Pledged In Blood - Chapter Twenty Nine (Patreon)
Content
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Chapter Twenty Nine
Cave
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The second half of the day’s journey went much like the first. It passed in long stretches of silence and roaming thoughts. There were fewer conversations this time, but I did not mind. Nesh’s expression and body language once more radiated joy and excitement, and I saw no need to interrupt that with speech. The gryphons seemed content to focus on keeping pace with me, and to mull over whatever difficult questions must have lingered in their own minds.
By the time the horizon was swallowing the sun, we flew over much rougher terrain. Where much of my land held rolling hills peppered with stony spires and ridges, here the earth was punctuated with lines of rough-shorn bluffs rising from the broken ground, like rocky waves ever frozen in time. Steep chasms further divided the land between rows of bluffs, with turgid streams flowing through some of them. Most of the bluffs were grayish limestone, though further along, reddish stone mixed in as well. In the distance, another line of cliffs were almost entirely red.
In times long before even dragons called this world home, the land was rocked by the great upheavals that once birthed the mountains. The bluffs that edged our land’s southern reaches were likely given form by the echoes of those same great cataclysmic tremors. More spiritual dragons than I believed such world-reshaping devastation came from the battles of old gods against old gods. After all, the Valley of Gods’ Blood and Earth Flame was so named for the belief that it was where the blood of gods mingled with magma from primal volcanoes. According to the legends, such a mingling was what first spawned the original four Elemental Dragons. It was thought if gods were to bleed, then surely only other gods could have caused such injuries.
When I was but a hatchling myself, and the clan still has a true Singer of the Stars, she used to weave tales of the great conflicts that shaped our valley, drove the old gods into hiding to lick their wounds, and birthed the first four dragons. In my adulthood, I had long realized it was all a bunch of gryphon bollocks and nonsense. Sometimes the earth just shook, and that was that.
Countless small caverns pockmarked the many lines of ragged stone. Most were too small for dragons to shelter in, let alone a dragon and two gryphons. But they made suitable habitat for creatures such as bats and birds, or smaller predators like the arctic wolves and tundra foxes that prowled the lands. Some of the larger caverns made for dens for vorloth, though they often preferred roomier hideaways. There were larger caves and tunnels as well, though some of them were a little more hidden than others. Back when we still had a clan, the hidden caves were well known by the young dragons looking to sneak away with a lover, and too foolish to realize their parents had done the exact same thing when their age.
“It’s been years since I’ve been here, but if I remember correctly, we should head for that cliff!” I lifted a forepaw and pointed towards a bluff with a wind-scalloped edge overhanging the rest of the cliff. “There used to be a cavern there, hidden from most angles, but large enough for the four of us.”
“As good a place to start looking as any!” Sparrow peeled away into a spiraling decent.
“Just be cautious upon entering, in case any vorloth have taken up residence!”
“Vorloth?” Sparrow squawked, glancing back at me with wide eyes. “Those things are almost as big as I am!”
“Bigger, some of them!” I laughed, banking to follow her. “But don’t worry, I’m sure they’re not used to preying upon gryphons out here.”
“What do you mean, out here?” Sparrow hissed as she continued her descent, unsheathing all her claws. “They don’t eat eat…” She snapped her beak. “Do they? I thought that was just a rumor!”
Blue Jay broke into a dive, swooping past her. “Let me go first, just in case!”
Nesh leaned forward against my neck. “They don’t really eat gryphons, do they?”
“I’ve no idea. I’d be a lot more concerned about cornering one and making it feel threatened.” I glanced back at him, smirking. “I doubt there’s anything here, though. Caves are too small for a vorloth’s liking. I just like scaring the birds.”
“Oh!” Nesh laughed, wrapping an arm around my neck while we descended. “I suppose I should have guessed. Do you think Kraas is genuinely trying to protect her, or just reminding her he’s bigger than she is?”
“Both, I should think!”
