New Song: I'm Blogging As Fast As I Can (Patreon)

Pretty self-explanatory, actually.

Fifteen years ago I started watching politics onlineThe Bush administration was bad, but the pace was fineThings were looking awful bleak, Two or three new outrages every week,We were going to hell, but could keep up with the decline.

Then Obama was elected and I thought we would get a break,But the Republican Congress said Barack could jump in the lake,Every day for eight years or so, They found a brand new way of saying no,It was tough, but we still kept up for the country’s sake.

But now the Donald’s in charge and it just won’t quit,Every hour someone says something full of shit,Whether Spicer or Sessions, Miller or Pence,Whatever leaves their mouths, it don’t make sense.I could almost accept their lies and bileIf they would just shut up for a little while,It’s not my fault, I’m blogging as fast as I can.

In the campaign, Trump would say whatever came to mind,But he apparently thought he didn’t leave a trail behind,All the contradictions and outright lies, The Mexican rapists and Russian spies,And I can’t keep up with everything that they find.

His administration thinks government really sucks,They say taxes and regulations cost too many bucks,His cabinet’s supposed to be a panacea,We’d prob’ly do better with one from Ikea,And I can’t keep track, ‘cause they’re constantly in flux.

I spend more time haunting the Daily KosThan I do watching movies and TV showsMSNBC and Crooks and LiarsKeep showing me the daily dumpster firesFor the sake of my country, I want to weep,For the sake of my sanity, I need to sleep,For the sake of my audience, I’m blogging as fast as I can.

So Trump and his lackeys made America great again,By going into government and sucking out the oxygen.His staffers say something didn’t happen,Then Donald blabs so fast, his lips are chappin’,It makes it hard to be an informed citizen.

Every time I see “breaking news” I break into a sweat,Let it please not be a nuclear war just yet,Every day is a new set of broken laws,And my carpal tunnel’s turned my hands to claws,Let me fulfill my obligation to the internet.

The whole damn country’s going south,I set my watch to Trump’s foot going in his mouth.As his speeches and tweets turn my brain to mush,I never thought I’d miss Cheney, Rove, and Bush.As we wait for the new Night of the Long Knives,If we could only reclaim our normal lives,I think I’ve got hives from blogging as fast as I can.I hope I survive blogging as fast as I can.