New Song: "Necro Shuffle" (Patreon)

 I’m just a harmless necromancer,Okay, that isn’t quite true,But I’m in control of my immortal soul,And I pose no threat to you.

I just like playing with dead things,Maybe bringing them back for awhile,I’m a social misfit, but you’ve got to admitI’ve got my own certain style.

Oh, you noticed my legs are skeletal?Just bones, no meat or skin?Nothing else in my pants, but I still can dance...Now let my tale begin.

I was your average necro beginner,Digging up graves, looking for parts,Learning all the rules that the medical schools Leave off the anatomy charts.

One day I hit the wrong graveyard,It was thoroughly occupied,Something bit each leg, and I started to beg,I thought I was zombified.

So I ran back to my laboratory,Before my legs ran out of steam,But the rot had begun, I cut ‘em off one by one,Then passed out before I could scream.

When I come to, I was... kinda proud,I’d kept myself from bleeding out,But my legs were there, I couldn’t help but stareAs they tried to shuffle on out.

Well, I grabbed those refugees and flensed ‘em,To get rid of that zombie decay,Proceeded to dice up a few white mice,In a ritualistic way.

Da leg bone connected to da... hip bone,The other one set up too,And I was walking again, just like other men,If you ignored the damn voodoo.

So now I’m the Dancing Necro,Say hey when I come to town,I’ll astaire like Fred while I raise your dead,You can’t keep a good man down.

On top of that, I’ll kill all your rats Better than that Hamelin dude,Just a couple rodent bones  keep my two legs goin’,And keep  me in a dancin’ mood.

So if you got a zombie problem,I’ll set my kettle to boil,Just a little voodoo and that old soft shoeAnd I’ll shuffle ‘em off this mortal coil!