I left the swifter dives to the gryphons, and carried my passenger on a more gentle descent towards the ground. But I kept my attention on the birds, just in case they did run into any unexpected trouble. Blue Jay landed first, folding his wings against his back as he trotted across the snow towards the base of the cliff. The snow here must have been crunchy and hard, because I could hear his paws punching through its frozen crust with every step. I saw no other paw prints or any other sign that any other large creatures had been here recently.
Blue Jay soon vanished beneath the stony overhang. From above, the cavern I remembered was nearly impossible to see. The cliff itself held an incline, with a large, overhanging ledge at the top. A few bits of crumbled reddish-gray stone marked the snow, warning that the rocky shelf was unstable. I just hoped it didn’t pick the wrong time to come crashing down and smother me, or squish Nesh. Or, I suppose, the gryphons.
Sparrow landed a little ways behind Blue Jay, and quickly vanished beneath the ledge as well. I wheeled about, nearing the ground. I swept in for a landing, and told Nesh to brace himself. He squeezed my neck as I touched down upon my hind paws. I hopped a few awkward steps across the snowy ground, jarring him before I dropped my forepaws down and trotted to a stop. Nesh relaxed his grip, but did not dismount. It was for the best, as there was no sense in unbuckling all the safety gear if the cave did not prove suitable.
Now that I was on the ground, the cavern itself was easier to see, if smaller than I remembered. The entrance looked more like a vaguely circular gap in the stone where it met the earth than an actual cavern. It scarcely looked wide enough to fit Blue Jay, let alone myself. Yet the shadowy darkness beyond the entryway indicated greater depth than its entrance suggested. I remembered it opening up quite a bit, but it had been quite a few years since I’d been here.
Sparrow stood next to it, peering inside. Blue Jay’s cargo harness lay on the ground near her, removed with impressive speed and deftness. I wished I could get mine off that fast. Sparrow flicked her tan and gray tail, tilting her head back and forth. “Well? What have you found in there?”
“Not a lot!” Blue Jay’s voice emanated from the cavern, somehow both muffed by and reverberating off of stone. “It looks like something was nesting in here, but it’s been a long time. There’s some old names, or something, scribed in the walls. It’s an awfully tight fit getting in, but it’s roomier inside.”
“There are so many jokes to be made about that, Bird.” I walked up alongside Sparrow, careful not to bump Nesh against anything. “Is there room enough in there for everyone?”
“I rather doubt it.” Sparrow glanced up at me, shaking out her wings. “He barely fit through the entrance! Scraped a few feathers off his wings, in the process. Then I thought his haunches were going to get stuck! I was worried you and I were going to have to grab his hind legs and pull him back out!”
“Or leave him behind.” I glanced back at Nesh. “You may as well get down. If this one doesn’t work out, we’ll find another in the area, so-”
“I heard that!” Blue Jay poked his head out the cavern opening, his black crown feathers flared up in indignity, eyes narrowed. “There will be no leaving anyone behind. Least of all! If I get stuck, you’ll damn well unstick me!”
While Nesh dismounted, I waved towards an open stretch of snowy land nearby. “Perhaps if you leave your ego outside, there’ll be more room for the rest of us.”
Sparrow warbled her birdsong laugh. “And you’ll be deflated enough without it that you’ll glide right through the entrance.”
“You know what?” Blue Jay hissed at both of us. “If that’s your attitude, then this cave is mind.” He flared his wings to block off the way in. “Find your own.”
I only snorted, glancing at Sparrow. “I suppose we’d better find one for him to store his narcissism in, too.”
“Well, that’s a shot in the stones.” Blue Jay huffed, hanging his head in faux dismay. “I am not narcissistic.”
I reached out and patted the gryphon’s head. “No, of course not.” I set my paw back down, then tried to peer around the male gryphon. “Realistically, though. Is there room for all of us, or not?”
“Assuming you can fit inside without injuring yourself, yes. It’ll be a bit snug, though. Don’t think we can build a fire in there, either.” Blue Jay motioned with his paw for Sparrow and me to move aside, then squeezed himself back through the hole in the rock. He tucked his wings as tightly to his body as he could, and even then, a few more indigo and black feathers ended up littering the ground. His haunches bumped both walls, but with a little wriggling he popped free. “I can make it in and out with a minimum of discomfort, but you may have a bit more trouble.”
