Sunflower Monster (Patreon)

I have a bunch of political songs I'm working on, but I really wanted to take a break from that, so here's a kids' song instead. The inspiration was a picture posted on Facebook (which I'll have to go back and find) of a sunflower peeking over a fence as if it was checking for traps. I was the kind of kid who would play in the backyard with GI Joes (the REAL ones) and fend off invading monsters, so.

Sunflower monster wants ta be my neighbor,Sunflower monster right there by the fence,Tall and yellow and green with weird behavior,Sunflower monster doesn't make no sense.

I was in the backyard with Tigger my dog,Cleaning up after he left a poop logWhen suddenly over at the Johnsons' placeWas a big green thing with a sunflower faceHe... says... he lives here now,And he wants to be my friend,But nobody knows where the Johnsons wentAnd the noises from their basement never end....

Sunflower monster wants ta be my buddy,Sunflower monster wants ta be my pal,But I can see that the tool shed is all bloody,And no perfume can take away that smell.

So I went to my tree fort and waited all nightWith my slingshot, rocks, and a big flashlightWhen suddenly just about three fifteenThere were all kindsa monsters, tall and green,They... had... sunflower heads,And laser guns in their vines,So I ran down with my baseball batAnd whacked 'em in their spines

Sunflower monster grabbed me in his tendrils,Sunflower monster yelled right in my face,He said that they cannot be discovered,Until they assimilate the human race.

So I held my breath and waited for the end...... but nothing happened.He said "But you're my friend."And he smiled at me and set me on my feet,I said, "Where are the Johnsons?" And he said "We had to eat"....

Sunflower monster's really an invader,But he also is my bestest friend,He's gonna suck your brains out, see you later,And when they've got you all, well, that's the end.