Chapter 126: [Pork Roast] and Family Food (Patreon)

Watching a small horde of demons crawl anxiously around her draconic body in an attempt to tidy up the courtyard could have been amusing, but Melia was glad Moeldywn made her get up. Being too lazy was a trap that wasted the day, and Melia needed to watch out for it. Dragons, such as she was, had a penchant for letting their perception of time get skewed. She had far too many temporally challenged interests to let them expire while she loafed.

And that wasn’t even talking about her friends…which did fall into the same category.

No, Melia was fixated on food now that Moeldywn proposed cooking. Even though it wouldn’t quell her physical hunger, she wanted something filling. Something comforting and robust, homely and healing for her soul. Which, upon reflection, was extremely healthy now that she thought about it, but it would probably be good for her friends too. And though she didn’t have much experience with such things personally in her last life (not through any fault of her parents), Melia’s first thoughts of such a meal inevitably veered toward a roast.

In particular, today Melia wanted to make [Pork Loin Crackling with Roast Veggies and Applesauce].

Was [Cooking] Melia’s way to cope? Yes. Definitely. But that didn’t mean it was a bad thing and she wasn’t actively running away from her problems or trying to hide the issues behind good food. The food mainly helped smooth over awkward conversations and dulled the pain.

When Melia followed Moeldywn through the portal, the house was mostly empty. The princess’ staff bustled about, taking care of their daily chores, but most of [Sunrise] were absent. The only one still in her quarters was Y’cennia, and the catgirl was too busy absorbed in her [Alchemy] to notice Melia’s return. That was fine; Melia didn’t want to interrupt her and she’d rather greet everyone at the same time. Or, if they didn’t all return at once, she wanted dinner ready to ease their nerves and make hard questions easier to ask.

She started with some premium cuts of [Hellboar Loin]. Despite the ominous-sounding name, [Hellboar] was not poisonous, inedible, or otherwise foul in nature. They were native to the demon lands, though Melia didn’t know if they’d always been huge, grotesque mutated hogs or if the invasion wars fundamentally changed the pigs that used to roam the country, much like the land itself. In fact, they made a tasty ingredient, provided a person was strong enough to survive hunting them. These cuts came from several rank 6 monsters, though they ranged from around 580 to 620 in level.

The most important part of this dish, which gave it its name, was the crackling. The skin was prepared in a special way, completely removing any and all moisture so that it became crispy and crunchy. Melia used [Dehydrate] on the portions instead of waiting the usual 24 hours in a controlled environment for it to happen naturally. Once sufficiently dry, Melia scored the skin and fat in shallow lines, careful not to cut deep into the meat. Finally, she massaged a generous amount of oil into the skin before packing it heavily with [Sea Salt]. She brushed off a small amount of excess before sliding it into the oven.

The trick with good crackling was to start with high heat and roast until the skin began to bubble and crackle. Perhaps Melia could have sped it up with a skill, but she elected to watch it manually, since she wasn’t in a rush and preferred a hands-on approach. Her roasts were rather large, fitting for a large party of big eaters who were allowed to eat as much as they pleased, so the first phase took about 35 minutes before Melia was satisfied.

The kitchens in Moeldywn’s private residence were fairly well removed from the inhabited wings of the impressive palace, but even so, the powerful smell of roasting meat began to permeate the walls. Melia was just lowering the temperature on the ovens so that the roasts could cook thoroughly without burning the perfect crackling when Y’cennia stumbled in, looking like she was in a trance.

“Why…does it have…to smell…so good?” She practically mewled, a small bit of drool pooling in her partially open mouth. She waddled into the middle of the kitchen, closed her eyes, and took a deep whiff of aromatic air. “Mmmmmmph…ahhh!”

Her eyes shot open, her tail swished behind her, and her head shot toward the oven as her eyes zeroed in on it. Melia, standing in front wearing some comically large oven mitts and a fun hat, gave Y’cennia a cheesy smile and waved.

“Oh!” Y’cennia jerked to her senses. “Ah. You’re back. I mean! Welcome back.”

It was clear the catgirl was awkwardly stumbling through the inevitable reunion, but the [Pork Roast] was doing its job flawlessly.

“I am,” Melia said simply. “Do you want to help me make dinner?”