“Admittedly, it has been a long time since I’ve been here.” I curled my neck to look myself over, wondering how much I’d grown since then. I didn’t think I was that young when I visited, but perhaps my memory was playing tricks on me. Or maybe I’d just led myself to the wrong cavern. Whatever the case, I wasn’t going to make it inside with all the cargo pouches and the harness strapped to me. “Nesh, we’re going to have to take everything off, or I’m just going to rip it up against the stone.”
“Just as long as you don’t rip yourself up on the stone.” Nesh hurried around me, unbuckling all the safety harness straps first. “Or tear up your wings.”
“I’ll be fine.” Probably, I thought. Part of me wanted to seek out a larger cavern. But we were already here, and the day’s flight left me weary. I suspected I’d be stiff and sore come morning, but at least the stiffness would ease swiftly enough once I returned to flight. “If I must, I’ll sleep outside with a fire. Or that big, white blanket the gryphons brought.”
“Then what are we to sleep under?” Sparrow chirruped her disapproval, settling on her haunches to start removing her own harness.
“Each other’s wings, you love birds.” I snorted at her, ignoring the glare that earned. Instead, I turned my attention to Blue Jay. “You remember how I said I’d do all the hunting for now?” As I spoke, I lifted my limbs one at a time for Nesh to unstrap things from them. “I changed my mind. You’re the only one out of harness, so go find us some us some food.”
Blue Jay gave an exaggerated bow, spreading his forelegs and bumping his chest and beak to the snow. “Yes, Your Majesty! Shall I also nuzzle your paws, and sing your praises?”
“You can do that after you’re back.” I tossed my head towards the sky. “And compose a sonnet about my beauty while you’re away!”
“Keep it up, Dragon, and you’re getting nothing but scraps!” Blue Jay took to the sky in a flurry of feathery wings. The snow here was hardened enough that little of it swirled in the gusts, only the broken bits of crust we’d stirred up. “I’ll be back soon!”
I waited a few moments, then spoke up to Sparrow, lifting my voice loudly enough to ensure the retreating male gryphon could still hear me. “Finally! I thought he’d never leave!”
“Go mate with a sharp rock in a bramble bush, dragon!” Blue Jay’s voice echoed down to us as he winged away.
I tilted my head, glancing down at Nesh. “Did he say…?”
Nesh laughed and shrugged, undoing the last of the straps. “I think so, yes.”
I shook myself as the last of the pouches finally came free. My hide felt oddly liberated after having so many leather straps pressed against it, chafing against my scales all day. I flopped onto my haunches, rubbing a few areas left uncomfortable. I could not recall a time I’d worn so much cargo gear for so long. Meanwhile, Nesh went to help Sparrow out of her harness. With a few buckles opened, he was able to pull it right off of her. I imagined she must have helped Blue Jay the same way. While the gryphons were able to get into and out of their gear on their own, it was easier and quicker for them to assist one another. Their squad probably spent a lot of time practicing such maneuvers for expediency.
“How’re the repairs holding up?” I joined Sparrow as she dragged her harness across the snow, next to Blue Jay’s.
“Well, so far.” She moved aside to show me the areas that were stitched together. Her human companions had used the sturdiest possible sinew threads, leather bindings and other materials to patch together the areas I’d cut and torn apart. “Doesn’t look pretty, but it’ll do until I can get it professionally patched up, or get a replacement.”
“As long as it does the job.” As Sparrow arranged her gear, I caught sight of something gold in the fading sunlight. Stylized wings were sewn into the harness in rich golden thread, positioned to show up across her shoulders when she wore it. I reached out and gently brushed my pads across one of the insignias. “These mark you as a leader among your people, yes?”
