bad mood (Patreon)

the month ends soon. Little new content ... my workability is small. There is no one to communicate, because no one can understand me. When I step out of my comfort zone, I have impulsive and violent thoughts that I constantly repeat.Sometimes I play my game and I really like it, but 99% of the time, drawing for me is hard labor necessary so that I have the material means to live. When I make content for myself, it seems pointless to me. Therefore, it is much more efficient when I add content at the request of patreon members. I create spoiler posts to get attention or somehow make myself work.I open patreon's page about 100 times every day. I hate the end of every month. I don't know how to buy happiness.