it stuck with me all the same. You, Meliastraza, come from outside the system. Balance picked you, and Balance chose the name from a language I cannot understand. Forgive me for butchering an unknown tongue, but here it goes: [Kill Switch].”

Melia’s eyes went wide. She understood those words, though she never expected to hear English again, especially spoken by someone from this world. Celestara worked her jaw, as if the harsh-sounding consonants physically pained her to say.

“I do not know the word, but Chaos explained it to me like this. It comes from the realm of Visitors, from an ancient and archaic pact called [Doomsday Protocol] for an artificially summoned creature called [A.I.]. Chaos believes that the [Summoners] of that realm created a disease that could have wiped them out. Like a particularly virulent plague, it bypassed all their immunities and destroyed them from inside. Naturally, the realm did not want extinction, so it created the aforementioned [Killswitch]. It would destroy nearly everything, but at least they would be able to rebuild.”

Melia was speechless.

Celestara clearly didn’t understand the words themselves, but she must have taken them to heart so seriously that she learned to say them flawlessly. But that was beside the point, because for as awkward as her explanation was, Celestara nearly scored a bullseye.

The [Doomsday Protocol] was real. The [Kill Switch] was designed. But artificial intelligence never progressed far enough to need it, nor was it ever as malevolent as people feared. And so it was forgotten. Mostly.

There was one niche sector of the market that never did away with the protocol: video entertainment.

After a century of horror stories about cybernetic killer robots taking over the world under a vast, globe-spanning central intelligence, the government was rightfully cautious when video game developers started dabbling in AI. Then a certain anime and manga went viral, featuring players trapped inside a game where death was very real and controlled by a rogue computer; bills were passed to require safeguards against it. Buried in the back of every virtual reality application was a baked-in program dubbed the [Kill Switch]. It could, at the press of a button, shut down a game server…permanently. The entire hardware would be wiped, the equivalent of being nuked from space.

Naturally, no game developer ever wanted to use it, since it would cost them fortunes to reinstall from a basic build, and as far as Melia knew, it never was. But over 50 years later, the [Doomsday Protocol] was still in effect in certain government offices, secure bunkers…and MMOs.

Melia sat back, stunned.

Probably more than anyone alive, she understood exactly what those terms meant, more than most people who played the game. One thing about being terminally ill and lodged inside a video game meant Melia often needed to find distractions from her distractions. A game stopped being a game if she lived it, so on occasion she went to great lengths to stave off the madness. Including, on two separate occasions, reading Fantasy Online’s entire Terms of Service.

Yes, to avoid going insane, Melia read the EULA.

She knew that, at any moment, a player could: irrevocably lose access to any and all game materials, services, playtime, added funds, subscriptions, and in-game materials and cosmetics…due to a cybernetic attack.

And now…she was the [Kill Switch].

Didn’t Moeldywn say something similar to that, once upon a time?

The god’s ultimate weapon, the total reset button.

“I…see,” Melia said with a frown. Celestara looked relieved that her awkward explanation was received.

“So now you understand why Letharion might not be able to predict your involvement,” she said. “Not when your whole existence is designed to be unpredictable to us. You, Meliastraza, are the [Destroyer of Worlds]. Mortal [Philosophers] have often pondered the meaning of life. The answers are many and varied. To some, it might be to draw closer to the gods. To others, it might be to become as gods themselves. But few ponder the purpose of the gods. Our existence to them is incomprehensible. But we have one; as mortals strive to please us, we strive to please Balance. Your purpose, then, is not to grow the legions of your followers, but to curb the zeal in which the world burns itself out. I imagine that takes many forms; from observing mortals as they lust for power as you once did, to denying the aspirations of a certain power-hungry god of war.”

“About that,” Melia frowned. “If Balance is all about, you know, balance, how is that fair? I mean, why would it let one god build up an army, empower a champion, and plunge the world into war, and not give anything to the other side? In fact, you were sealed away! That’s, like, the opposite of evening things out!”

“You must understand,” Celestara said with a pained smile, “That Balance carries a long ledger. I, too, have experienced Balance’s Gaze, and its favor is intoxicating. Do not forget: during that time the mortals dubbed the ‘Age of Upheaval’, I played a pivotal role. Never before was my power so great, and it will be ages until it is again. But when it ended…Balance grew bored. It wished for more entertainment. As such, my family was beside themselves trying to earn its favor, to bask under its gaze. To drink from its power. Many such attempts have been made in recent years, but most have fallen flat. Only after Letharion was allowed to summon the [Saint] did Balance fully invest, and once again your services were required. You were recalled from your great slumber, and, well, I think you know the rest.”

Melia nodded slowly.

So. Letharion was behind it all, wasn’t he?

Her blood ran cold.