“It’s a mark of my captaincy, yes.” She spread the harness out on the snow, then reverently touched the other marking. “It’s a rank, in the Gryphon Legion. Means I’m a Flight Captain. I…” She swallowed, flattening her ears. “I worked years for this, actually. And now…” Sparrow sighed, her ears drooping. “Probably going to have it stripped from me. Granted, I’m…the captain of an exceptionally small Flight, but only because we’re a specialized unit, we’re out near the front lines, ready to act at any time. Meant to be able to react quickly, to rescue people like him, or track down…” She flicked her wing across my scales. “You know.”
“You can say they send you to kill dragons, Bird, you need not hold back.” I ran my pads against her emblem again. Given how important her position seemed to be, a hint of greatly unwanted guilt tugged at my heart. Not because I’d beaten her, but because she was trying to help me now, in her own way, and that might well cost her all she’d built her life around. I lowered my head to nose at her neck. The gryphons liked to put leftover human soaps and scented things in their morning bath, and her feathers still bore hints of flowery aromas. “Perhaps, bringing one in as an ally will nullify your failure to kill me.”
“Or get me court martialed.” Sparrow chuckled to herself, gently squeezing the emblem on her harness. “Ah, well. It was only a small flight, anyway. I’d like to think we did some good, together, nonetheless.”
“For what it’s worth,” I said, kneading at the snowy ground. I curled my tail around my hind paws. “In my limited vantage, you performed admirably. You lost, but you were up against extraordinary odds. And…” I licked my nose, grimacing. That had come out more arrogantly than I intended. “What I mean is-”
“Yes, yes, dragon, you’re very impressive.” Sparrow chirruped, swishing her tail.
“Thank you.” I bowed my head, taking her sarcasm as compliment, if only to irritate her. “But what I meant was, you were sent to try and save someone who may already be dead, and to kill a dragon who had already slain dozens of soldiers armed with firearms, and a cannon. You had to know, somewhere in that overconfident bird brain, that even for four gryphons? The odds of were not in your favor.”
Sparrow ground her beak, shifting her weight and unsheathing her claws into the snow. “Admittedly…I was nervous. Usually we rescue captives or others in danger, or extract information or items and technology. Or…or sabotage something. When we are sent to kill someone, it’s usually an enemy spy or officer. We’re not…a dragon hunting unit, specifically. You’re not the first we’ve dealt with, but…you’re the first we were supposed to go in and kill on our own.”
“You’re expendable, is what you’re saying.” Nesh came to stand just between us, his arms folded. “I don’t mean that insultingly, I mean…whoever sent you after us must have known you might not come back.”
“Well, Nesh,” I said, lowering my head to him. “You should feel honored! Some high-ranking ass was willing to throw away the lives of four gryphons just to try and save you.”
Nesh’s face crumpled and he put a hand over his belly. “I feel sick, more like.” He glanced at Sparrow, drawing his mouth into a narrow line. “And I hate to say it, but that’s not exactly what I meant. As much as I like the idea of my people going to great lengths to save anyone, they probably assumed you’d killed me. Whoever originally gave the gryphons the order to kill you, and sent their own people with them, probably didn’t care if they lived or died. If they killed you, then he wouldn’t have to worry about Melakar’s mate looking for revenge…or worse, answers.”
He scratched at his head fur. “Assuming Melakar ever let it slip he had a mate…er…former mate. And if the gryphons died?” He gently set his hand on Sparrow’s wing. “Well, he could point to that as evidence of the ‘great danger’ you posed, and use it an excuse to send in ten times more people to root you out and finish you off. Honestly, if this has anything at all to do with elements in the military trying to prevent the empress from allying with dragons, or…or whatever she may have agreed to meet with Melakar about?” Nesh gestured between Sparrow and me. “This is probably the last thing he wants.”
“Oh, good.” Sparrow gave a heavy sigh, her wings sagging at her sides. “So at least we won’t be jailed after our court martialing. We’ll just be executed to prevent us from uncovering some kind of conspiracy.”
“At least you’ll die…” I tilted her head, offering her a sweet smile. “Knowing I was right.”
