my little trash post (Patreon)

due to the fact that I do not have the will to live, I always try to find other motivations: debt for an apartment, promises to customers, and now there are small problems. I convinced myself that the pain in my arms would make me stronger and more dangerous, but the pain scares me again. Arises when I need to do something important ...I made a couple of bad sketches and fantasized about a new game. I do my job with hatred and expect that the interest to the game will go away, so I want to make a new game someday. I'll try to make a demo version after version 0.5I want to draw and make games, but it’s very difficult ... It hurts when I force myself to work, and when I’m full and no pain, I feel apathy and boredom towards my creativity when.I dreamed of very vulgar and beautiful drawings, but a voice in the head asks why should I draw something in which there is no pain and suffering?I didn’t fulfill the plan for the last week and will try to catch up with it and repeat the voting, but when I fulfill the plan.