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Bonus #200 - Confronting A Friend (Patreon)

Published:
2023-05-25 08:12:03
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Tim pays Jared Schwartz a visit in NYC after Jared 'tried to chill' opening for him in the Midwest.

Comments

Dick Olson III

Tim Dillon is the older brother we all wanted but we don't deserve

Willycole

>>>>>starts bringing up a Karen with an OF in the first 30 seconds we know this slop’s gonna be tasty

Daniel Levay

Just landed in Dublin and this will pair nicely, thank you

Jonathan

Can you and Ray do a bennigans episode at the Dubai location

Zach

Early pig gets the worm

Abdullah

Please please please Tim come to Dubai

Bryan

Thanks, Pig.

Greg Cawthorne

Lets hope the soufflé does not fall flat...

Encephalope

Holy shit Jared sounds like excitable skinny Kump

lizzie t

Good morning pigs

Bryan

Holy shit. Last week late. This week a guest? I'll butcher you Pig. I'll skin you and donate your hide to Target so they can use it in their next tuck-friendly children swimsuit.

Vladimir

this was one of the worst episodes I have ever witnessed Jared is laughing like 90% of the time like a little slut trying to impress her daddy

Ryan

Jared…FROM SUBWAY? TIM RUNNNN

Jonathan

I thought ray had the biggest speech impediment

RoutineWarthog

I had to check to see who the guest was, it sounded almost like Ben got clean and sober for a few minutes.

Spilld

I wanna kill this guy so badly

FinkelsteinShitKid

Kerryn Feehan has rare comic talent. Her delivery is as good as any, and she can improvise well too. She’s is one the better comics going in my opinion, and will only get better with more material/sets.

M

This guy sucks

Hannah

This episode had a great arc. Things started to unravel about halfway through and I didn't stop laughing till the end. Thank you.

Will Noonan

Does your cock ever feel like a burden? Lmfao the end of this episode is gold

J S

“Those guys are the funnest” Should be *most fun*

White Man

is it gay if you’re on top? seems pretty alpha to dominate another man like that

LI LOUD

The beginning was painful to listen to but the end with the “therapist” hysterical

Logan Graybill

I was at the Kansas City show - the opener was meh but I wouldn’t say he was awful

Jos

I like Jared actually

M C

This was amazing

White Man
>>109271038

unlike those instagram hoes you wouldn’t even have to pay tim to suck off the oil barons

Jorge Espinha

Jared is a bit of a moron. Motivational literature? How dumb can you be?

Jansen Moore

We seen Jared at okc the Saturday night. I was impressed. Never heard him b3fore but he had solid material

Nick

Wow what is this garbage ? This guy blows

B_n4sty

This guy sounds like he has Destiny’s cuck gamer lisp

B_n4sty

Tim, can I open for you? I guarantee I’m more funny than this fucking goofball.

Jorge Espinha

Jared is going to premiere in a bathroom near you, inside a bathtub with longitudinal cuts in his arms, sooner than later.

Werdna Nagrom

i was at the KC show & people in the crowd were completing his jokes before he was

Pedro

Good one

Jos

Jared, did you draw the fucking house?

Anthony Smith

I think the COOLEST thing about my new favorite comedian (Jare-id) is that he has clearly made a conscious decision to ape the laugh of my former favorite comedian, Bert Jk this sucked and I’m a little salty I paid and eagerly awaited it’s (any bonus episode) release.

Ani

Why is this episode a comedy mentorship?? None of us give a fuck we want some real SLOP

ZekeKnives

This guy somehow sounds like both Ben Avery and Ray Jump at different times. 😵‍💫😂

Matt
>>109280225

Did you intentionally replace an e with a 3? Why?

Daniel W

Absolute amazing episode all the people who skipped this one I feel bad for cause there's 15 minutes where I couldn't stop laughing..

Ryan Fanton

Worst episode ever?? Jared was very annoying, as was his fake yell/laugh

Jenn

Jared has Rays speech and B*ns laugh…

DentonVisual

Thin ice giggles... Thin ice.

FinkelsteinShitKid

Hopefully Jared’s therapist will remember to thank him when she’s accepting the Golden Globe for Best Original Screenplay that she’ll loosely based on his life.

Tinglewood

Does he laugh this much all the time?

Viktor John

Say crispy tuna rice 10 times fast I’ll give ya some voice over work. Ray Kump only speech impediment I wanna hear🫡

DentonVisual

Wow, Tim, hearing what you had to say about the Oklahoma City bricktown club I'm going to have to go check it out. I live in OKC. And yes, they are very slow around here you don't need to apologize. Very simple people. 😅

Joseph Mead

Are you and Ben like not on speaking terms or something. Lemon party is possibly the funniest podcast out rn turns out jace is hilarious.