“Hilarious, Dragon.” Sparrow stared down at the golden emblems on her harness. “Flight Captain Avalek…the sweetest words I ever heard, when they were first announced. Worked my whole damn career for a chance to lead my own flight. Thought I’d be leading dozens of gryphons into battle…and I ended up leading three, on missions no one will ever know about, in a squad probably marked ‘expendable’ somewhere, just like Nesh said. Hell, wouldn’t be the first human commanding officer who saw the lives as gryphons as less valuable than his humans.”
I snorted, staring out across the snow. The sun now hovered just above the horizon as an orange silver, casting ever-fading fire across the earth. “And yet, somehow I get the feeling you’re all the prouder of your gryphons for the things they have achieved.”
“I am.” Sparrow’s voice was softer now, reverent. “Ever so proud of them, of my flight, of what we’ve done. You know…” She gulped hard, splaying her ears. “It was Kraas’s flight, first. Usually, the smaller squads, those that work behind the scenes, or beyond the front lines, they’re the elites, those with special skills, special training. Kraas has all that…we all do, really. I’m trained in a variety of-”
“Yes, gryphon, we’re all very impressed.” I rumbled, nudging her with my tail, unable to resist playfully turning her words against her.
“You’d better be.” Sparrow’s voice was flat, but a hint of mischief shone behind the pride in her eyes. “I suppose it doesn’t matter what we’re trained in. Kraas had proven himself in other squads, in larger flights, and…because of his background, they thought he’d be a perfect candidate for…assembling a new sort of flight, a smaller one. Something able to move anywhere in a hurry, and do…” She waggled her fingers in the air. “Whatever had to be done. That was…years ago, really. Before his series of demotions, and my promotions.”
“And now you lead the squad he created.” Nesh rubbed his chin, looking her over. “So is that why you and he are no longer…well you know, is that what led to…”
Sparrow glared at Nesh in angry silence, her crown feathers ever so slowly rising around her head. I gently circled a foreleg around him, and pulled him out of shredding range. “Nesh, not the time. In fact, the time for such a question is never.”
“Oh…Oh!” Nesh’s face reddened as he realized what he’d been asking, and he bowed his head. “My sincerest apologies, Avalek! I…I don’t know why I’d even…I think…the dragon must be rubbing off on me.”
“Oh, no.” I shook my head. “Leave me out of this. You’ve wedged your foot firmly in your own mouth, don’t expect me to pry it free for you.”
Sparrow glared a moment longer, and then the anger left her in a sudden rush, all her feathers slicking back against her body. “It’s alright, Nesh. There…there was a time when…I think he was angry at me, for…for accepting the captaincy, when it was offered, since it had only just been stripped from him. And…for a time, a part of me…resented that he’d earned such a position in the first place, without ever working for it the way I had. But…” She swished her tail across the snow a few times. “He and I have known each other a long time, and despite our…disagreements, we’ll call them…I wouldn’t want to work with anyone else. And if you tell him that, I’ll deny it until my dying breath.”
“Good.” I stretched my neck, and rested my muzzle against her shoulder. Among dragons, it was a gesture of comfort. I hoped she would interpret it the same day. “Whatever friendship lingers between you two, whatever deeper feelings may lie shrouded behind anger, behind pride…you should share them while you can.”
Sparrow did not reply, at least not with words. She turned her head, her feathers tickling my scales. Then ever so gently, she nuzzled the top of my head, my muzzle, brushing her beak against me. There was gratitude in her gesture, a thankfulness for the comfort I offered. But there was more than that. There was a gentle, tender acknowledgement that she understood, that she knew I spoke from painful experience. I would never again have a chance to tell Melakar I still cared for him, to put my paw over his, to rest my head upon him, to sleep at his side. Eventually, I bumped my nose against her beak, and withdrew my head, thankful she understood my message.
“We may as well go and have a look in this cave,” Sparrow said, rising back to her paws.
“Agreed. You go in first.” I swung my head towards the entrance. “If I get stuck, you’ll have to pull me in by my forelegs.”
“Or let Blue Jay push your haunches through.”
“No.” I shook my head, chuckling. “He’d enjoy the view far too much.”
