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Distractions || Jrlog 1 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-05-11 07:40:22
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Found a years-old Jrlog in the back cataljrlog and thought I'd put it up here

Files

Previews only

DISTRACTIONS || Jrlog 1

Comments

Anonymous

I am at a point where it's crystal clear I am smothering my "self". I know all the reasons why. Mostly covert depression, loneliness, anxiety, and (maybe) ADHD. And self-hate and lack of self compassion coming with them. I am stuck with the story of how broken I am, resisting to making any move because it feels futile. Which is of course a lie. Reason to resist is the self I guess as you put it. Acting yourself. I think also Buddhism fucked me up a little bit on that point. It gave me the tools and reasoning to abandon my "self". My bad interpretation caused this, hundred percent but still... Anyways, acting your self in the world is an excellent message I needed to hear today. I was also reading Man's Search For Meaning recently. He was talking about reminding people their unique gifts they bring to the world as a suicide prevention in the concentration camp. What I wanna be? What do I do? What can I bring to the world? Also, whom I want to spend more time? Etc etc. Because just staying away from the screens is not enough. I need something to strive for. I think staying completely away from addictions is a bit nuanced. I am not denying our brains adapt to our addictive behaviors and engaging with behavior makes it easier to slip into old familiar dopamine fest. However, I want to believe (and actually had the experience of it) that we can still engage with our vices moderately, if the reason for engagement is not running away from an unprocessed emotion, issue, procrastination, shame etc. I am a screen addict. When I am sober, after a productive day for example, I enjoy a couple of videos and be done with it. If I am not sober (sobriety entails mental well-being for me, not just staying away from the screens), one or two video turns to watch videos until you hate yourself as you put it. On the other hand, it might be my cope, not to depart from things I genuinely dopamine-love. Oh just another quick point. There is what they call shame-cycle with addiction. In the book I am reading right now, author make comparisons to drinking salty water for thirst. Addiction brings shame, to escape from it we engage in addiction, which brings more shame. Until you bawl and go to sleep, repenting, only to rinse and repeat a few days after. Anyways, your video opened me up a little to look at myself. Couldn't help sharing here. Thank you for your art and vulnerability. Putting your face to your struggle like this takes courage.

Kyle Archung

Awesome video! Video games are weird

Sheri Boudreaux

thanks for sharing this. I deleted all social media/short form content but I just addiction swapped, now I don't even eat without a yt video in front of my face. curious about your thoughts on the systemic side of things though. personally I find it really difficult to (metaphorically) go outside when no one else is there; everyone is inside on their phone/video games/etc. sometimes the default option feels like the only option. anyway keep up the great work. I only found your channel recently but your art has shifted my perspective for the better. it is much appreciated.