Y’cennia looked doubtful, still torn by what must have been her uncertainty about seeing Melia after such an…abrupt course correction over the last few days. But her stomach made up her mind for her with a loud growl. She blushed slightly and nodded rapidly.

“Great! Want to help with the [Applesauce]? Here’s a recipe. The mats are on the counter.”

Melia hadn’t planned to have anyone help her cook, not even the palace staff. But since Y’cennia was here and her new class meshed well with [Cooking], it was the perfect time to add her into the mix. Melia waved to where she’d set up all the extras and summoned her [Cookbook] next to the [Sweetbite Apples]. She flipped to the recipe and Y’cennia looked over it solemnly.

“You think you can handle that?”

The catgirl didn’t answer right away and instead focused on the book. She looked nervous but determined, so Melia left her to it, deciding she’d only step in if something catastrophic went down. Even if the [Applesauce] came out with a 1-star quality, she’d still be able to boost the endgame dish to a full 5 stars.

Melia turned her attention back to the [Pork Roast] and admired its golden outer shell. She could smell nervousness mingling with resolution wafting off Y’cennia, mixing with the sweet scent of mana. She could feel the recipe coming together as apples transitioned into a saucier form and began working on the potatoes and greens.

“You’re doing great,” Melia encouraged, earning an appreciative hum from the catgirl.

“I…,” Y’cennia began before her nerves finally caught up with her. Melia could hear the tension in her voice as Y’cennia shuddered. “Didn’t think I’d be cooking with you today.”

Melia kept her features impassive as she worked on the gravy.

“I see.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Y’cennia continued rather quickly, “But I feel like so much has happened over the last couple of days that this just feels….”

Melia tilted her head but said nothing. She glanced up at the catgirl and saw her struggling mightily with her words.

“So surreal?” Y’cennia finished with a defeated shrug. “Like I’m in a daze?”

“Understandable,” Melia agreed. She didn’t know how she’d feel in Y’cennia’s shoes, but she felt she needed to say something. The [Mixologist] went back to stirring her concoction aggressively and Melia could tell the recipe was getting close to being finished. She only wished the upcoming conversation would go so smoothly. But before the lingering feeling in the air could sour, the first straggler returned home.

“Oh gods, I think I’m going to expire,” Jessica moaned, walking into the kitchen as if she had a ring in her nose and somebody was pulling her. “Did you know you can smell this all the way outside? That’s evil. Pure evil.”

She walked right up to Melia and sniffed her.

“You smell real. Glad to see you’re not dead. Or is this a really elaborate dream?”

“Not a dream,” Melia giggled. “We still have a little while before it’s done, though. Do you need a snack to tide you over?”

Jessica opened her mouth to agree but paused. Her hand stalled over her middle, but unlike Y’cennia, her belly didn’t grumble. Jessica closed her mouth with a frown.

“I can’t,” she said with a grimace. “I eat too much of your food anyway. Have you seen Queen Moeldywn? I might need to take her advice and visit a [Tailor].”

“There could be worse problems to have,” Melia giggled.

“Yeah, like losing your giant dragon,” Jessica retorted. Melia looked up and saw Jessica staring down at her thoughtfully. “What happened in the demon castle?”

“Geez,” Y’ceenia sighed. “Sometimes I wish I had your lack of filter. How does it feel to always be able to speak what’s on your mind?”

“It’s pretty awesome being me,” Jessica bragged…and then her brain caught up. “Waitaminute…,”

“Oh! I think I’m done!” Y’cennia nearly shouted, dodging Jessica’s wrath. Melia hopped up on the counter and encountered some very passable [Applesauce]. It wasn’t up to her 5-star standards, but it was a solid 3 stars, which was very respectable for a chef making a dish for the first time.

“Perfect,” Melia said with a grin. “Once the potatoes are done, all that’s left is the [Roast] itself and we can make it a meal.”

“Is there anything I can assist with?” Alastair said. “Something smells amazing. What a perfect end to an amazing day.”

“Did something good happen?” Y’cennia asked. Now that she was done with her task, she looked a lot more relaxed. She leaned against the counter with a wide smile on her face. Melia chuckled; making even a part of this dish probably gave her a decent amount of experience.

“I visited the Bastion to witness Celestara’s return,” Al said fondly. “I received a class evolution.”

Melia nearly fell into the oven as she leaned in to check the [Roast]. She caught her hat before it could become a part of the dish and quickly straightened her apron out.