“True enough.” Sparrow walked to the opening, sizing it up. “Very well. I’ll go first.”
As she vanished inside, Nesh tilted his head back, staring up at me. “What the hell just happened between you two?”
I could only laugh at his confusion. Trust a human to need a verbal explanation for a moment of mutual understanding that seemed so simple to dragons and gryphons. “Friendship, I think, Nesh. Friendship.”
“A wonderful thing, Ella, if…unexpected.” Nesh put a hand against my foreleg, chuckling. “And somewhat confusing. Still, it’s heartening to see.” He patted me, and then turned towards the cavern entrance. “At least she didn’t have any trouble getting in. You, though…” Nesh knit his furry eye ridges together, looking me over. “Perhaps we should measure you first, just to be safe.”
“Nonsense,” I said, walking towards the cave. “I can fit.” Actually, I wasn’t sure I could. The opening was taller than it was wide, and while in my youth I’d been able to squeeze through, I had grown since then. I lowered my head, and pushed it inside, stepping forward till my shoulders brushed the rough stone. “Maybe not.”
“Not unless you can leave your wings behind.” Sparrow watched me from within the rounded chamber. “We may need to find another cave for the night.”
“Oh, gryphon bollocks, Nesh, this one will do fine.” I pulled back, them mentally gauged the dimensions once more. “I think I can go in sideways.”
“Sideways?” Nesh crossed his arms, glowering at me. “You’re not a sofa, Ella.”
I spared him a quick glance. “I don’t know what that word means.”
“It’s a piece of furniture. To fit it through a door, you have to…” He sighed and shook his head. “Never mind. How are you even going to do that?”
“In a very dignified manner.” I eased down onto my belly, crawling back to the opening till I could put my head and neck through. “My wings won’t fit horizontally, but vertically…” Careful, I rolled partway onto my side, then stretched my forelegs out to grasp the stone. I pulled myself forward, wriggling through the opening on my side. “I should be able to get through.”
Sparrow tilted her head, clicking her beak. “You look like a newt struggling to hatch.”
“From back here, she looks like she’s having a seizure!” Nesh’s voice followed me through the cavern opening.
“You’re both ever so helpful!” I snarled under my breath, wriggling harder. Rough, cold stone and frozen earth scratched at my scales, and scraped at my wings, but I made steady progress.
“What would you like me to do, Ella?” Nesh laughed somewhere out of sight. “Grab your haunches and push? You were just making jokes about Blue Jay enjoying the view too much!”
“You’re allowed to enjoy the view, Concubine!” I grunted, pushing myself further inside the cavern. “He isn’t!”
“Be that as it may, I fear a creature of his strength would provide far more useful assistance!” Nesh’s voice drifted a bit as he walked around my hind end. “I’m actually trying to stay out of disemboweling range while you’re flailing your hind legs about.”
“Almost…there…” With a grunt of effort, I wriggled the rest of the way through, popping free of the cavern’s entrance. I rolled to my feet and shook my wings. My wings stung where the stone had scraped up the membranes, but other than that I was. “There. Easy.”
Sparrow smiled at me, her ears perked. “You know you’re going to have to do that again every time you need to leave, and every time you return, right?”
My frills slumped. “Shit.” I settled on my haunches as Nesh followed me in. “Concubine, I shall require your assistance next time.”
Nesh walked a circle around me, inspecting my wings. “I can behind you and push a while, but I don’t think it’s going to have any effect.”
Sparrow chirped at him. “Then what good are you as her concubine?”
I rumbled laughter, letting Nesh examine my fresh scrapes. “That’s not bad, for a city bird.”
Nesh managed a chuckle. He patted my side to tell me I was cleared, then turned and shook a finger at the gryphon. “You keep that up, and you’ll be in danger of developing a sense of humor.”
“I have a sense of humor.” Sparrow preened her wing, removing a few loose feathers. “It’s just too sophisticated for a dragon, most of the time. Just seemed an appropriate moment to debase myself.” She spat another feather on the ground, then arranged several others with her beak. “And I’m not a city bird, regardless of what Kraas thinks.”