Erik Madden

I will eat the slop but I will still complain about it

Lynda

Tired of hearing comics talking about comedy . Please talk about anything else other than preforming sets . It’s not funny to your audience .

Danny

Jared and Ray Kump must meet.

ED

This honest interview was more like a roast. Brilliant

Jake Wisniewski

This show sucks now. You had a good run, you fat retard. But you’re washed up

CrowFlyLow

Actually really funny ep! Usually dont like comedy talk. But jared is very endearing. Thanks tim and crew. This ep felt fresh!

Matt

Jared is Kump Jr. Have him on again!

Kieran

This was epic

I

5 dollars bro.....20 dollars.....you fat fuck you do this on the day of my daughters wedding.....*spits on ground* quacamoly fucker

Victor Dove

The piglets need more slop, give us 3 a week.

test

This show is not funny anymore

Axeking

It gives me hope that all you retards in the comments can still afford 5$/month. I think we will be ok. Be best

Paddy Greene

This guy is more Ray Kump than Ray Kump is

Cameron Miller

I like Jared, but I don’t understand how you can be a comedian and not pay attention to current events or just be minimally conscious of the news…

Ghislaine Maxwell

Jared's therapist is one of the funniest things I've heard in a while

G Schwipp

Jared killed it in NJ keep it up kid

J.Fine
>>109289881

Really? Brendan Schaub. Bobby Lee. Bert's fat ass. Clueless comedians are a dime a dozen.

loser forever

this is somehow like a more sad Ray Kump...

J.Fine
>>109287283

Weird, a homeless man on fentanyl screamed that exact same thing at me the other day. Then he smeared shit all over his face and ran away.

I
>>109287283

It was krocodile not fenty......I remember you....5 DOLLARS TIMMMMMMYYYYY BOYYYYYY....AND FOR WHAT........THESE PEOPLE??? Don't ever disrespect me like that again ....

G-Sleazy

“You have a speech impediment..”

Paul Van Natten

The therapist is named Katie Schiller - Just Google that name 🤣🤣🤣

Shaun Morlan

Stop having guests. Always the worst shows

Cameron Miller
>>109289881

I wouldn’t put Schaub in the same category as Bobby & Bert, but they’re experienced comedians who’ve honed their act by now. Just disappointed the Epstein-Bill Gates discussion was immediately shutdown because Jared doesn’t navigate to The NY Times occasionally

G-Sleazy

I’m Scott mailkinson I have Diabetes

You

Hell yeah slop

Jenn
>>109286214

Tim is humble for thinking he’s not good at roast jokes

Jenn
>>109291902

Jared is taking resources from LGBTQA+ community it’s not right

Kevtron

I like Tuna Cwispy Wice too!

Emm

Did Tim choose this guy because he sounds like Ray Kump?

Annz

Read his first book at 25?

Patrick Mietka

This is a mix of Ben and Ray except, the worst aspects from both.

hlirydzwir

Yeah, this one was not good.

Mr. Bob Dobalina

5 min in and I'm out, who gives a shit about how your guest sets went

Cristian Jimenez

Stop having guests. These are the worst episodes . Except with Yannis and Ray .

Adam

🗑️

J.Fine

It's like if Ray Kump took half of the marbles out of his mouth. But just half.

Ridge

Hershey was amazing I agree

Kevin

Im not one to hate but this might be the most boring ep ive heard

Brandon

This guy needs to give that other not funny guy his laugh back. Then shoot eachother in the head.

Handsome twink

This has been the worst 3 month stretch the show has ever seen. +200 it recovers. Money went to the pigs head.

Kippy Epstein.

So glad tim got John Leguizamo on. But his sid the sloth impression gets old quick...

Preston

Reminds me of you ripping on Ben! Keep it up Tim

J.Fine
>>109304616

It's a big part of what's been missing. Pig is sharper when there's someone there he can jokingly shit on that he knows won't take it too personally. I hate to say it, but Tim needs his own version of bababooey for this show.

Gromit ®

“Y’all tryna chill?”

essentialworker

Funny episode Tim, keep bringing people on to make content at their expense!

Cole Frawley

Tim is best when ridiculing a closeted homosexual

Cassandra V.

So what’s wrong with this guy. He is on the spectrum or just high? 🤔🤔😂

Finn

It’s about time

Lance

By far, the funniest episode of 2023

Lance
>>109302748

If you didn't like this episode, then what the fuck are you here for?