“Really?!” She gasped excitedly. “Al, that’s wonderful! Congratulations!”

“Welcome to the big leagues,” Jessica smirked. “Now I really gotta catch up.”

“It seems like we have much to discuss,” Moeldywn said, entering the kitchen alongside a handful of maids. “I tried waiting patiently. Meliastraza, your devious plan to infuse the whole castle with an irresistible smell has succeeded magnificently. I could sit still no longer. When will it be served?”

“We’re almost done,” Melia said. She removed the [Pork Roast] from the oven and placed it next to the other dishes on the counter. On their own, each offering could be considered a meal. Even the [Applesauce], which was in a pot large enough to fit a whole turkey. Gathered together, she used a final skill, [Presentation], to combine them into a complete feast.

“I’m not late, am I?” Ellesea asked, out of breath as she stumbled into the kitchen. “I didn’t miss it, did I?”

“How’d you know there was something to miss?” Y’cennia asked. “It’s not like we advertised we were cooking dinner.”

“You underestimate the power of a rank 37 [Chef],” Moeldywn said wryly, catching Ellesea as she nearly tripped on her robes. “If my residence were less private, we’d have many uninvited guests assaulting our table. And speaking of,” she nodded firmly, “We are not barbarians. Let us retire to the dining room and dinner will be served.”

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[Pork Loin Crackling with Roast Veggies and Applesauce]

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Level: 250

Rarity: Epic

Quality: 5 Stars

Made by: Melia the Magnificent

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On use: spend at least 30 minutes eating to gain 50% primary stats and 125% secondary stats for 4 hours. Can only be gained once a day.

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A feast fit for the whole family.

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Calling it a single “dish” was deceiving. The [Pork Loin] fell into the “feast” category of meals, which the system didn’t officially recognize, even though many dishes fell under its umbrella. Melia was surprised the meal they ate at Penny’s wasn’t labeled as a feast, but she supposed, technically, each course was its own specialty.

This meal was big and it was meant to be shared amongst a large group of people. There was more than one roast, since Melia made 6 of them, and a platter containing the golden pork sat conveniently in front of each person at the table. She didn’t expect them to eat an entire loin themselves, but she’d rather have too much than too little. Next to each platter was a formidable gravy boat (closer to the size of a gravy warship) and smaller trays filled with greens and potatoes. Of course, Y’cennia’s [Applesauce] made it there too, though it had been absorbed into the feast and was no longer its own unique dish. It had been portioned into 4 smaller bowls, which could then be drawn from to fill an individual saucer.

The [Pork Loin] might not have been Melia’s flashiest dish, as it hadn’t been given any transformative effects, but she would definitely call it the most impressive meal she’d cooked yet. For the first 15 minutes of dinner, nobody spoke a word, and all that could be heard was the frantic clinking of silverware on fine china and the satisfying crunch of crackling as everybody greedily devoured their food. Melia, who was always hungry, didn’t need to eat so fast, because she knew she wouldn’t be filled. Instead, she savored every bite.

She’d only had [Pork Loin] once, and it hadn’t been nearly as fancy as this. Her dad had made it during the holidays, and in Melia’s mind, it became the quintessential Christmas dish. More than turkey, more than ham…more than goose, which was famous once upon a time in other countries, even if Melia wasn’t sure the tradition remained in her days. She lifted a bite to her lips and closed her eyes.

She could see the faces of her mom and dad as they smiled at each other and tried to convince a very young Melia to eat asparagus. While her immersion was slightly ruined, she popped the piece of pork into her mouth with a grin. Her palate was pleased by the crisp texture and satisfying crunch of the crackling skin, layering the meal in a rich, savory shell. High-heat roasting rendered the fat down into the meat beneath, keeping the cut moist and deeply flavorful. And, of course, she could not forget the gravy. The drippings, combined with herbs, garlic, and aromatics, created a savory base with which to temper individual bites.

She watched Jessica build a dam of potatoes to hold back a sea of gravy, while Y’cennia took measured bites from each side, one at a time. Moeldywn, perhaps surprisingly, had stacked her plate the highest. Even though there was no worry that they’d run out, she still made sure to secure her portion.

Or maybe it was that here, among people she considered family, she no longer felt the need to keep up appearances. Being such a high level herself, surely she needed more sustenance than most.

