A little talk... (Patreon)

I promised you guys another post this week where I talk a bit more about what is going on with me and my life, more or less. It's totally fine if you don't care or want to read about those things, but my main goal was to always tell people if things are coming in the way of my work. I will try to keep this post simple and short, though, and I won't get into too much personal details.

My mental health has been pretty bad since March because of reasons I don't want to talk about publicily. It's something very private and it doesn't impact work on my games, it's something that "gets to me" when I'm not working. So not much to say there, I guess, sorry.

The other thing, which is impacting my work more than I thought, is my physical health. As I said about a month ago, I had a very scary heart and blood pressure related issue where I actually thought thats it ( I thought it was a cardiac arrest for quite a while ). After I've been to my doctor and also visited a cardiologist, it was confirmed that my heart is "okay" , that my heart muscle is bigger because of my blood pressure but that there was no cardiac arrest etc. I've gotten some new meds and I think I adjusted fine. Now it's a constant up and down, I would say. Sometimes I feel dizzy for no reason, I feel light headed and I feel like I have a fever even though my blood pressure seems normal. I decided to work out a bit every day for at least 15 to 30 minutes - Which usually means riding the bike at home or going for a walk. I'd say its gotten "better", at least I never had this feeling again that I had a month ago, but sometimes I still feel pretty bad, and I have no idea why. I'm sitting at the pc, writing something for My New Memories or My New Family and feel very uneasy out of nowhere. Sometimes it's so bad that I have to lay down, with a red head because it feels like I have a fever. I have no idea what it is but it's... Scary. Especially when this happens before I sleep, I sometimes think "I'm not going to wake up tomorrow because my heart just stops in my sleep."

Okay, this all sounds scarier than it probably is. I had 2 EKGs and a ultrasound, if my heart was in danger they probably would have told me. Maybe it's just my body having to adjust to the meds I'm taking, or it just takes a little longer for my body to adjust to me trying to be "Healthy" in general. No idea, I just hope it's temporary.

This already has been longer than I wanted it to be and I apologize for that. But my health issues are probably the reason that everything seems kinda "delayed" by now. I planned to release Chapter II of My New Memories in may - at the latest. And all I achieved so far is 60% completion of 2/3 days. I'm not trying to make up excuses here, really, but I'm actually sorry that everything seems to take longer than it used to. This is not how I used to be and I hope that with time, I can return to my "old self" in regards to work. It fucking sucks when your body is acting weird and stopping you from doing something you really enjoy - making wholesome adult games. Thanks for sticking around and being an awesome community, really. It means a lot to me that you guys are so understanding when it comes to these things.

As a little bonus, I added a very special render to this post. It's Sarah and the MC, enjoying some time in the playground, a few months after she was adopted into the family. I initially wanted this to just be a fun render, but I think this one will actually be in the game!