iTom Reborn! (Patreon)

So, I’ve had a few projects in mind for awhile. And haven’t done a thing with any of ‘em.

But today I got an idea.

I have a first song here, kind of a proof-of-concept, for what I hope amounts to a series of procedurally written musicals. I give you starting points, you give me ideas as to where things might go, and we tell a few stories together. I have three in this initial offering; if it works out, we’ll come up with a fourth one from scratch.

I should have the music in a day or two. (Anne insists it be DRAMATIC. I can do dramatic.) And this song will likely be chopped and channeled and lowered and louvred into different openings for the finished products. And I will do my absolute best to get out one song per week. (Adjust your pledges accordingly.)

Oh, if you have problems with the rhythm, it’s in 12/8 time. Like I said, music in a day or two.

Something Not Politics

Real life has been a pain in the tuchis,I’m so sick and tired of reading the news.I know on one level I don’t dare ignore it,But can’t take no more, it just gives me the blues.

So just for a moment, let’s sayWe’re not gonna do it today.

Let’s sing about something not politics,Fantastic tales, adventurous deeds,Real life is there, and we'll deal when we have to,But I think a laugh or two’s just what we need.

There’s old Granny Spider, who lives on a hilltopJust south of the Bad Woods, just north of the dell,Her magic is subtle, and sometimes perplexing,She’s nuts with her hexing -- we think she means well.

Her best friend is Hunkle, the grouchy horse trainerWho used to be someone whose ballads were sung,And his daughter Blinda, who would be a warrior,She’s not got a story or song yet, she’s young.

What should the three of them do?Should there be a dragon or two?

Let’s sing about something not politics,Witches and wizards and orcs, trolls, and elves,Passion and fashion and women of power,Not locked in a tower but saving themselves.

There’s Happy and Rhino, a frog and a beetleWho somehow became the best friends that they could,Fun-loving, friendly, and noble behavior,The self-declared saviors of Dysbiggole Wood.

Weasel and Woodpecker try to cause trouble,Nobody is sure why they are such a pain,There’s Cryptic Ray, the abstruse alligator,The butterflies pay to admire his brain.

Honker Chameleon is great at hidingExcept that his nose always gives him away,Then there’s Sir Chittery, Squirrel Knight of the Walnut,Owes Happy a life debt that he must repay.

In here there’s a story, no doubt,C’mon, people, help bring it out!

Let’s sing about something not politics,Anthropomorphically epic in scale,Chivalry, honor, occasional bunnies,It’s loud, bright, and sunny, one heck of a tale.

[bridge?]

Meet Carter Randolph, a brooding young mysticWho’s searching for things he should really not find.Weird ancient weapons and hokey religionsGave him awful visions and messed up his mind.

Obsessed with the Old Ones, he travels to librariesDistant and shrouded and really obscure,His plan’s kinda vague and his strategy’s hazy,He knows that he’s crazy and must find a cure.

Meanwhile the head of a dark ancient cult has hisEyes on some artifacts hard to observe,Owned by Jane Compton, who runs a museum,She lets no one see them, their secret’s preserved.

One artifact’s needed to summon Cthulhu, (Nyarlothotep?)They’re planning invasion and mankind’s downfall,Carter and Jane have to stop their advance,But there’s more than a chance they won’t meet up at all.

Will they fail before they begin?Who knows, might they find love and win?

Let’s sing about something not politics,Make our own legends and dreams, me and you,From mountains to villages, deserts to seashores,Just fire up your keyboards, we’ll make them come true.

Let’s sing about something not politics,So many great things of which to sing of,Heroes and villains and peasants and royalty,Courage and loyalty, friendship and love.Let’s do it with joy and see what we discov -er,Courage and loyalty, friendship and love.