“So,” Melia asked at length, having demolished an entire tray herself and pushing her plate away to prevent further temptation. “What do you think?”

“Meliastraza,” Moeldywn sighed, “Once again, you’ve outdone yourself. Never let the dragons see what you’re capable of; you give credence to their claim that they are superior to the rest of us mortals.”

Melia felt her chest puff up; getting praised by her princess always made her feel like she was on top of the world. But that last word, mortals, had an interesting effect on the table. Where a few members had started to slow down or slip into a food coma, they all sat a little bit straighter and cast sideways glances at Melia.

“I suppose now’s as good a time as any to bring it up,” Melia sighed. “I know you’ve all been incredibly patient, but I’m sure the question on everyone’s lips is: what happened 3 days ago?”

“Actually,” Jessica piped up, dunking an entire slice of pork into her applesauce and letting it sink, “My first question is different. Where’s Eluna? Why isn’t she here with us?”

“Ah,” Melia nodded. “Another good question. I’m afraid there isn’t an easy answer, but the short version is…she went home.”

“Home?” Ellesea asked. “Forgive me, but I’m not always the best with slang. Is that a euphemism for…something else?”

“She didn’t die, if that’s what you’re asking,” Melia denied. “You know she’s a Visitor. Her soul returned to her original realm. According to Celestara, her body is preserved, ready and waiting for her to come back.”

The others looked at Melia with wide eyes and she chuckled to herself. Perhaps she'd given them more to chew on than the food in front of them.

“I think it’s best if we start with what you do know,” Moedlywn said helpfully. “You saw the Demon King. You witnessed his ascension as Letharion’s [Champion], and you watched him die. At that point, if he were truly the focus of Eluna’s Quest, the goddess would have been freed and the [Saint] would have fulfilled her duties. But this didn’t happen. Meliastraza here, perhaps foolishly or perhaps not, jumped to the conclusion faster than the rest of us. She was the Dark Lord the entire time, and only with her passing would the quest be complete.”

All the eyes had swiveled to Moeldywn as she started talking, but once she finished, they all turned back to Melia.

“I didn’t want you to see what happened next,” Melia said ruefully. “So I made a portal back home.”

“Not that I’m ungrateful,” Jessica said, “But what the hell? Do you think we’re squeamish or something? We gut monsters every day. We can handle a little gore.”

“Speak for yourself,” Ellesea muttered, while Y’cennia nodded absently.

“It’s more that I thought it would be traumatizing,” Melia said. “And I didn’t want you to try and stop me. You’d get in the way and chances were you’d just hurt yourselves.”

“Of what exactly?” Jessica said, frowning. “I’m pretty sure we know, but I think after the last few days, you owe it to us to say it straight.”

“I killed myself,” Melia said, looking her dead in the eye. “I traded my life for the life of my friend. And, considering the circumstances, I’d do it again.”

“You…actually died, then?” Alastair asked. He was more solemn than usual, which was saying something, but given the topic of discussion, Melia understood.

“Well,” she said with a frown, “That gets…complicated. It also explains why I was gone for 3 days. It also gave me a glimpse at how the gods live and some insight into my own realm, which, I gotta say, I don’t want to use very often if I can help it.”

“Your own realm,” Y’cennia said in an awed, shaky voice. She bowed her head slightly and tried to keep herself calm. “The gods walk among us….”

Alastair patted her on the shoulder to console her, while Ellesea looked rather shaken. Jessica’s reaction was entirely different from what Melia expected, and as she stared at the [Hunter], Jessica made her opinion known.

“So Eluna’s gone? Damn, that sucks. I…didn’t think I’d ever warm up to the idea of being friends with the [Saint], but now that she’s gone, I wish she wasn’t. There’s so much I wanted to do together.”

“Me too, Jessica,” Melia said in a needy voice, but she kept it from cracking. “But she’ll be back. Celestara told me herself.”

“You…spoke with her?” Alastair gasped. “Wait. Did you travel to her realm? Did you see her in person?”

“Yes, actually,” Melia said. “I’ll be honest, Al; she doesn’t look good. But a hundred years of captivity will do that to you, and now that she’s free, she’ll be able to heal.”

