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Events occur after "the Unbeatable Squirrel girl" #1.

Let me know about mistakes in text.

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Orannis

Panel 1: "Aha! Squirrel Girl! I knew it!" Panel 3.1: "But where is she?" (what you have is technically correct, but it's awkward phrasing) Panel 4.2: "Let me guess, you failed?" Panel 5: "Or maybe you're not such a great hunter?"

William Ambervein

Maybe "You sent me on the hunt" instead of "You sent me to the hunt"

Spadiel

Panel 3 should say roommate.