I shrugged my slightly sore wings. “If you say so.”
“There’s not a lot of room in here, for the four of us.” Nesh walked around the outer walls. “But I suppose that means it’ll hold in warmth a little better. Don’t think we can build a fire in here, though, the smoke won’t have anywhere to go. We’d all suffocate. I can light my travel lantern, though.”
I gazed around at the cavern, lit mostly by sunset’s fading fire. The chamber was much larger than it appeared from the outside, though it still did not provide a lot of room for a few dragons and a gryphon. Nesh, at least, had plenty of room to move about. The cavern was shaped a bit like an uneven egg, roughly oval shaped and with a concave ceiling highest at the center. The evening light gave the grayish walls a faintly orange shine.
Old draconic runes were cut into them in random places, names and professions of everlasting love left behind by dragons who visited the place in the youth with their lovers. Many of them were probably long dead now, others long since flown to safer parts of the world. Mixed in amidst the youthful declarations of undying affection were a few images, depictions of crude but delightful acts carved into the stone.
“Ella…” Amusement and embarrassment alike mingled in Nesh’s voice when he spotted some such images. “Did you do this?” He pointed to a simple carving depicting two dragons mating.
“Of course not, Nesh.” I snorted as if indignant, then scanned the walls for a familiar image, a simple etching of one dragon pleasuring another. I pointed to it. “I did that one.”
Nesh rolled his eyes, then laughed, shaking his head. “Of course you did.” He looked around again, eyes roaming across the old runes. “You know, that’s not all that different from humans. We do the same thing…visit secret places to carve our names in trees and stones, and do things we aren’t supposed to, with people our families might not like.”
I cocked my head, lifting my frills. “Oh? Was that the case for your first mate?”
“Well, we certainly never carved our names anywhere, but others did.” Nesh turned to jab a finger in the air at me. “And that’s all the information you’re getting about that.”
“Very well.” I certainly wasn’t going to push Nesh on anything he wasn’t comfortable discussing. “My name is here, somewhere. Over here, I think.” I padded turned around in the small cave, forcing Sparrow to move out of the way of my tail. Guided by old memories only just resurfacing, I approached a section of wall with a distinct swath of black stone. Familiar, if somewhat faded, runes lay just beneath the dark rock. I lifted my paw, brushing my pads reverently over the old sigils. “Here, it is.”
Nesh came to stand at my side. “So that’s how you spell your name in draconic?”
I nodded once, pointing to each of the four symbols as I spoke them with all the old draconic vocal accents. “Ehl-la meer-iss.”
Nesh stroked his chin, nodding. He tried to sound out the syllables the same way I did, and to his credit, came quite close. Then he reached up to put his hand near mine. “And is this Melakar’s name, under yours?”
“It is.” I spoke those sigils aloud, as well. “Mehl-lih-kar.” The name sounded almost foreign, when I spoke it slowly. “Our written language is…archaic. The pronunciations are a little different, now.”
Nesh set his hand on my foreleg, and gently stroked my scutes. His silent comfort was greatly appreciated. For a little while, I gazed at Melakar’s name. In my mind, I could still see that moment, back when we were young. We had carved each other’s names, rather than our own, as traditional once dictated. Even in his youth, he’d been a stickler for old rites. He worked so diligently to get every tiny line, angle, and curve correct in the letters of my mine. By contrast, I’d scratched his haphazardly into the stone, though I doubted Nesh or Sparrow could tell the difference. Melakar hadn’t cared at the time, but…I suddenly wished I’d taken time to put as much effort into scribing his name as he had mine.
“You two were together a long time,” Sparrow said, gazing at the wall.