Ello

Instant classic! I can't wait to follow this genius' trajectory hahaha

David

This was pretty retarded

Devon Woodrup

meh, kinda boring not gonna lie.

Jackson

WOW!!! Jesus Christ Jared!!

Terry Garvey

There is no way anyone that has listened to a Ray ep didn't think this was a phenomenal one. Seriously bring Jared back.

Nick Palance Show

Please host a live therapy sesh with Jared and his film directing shrink.

Afib_dfib

Best ep in a while

Dead Space

I can’t Believe I still pay for this, but I do

Clinton Body Count

The people bitching have never had real problems. When you’ve kicked heroin and all your friends are dead, you just don’t bitch about the small things. I think you should all get on Fentanyl and try quitting.

Kevin
>>109302748

🚨Dick rider alert🚨 im here because he posts good episodes its just that this one sucked. Calm down😂

Daniel

He was pretty bad in KC but still got a few laughs from me so good enough for an opener.

Handsome twink
>>109314609

Love the name but brother have you considered this show the one the thing keeping from going back?

Brandon

Tim banged this idiot after this…

Nick Bryant

You should kill the new producer and just let Jared do it.

Nancy Pelosi OF

This dude Jared’s faggot reading is off the scale.

J.Fine
>>109303913

Hey look, he had books to write and film cameos to fuck up. Priorities!

J.Fine
>>109314609

Wait, you're not into bitching about small things but you're a Tim Dillon fan? It's kind of his whole schtick. This comment section must make you lose your mind, it's all we do here.

suspect#1

I wanted to listen to this but I can't listen to Jared. Stop trying to laugh after everything you say, its so forced and cringe I couldnt listen to more than 5 minutes even though Tim did most of the talking. I hope Tim is at least banging this twink

Abuelito
>>109289881

Most of the news is nonsense though, why hear another comedians takes on that when there's a whole world of real humans doing dumb things to mock?

Jim

Can’t imagine Tim having a panic attack

Bobbie Roberts

BAHAHAHAHA we are mad at you for this but I found it hilarious , draw house you dream living in , and call your mom 😂

Jeff

Jared and Ray are like two stages of a pokemon evolutionary line if that pokemon was based on a bologna sandwich

Sarah Mettin

I was at Hershey and it really was INCREDIBLE!!!

Joseph Irizarry

Irish men are good at reciting poetry. i dated a man named Sean who could recite 'The Jabberwocky' from memory while I was fucking him in the ass

Austin Atkins

Tim is a genius, he had a dumb opener that pissed him off come on the show and then made fun of him while the moron unknowingly added to the punishment

ywvn

I rarely comment/visit this section, but I had to come to the comment section and make sure everyone else thought this guy sucked… ep 200?, let down

Foley's Wedding Planner

"Jar- Jared this is a scam....this is straight up queer affirmative care"

Big John

Tim may be gay but this guy is a faggot.

Rory Bamford

Jared is definitely gayer than Tim…

jake

I need a new kump episode after this disgrace… I never comment but good god this was aids via sound waves

Emerson Powell

It does surprise me that Tim isn’t good at comedy roasts. He basically spit roasted Jared solo.

Ether

My bodega owners pops got his top blown off the other day, (wash heights) so this was a nice reprieve from it being a knife fight out there, ✊

BlackMetalDT

First book at 25, says mantras all day, therapist isn’t even a therapist…this guy is a fucking idiot.

Craig Russell
>>109314609

You’re listening to a podcast by a former addict who got clean and now spends an hour ranting about how he wants to kill a taco bell worker for getting his order wrong

HardlySpent

Two shit episodes in a row. Unsubscribing

Troglodyte Noglodyte

What could be more boring than comics talking about being comics

Draven Cruz

It seems like the guests tongue is too big for his mouth.

Colton Cryar

Hey I drive a Nissan Sentra. It’s not that bad

Anonymous

Who’s done anal?

Timo F

These past two episodes got me back

Mr. D

carnegie hall fr fr??

Austin McNiel

Is this guy talking with a mouth full of rocks?! Is there spit all over the microphone?

Cash Ketchum

Make him the producer asap you both had good chemistry

Carson Tank

Therapist/Producer is Katie Schiller. Give it a goog

Tunnelcakes

Jared’sth listhp isth stho sthexthy

John Nolan

This episode was amazing. Fully on board with new comics and shitting all over them for an hour. Please do more.

Lauren Helfrey

kc crowd was the whitest experience of my life

LoganBshredding

This show has gone to shit since Tim ran Ben off. I just cancled my subscription. My 5 bucks for Tim goes to Ben now. Lemon party rules. Thanks pig.

bailey
>>109306330

So what's wrong with this bitch. Are you stupid or just dumb? 🤔🤔😂

Riley Doogan

Enjoyed the episode w Jared. Funny stuff

Tom

If your looking to laugh, sign up for lemon 🍋 party 🎉

Katie C

God I’m so sick of comedians talking about the craft of comedy. No one wants to hear about anyone’s job.

