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I've Been Depressed... ASMR Whisper Ramble (Patreon)

Published:
2024-05-08 02:14:12
Imported:
2026-06
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I've Been Depressed... ASMR Whisper Ramble

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Comments

JimmyH

Definitely happy to hear that you're doing better. Seems like we have so much in common cause I myself have been dealing with my own bout of severe depression the past several days as I'm still struggling to cope with having lost both of my parents (it's been a year and 3 months now; 9 days apart), which was a very dark time for me and now, I'll see them in dreams or see something that reminds me of them and I'll fall apart. I've been suffering from depression my whole entire life as the majority of which stems from the horrendous bullying I endured growing up (by the kids at school AND in the neighborhood), being laughed at, mocked and those kids just being really mean and downright cruel towards me and it still affects me to this present day and sometimes I'll break down and cry cause I'll see those images of myself being shut out by the other kids; not accepting me, sitting all alone at the lunch table (or approaching a group of kids only for them to all get up and move to another table), not being invited to parties, etc. when all I had ever wanted was to fit in and be part of something; something that I never got and that's another reason I've been feeling so broken lately cause my mom always dried my tears when it came to the other kids and them treating me horribly. Something else we have in common in that social anxiety; not wanting to be around people (or a LARGE group of folks), I have those same feelings, I'm not really comfortable being around large crowds (prefer a small group: no more than 3-4), I'm an introvert and I'd rather spend nice, quiet evenings at home; I have no desire to take part in parties and other get-togethers and even though I'm a gay man, I have no plans on taking part of any Pride events (given next month is Pride month), I keep everything low-key. I really have no desire to try to fit in anywhere now cause I've tried to fit in when I was younger and was turned away and I look at it as a form of self-protection; protecting myself from being hurt and rejected (happened one too many times). How I try to numb my hurt and depression, I close my eyes and meditate to my some favorite music and ASMR videos (yours, Relaxing Male ASMR & James Matthew Denton), brings me solace and comfort and it helps a lot. I also want to get back to doing my favorite hobby, which is drawing but I haven't found my way back to that yet and I sometimes feel I've lost my passion for it cause the concentration isn't there and it terrifies me cause that it my passion, there is so much joy and passion when it comes to drawing and being artistic and I'm desperately trying to find something that will lead me back down that path and once I find it, it'll help me cope with everything that I have going on. We're like kindred spirits and our paths crossed for a reason (I stumbled on some of your ASMR videos on YouTube; same with JMD & RM) cause we have similar interests and we're both dealing some depression/emotional turmoil/anxiety struggles and we're trying to overcome them best we can. Happy to hear that you're doing better and keep your head held high and your spirits lifted. You have a friend and supporter for life in me : )

Benji W

I can relate. I'm having one of those weeks where I'm just sort of crawling forward, doing the basic things to keep my life running, waiting for a time when I'll feel more powerful and joyful. Hopefully soon. In the mean time thanks for making me smile with your posts.

Danny Graham

Sorry to hear about your being depressed. I also now live alone and it can be hard to always stay upbeat. I too have anxiety and I’ve been going through some medical issues. After having some rectal bleeding I had a colonoscopy and they found a pre-cancerous growth near my anal cavity. After a biopsy my doctor told me I need surgery to have it removed. My surgery is next Tuesday and I’ll admit it’s a bit scary. My Dad had colon cancer so I guess I’m at high risk but my surgeon said it was caught early and it’s a low grade type of abnormal growth. She seems confident she can remove it all and it has a low chance of reoccurrence. I was surprised when she told me I can expect a lot of pain for several days and my recovery time is about 4 weeks. All of this sent my anxiety sky high so I’m taking medication which helps but I guess I just want to get it over with hopefully have a good outcome. Sorry for the long message but sometimes it helps to talk about stuff which I know you understand. I really hope things get better for you. I was thinking something must be up since we haven’t heard from you for a few days. I feel like you’re a good friend and I always look forward to your podcasts, videos, etc. Just know I love you and just think good thoughts.

emman rulz

I appreciate you being open with us. Sending lots of love.