“Off and on.” I glanced at the gryphon, flattening back my ears. “I knew him my whole life, though. We were born in the same year…played together as hatchlings. Explored the world together as we grew, explored each other as we matured. Found love together, then anger, then love again, on and on. But…Even when we weren’t together, I knew he was…out there. That he’d be there, if I never needed him, and that…if he ever needed me, I was there for him. Until…” I swallowed, squeezing my eyes shut in vain attempt to ward off a sudden flood of emotion. “Until I wasn’t. Until he was dying, in the snow. Without me.” I sniffed, swallowing against the hot clenching of my throat. A few tears spilled down my scales, despite my best attempts to hold them at bay. “I’ve never known a world without him. And even now, it still feels…emptier.”
“I’m sorry.” Sparrow stretched a wing to place it gently across my back. Her feathers were warm, and ever so slightly tickled my wing membranes. “I should have kept my beak shut.”
“No, that’s alright.” I quickly brushed the tears away, my voice hoarse and shaking. “I don’t mind. It’s just…his absence haunts me, sometimes. I can still see him, sitting here, scribing my name with his claws, so focused he didn’t even know his tongue was hanging out.” I parted my muzzle, and let my tongue hang over my lips for a moment, earning a soft laugh from Nesh. “Used to always make that face when he was focused. So fixed on his task, so lost in concentration, I could have flown home and he’d not have even realized I was gone till he was finished.”
Nesh rubbed the plates of my chest in a gentle circle. “That sounds exactly like him, from what I’ve heard. And…I know…I know it’ll take time, Ella, for the pain to ease. And…it will never fade completely. Anyone who tells you it will is just lying to spare your feelings. There are times I still miss my father as much as I did when I was young, when I was struggling just to make it through a day without him. Most of the time I don’t think about it, and when I do, it’s just…a familiar old ache, in my heart…” Nesh patted me, above my own heart. “Somedays, though, some old memory hits me, and it’s like a knife, in my soul. And I just want to curl up and cry. But…those same memories, somehow…somehow they make it better. Even when they remind us, of how much we miss them? They also remind us how much we loved them. How many happy times we had, together, and how much they loved us. And those happy times, they’re worth clinging, Ella, they’re worth remembering. And every time those memories make you smile, then…” Nesh sniffled, rubbing his eyes. “Then you know your loved ones might be gone from the world, but they’ll never be gone from your heart. They’ll always live on, inside you.”
I took a shaky breath, and let it out in a shuddering sigh. Nesh’s words left fresh tears dribbling down the scales of my face, and it was all I could do to stop myself from giving into them. I feared if I let myself break down crying now, I’d still be sobbing by the time Blue Jay returned. So instead, I leaned back against my tail to snatch Nesh up in a hug, squeezing him against my chest plates. He put his arms around as much of me as he could, his head pressed to myself.
“Thank you, Nesh,” I said, my voice scarcely more than a hoarse whisper. “You’re right, of course.”
“You’re…more than welcome!” Nesh’s voice wasn’t much better, ragged and wheezing. He must have overwhelmed himself with emotion, just as he’d nearly overwhelmed me. He wriggled, his boots tapping against my belly scales. “But…Ella…you’re…”
Sparrow gently tapped me with the wing still draped across my back. “You’re squishing your concubine, Dragon.”
“Oh.” I eased my grip and set him back on his feet, then wiped at my eyes with a paw. “Sorry, Nesh.”
“Quite alright.” He took a few deep breaths, rubbing his midsection. “I didn’t really need those ribs, anyway.”
I lowered my head and gently nuzzled his cheek, brushing my nose against his skin a few times. “Thank you for your words, and your comfort.” I lifted my head, turning my attention to Sparrow as she withdrew her wing. “And yours as well.”
Sparrow bowed her head to me in acknowledgement, and Nesh stroked my neck.
“You’re welcome, Ella.” He patted my scales before withdrawing his hand. “Happy to help, any time you need it.”
“I appreciate that, Nesh.” I turned away from them, careful not to buffet anyone with my tail in the small space. “I may need your help now, actually.”
“Oh?” Nesh followed me towards the narrow exit. “With what?”
“Pushing me through this hole.” I laughed as I eased myself down and over onto my side in preparation for wriggling back out. “I’m going to go find you some firewood. And given his lingering absence, I’m going to try and beat Blue Jay back.”