Fred

dont kill yourself cause of better heeelp

herbius derbius

Sounds like double fisting ozempic is working well for Ray

Christian Clark

“Your friend Ray”!?!? — Ray made you!! Without Ray you’d be chopped KUMP in a bucket at the local morgue!! You’ve been riding his jowls for years Timmy, don’t forget your KUMP roots…

Taylor killpack

Jared was great! I was smiling the whole Episode.

Anonymous

The fact this fools parents were so in denial they never took him to a speech therapist is actual child abuse

lassi m

Tim is at his best when he has somebody lesser than him to shit on

Colin
>>109383430

The problem isn't that he never had a speech therapist, it's that he did have a speech therapist and his name is Ray Kump.

Jackson

He definitely drew that house

James Murray

I lasted until 11:05. Fuck this guy.

Joseph

Better than Brett

Cameron from PA

Is this the fella that opened in bensalem pa? Those openers were pure torture. In the pot

Anonymous

This episode was a real face melter.

Steven Cooper

This ended up being one of the funniest episodes in a long time

Jenn

Namaste

Jarvis

Hey Jared… ya chillin tonight?! You beautiful human, take 3 deep breaths and slowly release. Awwww nice tranquil. Now that you’ve fully exhaled…. STOP and doing anything else….Ever. 🪦 The Long Sleep - Timmy D

DHexus23D

I like this guy. I’ll still pay.

Steve

Suckssssssss

Swaggy D

This guy sounds like Stevie from eastbound and down , and I’m here for it

Benny

Tim needs a better class of friends, what a scrub that kid.

Logan Kelley

Tim, do all your friends have lisps? This guy sounds like Rays gay little brother

Anonymous

I’ve beaten off 8-11 times in the last couple days. Not feeling very well. Talk soon.

Alex Baumgartner

Not feeling well due to masturbation? Coward!

patreon isascam

I hope Tom Segway and his fart huffing wife find their way off a cliff and out of Americans lives.

OscarMike

No wonder Tim can't get any movies. One movie with one scene and can't keep his mouth shut. Regardless of bleeping it out or not, it shows producers you can't be trusted. I wish you well.

Draven Cruz

Just pre ordered Tim dillons book. Can’t wait to not get the book ever, and be told it’s coming soon. Fake business.

Anonymous
>>109479912

Nothing says get fucked like a ‘wish you well’ before teeing off with a cigar burning nearby on the tee box grass. Chafing, MH

Hayley Bashore

Guy’s an uncomfortable marriage of Sickler and Kump

☆

Are you narrating your audiobook?

Anonymous

From what I can ascertain, it’s a scratch-n-sniff pop-up book that includes stickers.

jente gees

Not sure how the comment section is more confusing than this therapy session.

Lilith
>>109371097

You haven't actually tried listening to lemon party yet have you?

Finn

This guy should probably kill himself

Tristan

lol tim's new book is $30 hard cover, most tim D price ever, ill get ebook

Ashley

Seen Tim in Grand Rapids, I'm still trying to find the comedian that opened for him, the Mexican guy who does the cocaine. Anyone know?

drew jeskey

This is the wish.com ray kump

MIZ SHEEN

“It’s going to be really hard for you if it doesn’t work out” Tim knows what a star is not

MIZ SHEEN
>>109323894

Yea this guy is so ambitious he doesn’t even have the jokes or can laugh at Tim’s jokes. I’m sensing a hack

Jorge Espinha
>>109379406

I believe the Whale's podcast is free, why don't you binge on it? Listen to it in half speed, it lasts longer and you might understand what Jabba the Kump is saying

Jorge Espinha

I’ve preordered the book. God emperor Dillon would be displeased if I didn’t commit to his sacred written word, paperback or e book are out of the question I don’t want to be targeted by his wrath. Be Best Buy the book.

Jorge Espinha
>>109291902

It’s like a fucking virus. It has spread to Portugal too. I was at the Lisbon book fair , and there they were. Androgynous fat monsters of no specific gender. Unless fat-fuck is a new gender. With their hair painted purple, pink or orange. Who would fuck these monsters?! Liberal arts rejects doing their internship in a publishing house. Jeezzzzz! I miss the flamboyant gays and the ugly lesbians, they at least have character

Josh

Holy shit this Jared guy has the most annoying laugh and it doesn’t stop.