“I…think I heard her,” Alastair confessed. “I was afraid to say it out loud; I didn’t want to be accused of heresy. But after she was released, a golden pillar appeared over the Bastion, and I made the pilgrimage. Every person in the city with a holy class did. Her statue was infused with radiant light, and as we prayed at her altar, we received blessings. It’s how I received my class. I…made an offering, and I swear I heard…giggling. Followed by a…crunching sound. It was….”

Alastair trailed off, juggling his hands in front of him as if they contained his slippery thoughts.

“That’s right!” Melia gasped. “I want to hear all about your new class! But first…Jessica. To answer your question…yes. Brandy’s gone. But only temporarily. Like I said, Celestara told me that Brandy’s body is secure, so when she comes back, she won’t need to level up again. She’ll be just as she was when she warped away, and I’m sure she’ll want to hear all about how you’ve been in her absence!”

“You make it sound like a vacation,” Jessica said with a smirk. “And if that’s the way it’s gonna be, I’m not gonna hesitate to use my ticket to the buffet at Phantasia without her.”

“But how do you know she’ll want to come back?” Y’cennia asked. When Melia turned to face her, the catgirl wilted. “I’m sorry! I know I probably shouldn’t know this, but I heard Eluna complain multiple times! It sounded like she had so much unfinished business she got yanked away from; why would she want to return?”

“Oh, that’s part of who she is,” Melia answered. “She complains to de-stress. But even without that, I know she’ll be back. She’s my best friend, and I know her! With what Order and Chaos have planned, she’ll be at the front of the line! And now that Letharion’s been taken care of, he won’t get in the way!”

“Melia,” Ellesea ventured tentatively, “You know the god of war wasn’t actually there in the demon castle, right? He was just inhabiting a vessel? Can we really say anything has been…taken care of?”

“Absolutely,” Melia nodded confidently. “I traveled to his realm and made him reconsider.”

The group froze and Moeldywn shook her head.

“I dare not ask,” Alastair said hesitantly. “But when you say that….”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to,” Moeldywn said with a shake of her head. But Melia figured they should know what they were dealing with.

“I bit his arm off, beat him to a pulp, and made him negate the contract he had with the other realm.”

Alastair went white as a sheet and Ellesea didn’t look much better.

“You got into a fight with the god of war?” Jessica asked with a raised brow. “In his own domain? Girl, are you crazy? You can’t win a fight with War!”

“Actually, under the right circumstances, I certainly can,” Melia said grimly. “You can even ask Death. He was there to watch.”

“Don’t suggest mortals try to talk to Death,” Moeldywn said with an explosive sigh. But Melia shook her head.

“All of you should already know this,” she explained. “You all have a version of that title I gave you. Did you think that was for show? After meeting Death and Order, I can tell you it isn’t. They take their jobs seriously…and that description, too. If Death were to come for one of you, I’d ask him to reconsider.”

“That’s more than I ever wanted to know,” Moeldywn groaned, clearly looking at her status screen. Just like everyone else, they were obviously re-reading their titles. “But at the same time, it’s weirdly comforting. But why does that connect Death with Letharion?”

“It has to do with my domain,” Melia said. “Which is still weird for me to process, even having a domain. But Letharion messed with something he shouldn’t have, namely my treasure. I took it personally.”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Jessica grinned, “I give you: a dragon.”

“The dragon,” Moeldywn corrected. “An important distinction.”

“Domain?” Alastair asked, keeping the group on track.

“My domain,” Melia replied, “Involves…world security, shall we say? I’m there to prevent things from getting too out of hand. I’d consider kidnapping souls from another world a pretty big breach of security. Now, before you bring up Visitors from a hundred years ago, let me say this: that was different. They had a choice back then. From what Chaos explained, they volunteered to be born here, and if that doesn’t make a lot of sense, believe me, I can’t wrap my head around it either. But I trust Chaos more than I trust Letharion; what he did didn’t give Brandy a choice. Order’s big plan moving forward wants to call the Visitors back. I don’t know exactly how it’ll work, but it’ll be closer to how Brandy returned with a new body close to her original one, only reset to level 1. Before they open the gate, however, they want us to do some checks.”

“Waitwaitwait,” Jessica threw her hands in front of her. “Back up. The gods…want our help?”

“Sure?” Melia said with a tilt of her head. “Well, really, they want my help, but you’re my party, so why wouldn’t I include you?”

“As if we could help you with anything!” Jessica said, exasperated.