Brandon Flynn

I wanted to use "destimulate" for something for a while. Not sure what yet

Anonymous

TL;DR: for those struggling with algorithmic recommendation feeds, try cutting all of them off cold turkey. No TikTok, Instagram feed, Facebook feed, YouTube etc. Manually disable all automated notifications on your phone that don't originate from you setting a reminder or doing something intentional, or an actual human trying to contact you. Uninstall all of the associated apps. It has helped with me. I have since lessened my abstaining of feeds and it has definitely taken up some more of my time again, but it isn't as suffocating as it was before. It may be time for me to shut it off cold turkey for a bit again. Also, jREG, you should look at 'playing' Disco Elysium if you haven't. It isn't really a game, so much as a voice-acted choose your own adventure graphic novel. I wouldn't call it a "visual novel" because it's not a slideshow with minimal interactivity. It's also an *actual* novel. The entire script is over 1 million words. An average playthrough will likely encounter a couple hundred thousand words, putting it on par with reading Moby Dick. It is an incredible work of art regardless of who plays it, and for you in specific, it's whole raison-d'etre is political extremism and forces the player to pick an extreme political position through dialogue options and game mechanics (you can even pick extreme centrism, but if you do so, the game will mock you with the "World's Most Laugable Centrist" game achievement, and the narrator will acknowledge you as 'boring' at best, useful idiot of the status quo at worst). Serious recommendation. Do not pass up this work of art if you can. And again, don't be too afraid of it being sold as a video game. There are game mechanics, but it is an insanely rich fiction that is 100% not a waste of time or a mindless distraction. It will have you thinking and appreciating. Long rambley journal entry that some people interested in hearing someone's personal account may find interesting: I definitely struggle with this. I have bipolar type 1, but I have changed around meds and things have been actually quite good for a long while now (~1yr). This has been the first winter in like 9 years where I haven't been deeply depressed. Last winter, I had a very low point where I saw the black hole of attention that is TikTok. I was getting sucked into it. My screentime reported by my phone was over 9 hours most days, some 13+. And looking around, every platform is trying to be TikTok; full steam ahead. IG Reels, YT shorts, whatever the hell Snapchat does (I don't use it because I'm a hopelessly out of touch 20 something). It can be quite depressing to look around at everyone you know spending so much time looking at vapid content being served by some tech company with wild financial incentives to make their life worse and be rewarded for it. I saw what was happening and decided to go cold turkey. No algorithmic feeds. No TikTok, FB feed, IG feed, YT recommendations etc. I found other things to be stimulated by that weren't harmful. I read interesting articles, had genuine conversations with friends that weren't just sending videos and images back and forth and reacting to them with emojis. Occasionally I would watch a YouTube video but with the Distraction Free YouTube browser extension to keep focused. I maybe didn't connect with family enough, but that is something I continue to struggle with as my mood shifts. When I'm up, I love interacting with my family and keeping those connections when I'm alive. When I'm mid, I want to focus on my thing and occasionally see family. When I'm down, I barely want to be here and the last thing I want to do is pretend to be normal and talk to someone who doesn't have the slightest idea what it is like to struggle with mental health. Looking back, I finished some video games and novels that I wanted to finish. Barely any films off of my watchlist, but a few. That is something funny, feeds took up so much of my time with utterly vapid stimulation with nothing to say (perhaps just meta ironic positing for absurdity sake) that it didn't leave any time for the long form meaningful 'not-a-total-distraction' media that I've wanted to pay attention to and experience. I finished a few novels that I've wanted to finish (I really struggle with reading because I read so slowly and I know that I take 3-5x more time to read a book than most so it feels terribly inefficient). The first being 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy', and then 'Dune' and 'Slaughterhouse-Five'. The first took a while, but it wasn't too long so it wasn't too bad. The other two, I made the switch to audiobooks and it has been an absolute breeze. I'm not going to shill Audible or some other fucking corporation (pirate as much as you can, search for audiobookbay), but they can be okay if you can't find a pirated copy of a book. Also, if it is a "classic" it is probably available as one of the automatically included Audible books. You know, the books you always find in bargain bins because they are soulless reprints trying to make a buck off of something that has been in the public domain longer than anyone living can even remember that the public domain was once a thing that was contributed to. Highly recommend those books by the way. I also read 'The Myth of Sisyphus' and 'The Stranger/L'etranger' by Albert Camus last year. I didn't get much out of The Stranger while I was reading it, but it has begun to make more sense. Reading The Myth of Sisyphus and its case for Absurdism while I was very depressed handed me the reigns to reject killing myself and make absolutely whatever I want from this life. Things were bad and they have gotten pretty good. Keep trying guys

Leon Romeo

the extension "Unhook" is an absolute game changer. I've been using it for probably around half a year. it clears your Youtube home page and recommended sidebar. clears all of it. no more recommended videos, you're just stuck with whatever channels you're subscribed to. there are customization settings too. I introduced it to a friend and he's never looked back either.

Nicole godzillaeyes Hall

The Elden Ring Review was one of the videos that really made me interested in the jreg channel. I wrote a paper on Internet addiction in one of my college psych classes. In 1996, when the Internet was barely a thing. But it already had its hooks in me. I thought just now "Well hey, at least the consumption wasn't so passive back then, it was all text and active conversation based." But that's just a cope.

inconspicuous

Jreg is my favorite self-help youtuber