Anonymous

Will there be an audiobook release of Tim’s new book?

Dawgz 2024
>>109642981

You’re a freak . If this was the comedy mother ships Instagram (which is free ) this twink producer would have responded using chat gpt , because it’s really not that difficult

Ashley
>>109581175

No he was a fatty boom batty from New Jersey. Asked the audience for coke. Not that guy.

Ashley
>>109581175

This guy was actually funny Latin Ben Avery. Venue wasn't large enough for Tim and Gabriel Iglesiayyah.

Anonymous

I wonder if Tim goes into detail about his first blowbang in his new book

Anonymous

One of Tim's passion projects is bullying vulnerable men with lisps. Interesting.

Collin

Nice of tim to have Ray’s autistic son on the show

Brandon W

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Corn

This guy should be the new Ben he’s hilarious and I love their banter

big_baby_bowser

"I walked out during your set" peak tim is BACK baby

Matthias Roth

Can we vote to give Jared glasses and laugh at Tim's Jokes every week?

Abby Lynne

So funny! Loved hearing Tim talk about Hershey from his perspective! Saw Tim for the first time at Hershey! Thanks for all the laughs that get me through my shitty job and saying everything I’m thinking that’s fucked up about the world out loud and making it funny. ❤️

captain.rachel

I did not like this episode, and this guy is wildly unlikeable. I want my $1.25 back, or however much of my $5 monthly subscription this was worth.

ian sonnenberg

This guy Jared is not funny… comes of cringe and kinda loserish

ian sonnenberg

I’m sorry I just have to reiterate, this Jared guy is so insanely cringe and annoying at the same time

Josh Graham

I think I would be a more successful comedian than this baboon, how the fuck do you let this booger eating retard open for you

Jorge Espinha

Thanks to Tim Dillon, my kids know who Sebastian is. I had to show them so they could get the joke.

Jake Yusko

Actually a super funny episode. More of Jared soon please. Funny dude.

Aaron

So funny! 😂 Very relatable as some friends need to be put in their place.

DAxe

This was uncomfortable to listen to. Reading through the comments I'm glad I've always skipped Tim's shows, as being around these fans must be equally uncomfortable. Thanks for reminding me to cancel my Patreon membership. Later losers.

August Rehnberg

This dudes talking about black magic, fuck this gomer fuck

nathaniel chaput

This episode was actually very funny because it had peak Tim and Ben vibes. Tim is amazing when he has someone to talk shit to.

nathaniel chaput

I actually love the Four Agreements and Jared is both an absolute fag for talking about it and very brave.

Hannah

I've listened to this five times. Thank you, both.

Anonymous
>>110260019

Exactly. Tim isn’t really correct in saying this stuff isn’t helpful for when you’re in really dark times. It’s things like faith and surrender that help you get through such times, so you don’t end up on opioids…

skyler Martini

This is my 11th listen. drop the new episode tim i can't do it anymore

bailey
>>110192990

Uncomfortable? Thanks for the goodbye you stupid crybaby faggot, we'll miss you

Dawit Zelleke

I went on instagram to get a visual of what jared looks like now I'm gonna laugh 10x harder for the 100th time this week.

RetroBlue

why does this guy sound like ray

theirishwonderjr

This mf took laughing lessons from jimmy fallon

Bruder Merkwürdigliebe

I'll forward this podcast to anyone who asks me if I know a good therapist.

David

PRODUCER OR TIM: I really don't know if you read these. What's a good book reccomendation I should read? While waiting for my copy of Death By Boomers ofcourse.

Brandon lee

don’t let jared out of his cage again

FentanylFan69
>>111811233

Try mein kampf solid read about the boomers before the boomers if you know what I mean. The original boomers

DJ Garcia

What a f****t...I mean Jared and his mumbo jumbo

marlo

“i dont wanna say their names”..

barnac

wow this has to be in the top 5 of all patreon episodes. tought the therapist thing was a bit then realised oh no this is real

Ron
>>111811233

Hey buddy are you new here? Go into the archives and start at episode 1. But I will throw you a bone: Family of Secrets by Russ Baker and The Franklin Scandal by Nick Bryant, both of whom were guests early on in the show.

Ron
>>111811233

PS the first appearance by Russ Baker is titled “Incompetence and Ruthlessness” I think it’s episode 8. The Nick Bryant one is Sex Slaves and Assassins

Ron
>>110192990

Don’t let the door hit your faggot ass on the way out! 6 years too late mother FUCKER!

isaac mijangos

This is one of the greatest episodes of all time.

HummerEV96

That therapist bit was funny.

Rob

The guests are bullshit this is the tim Dillion show stop it