New Lyrics: "Kristi Noem, Again" (Patreon)

To the tune of "Stacy's Mom " by Fountains of Wayne.

Kristi Noem has lost her fuckin’ job,

Kristi Noem has lost her fuckin’ job...

Kristi Noem headed up Homeland Security (security)

But she had weird ideas of what that should be-e-e-e-e (what it should be)

Hooded thugs pulling citizens into va-a-a-a-ans (unmarked vans)

Separating families into concentration ca-a-a-a-amps (it gives me cramps)

Habeus corpus and due process she would just ignore,

Even the Republicans said kick her out the door.

Kristi Noem has lost her fuckin’ job,

She tried convincing MAGA she was their next heartthrob,

Kristi, can't you see no one wants you in D.C.?

You're a nasty racist snob, that's why you lost your fuckin’ job.

Kristi rounded up everyone who was brow-ah-ow-ah-own

Pissed off and scared everyone in tow-ah-ow-ah-own

Kristi never asks how this affects people or why

Stephen Miller says jump, Kristi says how hi-ee-i-ee-igh

And she never understood the first rule of warfare:

When someone’s taking aim at you, be sure that you're not there.

Kristi Noem has lost her fuckin’ job,

She won't get a pension, a watch, or a fob.

Kristi, can't you see you're a liability?

You’ve pissed off the whole mob, that's why you lost your fuckin’ job.

Kristi Noem has lost her fuckin’ job,

Her cosplay is bizarre, her pet care macabre,

She used to head up ICE, but now she's a sacrifice,

A useless vulgar knob, and those are your good points --

Kristi Noem has lost her fuckin’ job,

Just think of all the lives she's broken and robbed.

Kristi, your cruelty was discriminatory,

So maybe shut your gob, now that you've lost your fuckin’ job.