From what she just heard, if she understood correctly, the gods were locked into some sort of…monumental dick-measuring contest to see who could ruffle Balance’s jimmies the best. All for what? To gain power. Balance received entertainment; the gods got swole. Melia could see how that might spiral out of control. And what effect would it have on Humanity?

Well, for one, the gods also liked to pour out their blessings, make a [Champion] or two, and Melia was pretty sure demigods were how raid bosses were made. Maybe even world bosses. People like the [Executor] might start popping up again, killing thousands, if not millions, in their quest for glory. Yes, Melia could see why a [Destroyer] might be needed.

But as she sat there digesting Celestara’s words, something else stuck out to her.

“Wait,” Melia said curiously, her lips pulling into a frown. “What was that you said about legions of followers? I don’t have any followers…unless you count my three [Retainers].”

“Oh?” Celestara smirked, looking very amused. “Do you not know? How would you feel, then, upon learning that you do? And, interestingly, those three servants of yours do not follow the faith.”

“What.” Melia blurted, her expression flat. “What faith? You make it sound like I have a religion.”

“Of course you do!” Clestara laughed. “As do all gods. Where do you think we get our power? Not all of it comes directly from Balance as a gift.”

She sighed and picked the edge of her toga, which was once again threatening to slide down her shoulder.

“How do you think I got so skinny?” She muttered darkly. “I’m starved for prayer here, geez.”

“Go. Back,” Melia growled. “What’s this nonsense about a religion?”

“The [Cult of the Destroyer]?” Celestara grinned. “You really haven’t heard of them?”

“Oh, heck no,” Melia pouted. “This is so not on!”

“What will you do, I wonder?” Celestara laughed. “Will you seek them out? Will you continue to ignore them? I get the feeling you won’t see eye to eye, since they worship your aspect as The Destroyer and not Meliastraza the pretend-gnome.”

“What…do they do?” Melia asked hesitantly.

“Oh, you know,” Celestara said with a wave of her hand. “Try to bring about the end of the world.”

“Straight. Out!” Melia shouted through gritted teeth.

“Oh, but if you confront them,” Celestara said, grinning as she leaned close, “If you destroy them…you’d be fulfilling their greatest wishes. Would you kill them, grant them the death they so desire? You would only gain more fervent support!”

Celestara had the gall to wink.

“Not a bad racket if you can get it.”

“I think I’m done here,” Melia said, standing up.

She looked around, and she could already see signs of improvement. The chair Celestara sat on had been little more than a rickety stool of flimsy twigs when she first woke up, and now it at least had armrests. The goddess herself had a long way to go to fill out the places she was wasting away in, but she didn’t look quite as tired and her smile was hard to ignore.

“I’ve got a few more questions,” Melia said. “First: if I’m here…where’s my body? Do I still have a body? Am I going to wake up in a respawn chamber?”

“You function fundamentally differently than mortals,” Celestara explained. “While Chaos has the strength to bring you back to life if you were to die in one of her dungeons, I do not. I doubt I can reliably raise the dead for quite some time. When you stabbed yourself in the heart, your mortal shell died. It might be easier to say it went into a state of suspended animation; if I had not been able to delay your soul from sleeping, you would not have woken up for many years as you rebuilt. All that to say: yes. Your body is, indeed, lying in the middle of the demon palace.”

“Nobody carried me off?” Melia asked, tilting her head. “They just…left me there?”

“May I remind you that you’re a dragon?” Celestara sighed. “I swear, how can you forget? Once the last of your health drained away, your form reverted. But don’t worry; that princess you’re so fond of made it out safely. She used that portal you nailed in place to go back home…and your [Retainers] have taken turns watching over you. Ah, before you ask…it’s been about…3 days.”

Melia gulped and nodded. That was manageable.

“Last question,” Melia said. “If I want to go home, how do I do it? Do I just, I don’t know, wake up? Is it something you need to do?”

“This is the Divine Realm,” Celestara said, as if that explained everything. “Currently, you are in my domain. If you wish to leave, simply will it so. A door will appear, reuniting your soul with your flesh.”

Melia instantly thought about going back, since it was so intrusive, and, behold, a door appeared. And, in typical Melia fashion, it was a very unnecessary door. It was much larger than it needed to be, even for a normal human, and as a gnome, Melia would need to jump to reach the handle. Celestara sighed loudly behind her and Melia blushed.

“Okay, last last question, for real,” she said, hiding her red cheeks behind a wicked grin. “You said to leave your domain, all I had to do was will it. What if I want to go to somebody else’s? Say…a particularly obnoxious demon’s?”

“Ah,” Celestara nodded. “You should be able to manage it, but allow me.”

She waved her hand, and next to Melia’s monstrosity of a door, a human-sized, elegant white-wood door with golden trim appeared.

“Step through there and you’ll find your way to Lehtarion. Whatever you have planned…thank you. And good luck.”