“Actually, in this case, you absolutely can,” Melia said confidently. When the others blinked at her, she smiled broadly. “You see, Order has this thing for…statistics, let's say. He’s definitely a dude who wants all of his ducks in a row. He wants to make sure our world is ready for Visitors, and Chaos does too. I won’t bore you with the details, but he gave me entire lists of numbers he wants confirmed, from spells to mob counts, loot drops and quality assurance....”

“...what?” Jessica asked blankly. “I don’t think I understood half of that.”

“Maybe you’re not supposed to,” Melia shrugged. “Just like I think the only reason I remember my trip to the divine realm is because I’m not mortal.”

“It’s good to see you finally embracing your true nature,” Moeldywn said with a wry smile. “Though I do wish you would do so in less extreme circumstances. At least you had the decency to bribe me with a good meal first.”

“Do you need more?” Melia perked up.

“Gods, woman, no. I’ve already eaten enough for two days, thank you very much.”

“So…what does that mean for us?” Ellesea asked, still working through what Melia said.

“Basically, we keep adventuring. We go around, run some dungeons, fight some rare monsters, grind a few levels. We do a little traveling! In fact, I’m thinking we can go right back to Oasis when we’re ready to start up.”

“Oasis?” Alastair asked. “Not that I have a better idea, but is that necessary? Wasn’t the only reason we were headed south in the first place because we needed to progress Eluna’s Quest?”

“Eh,” Melia shrugged. “We went south to level. We wanted to hit up the dungeon, remember? We still want to do that. Even more so now that we want to run multiples.”

“But how are we going to level if you’re joining us in the dungeon?” Y’cennia asked. “Won’t that neutralize our experience?”

“Ah, but I’ll be syncing,” Melia grinned. “Though…I’m not exactly sure how I’ll fit in with the party. I’m not exactly a healer, so I can’t replace Brandy one-for-one.”

The group fell into thoughtful silence…except for Alastair, who looked like he achieved enlightenment.

“It’s a sign from Celestara,” he breathed, raising his hands and giving thanks. When he noticed everyone else staring at him, he cleared his throat. “Ah, perhaps this is why I received my class evolution,” he explained. “You see, I’ve become a [Valorant].”

“Ooh,” Melia nodded rapidly. “I haven’t heard of that one! Sounds fancy! What’s it do?”

“You’ve already shown you’re aware of what [Paladins] do,”  Alastair said. “How we can fill any role in a party. Usually, once a [Paladin] chooses their order, or at the very least their discipline, they are locked into that route. I still remember that fateful day we tried to help me work on my healing,” he said with a shudder, “But after talking to the Bishop, I’ve come to learn it’s not just me. I have chosen the way of the tank,” Alastair said, “And as such, I’m not suited to heal or do serious damage. There are those in other orders who wield weapons well, and those who use Celestara’s Light to incredible effect. A [Valorant]...can choose two.”

“Oooh!” Melia nodded even faster, bouncing up and down. “Dual spec!”

“Er, if you say so?” Alastair said, not entirely sure of the lingo. “But after Celestara gifted me with this class, I feel it is time to focus on healing. I won’t claim to be a replacement for a [Saint]...but I would be honored if you allowed me to try.”

“Great!” Melia grinned. “I don’t mean to brag, but I’m an okay tank myself! I should be able to handle any 5-man dungeon! Then it’s settled!”

For the first time in a while, Melia felt utterly fulfilled. She didn’t have any secret worries hiding in the back of her brain, and she had a goal to work towards! Those were always the best days, when she could set her mind on a task and simply grind it out. Ellesea and Y’cennia both looked mildly overwhelmed…but that could also be the food coma coming on. Melia didn’t miss the way they were shuffling painfully in their seats.

“Are we just going to gloss over everything else?” Jessica asked, leaning back in her chair and grunting. “The fact that you: A) killed yourself to save a [Saint], B) visited Celestara in her realm, and C) ate the god of war’s arm? Because you didn’t like what he did to your pal?”

“Yes?” Melia asked hopefully. “Is it working?”

Jessica rubbed a hand over her swollen belly and stared longingly at the few remaining slices of [Roast] on the closest platter.

“God damn it,” she groaned. “It totally is. All I can think about is how I want to stuff my face and fall asleep. I don’t have room for any other thoughts.”

“And that,” Moeldywn said, “Is why the [Archdragon] is to be feared.”