New Song: "Tanuki Dating Blues" (Patreon)

One of the songs I wrote for my abortive attempt at a 2018 24 Hour Comic Book Day album. Suggested by Peter Eng. Dunno if you guys have figured it out, but I really only have one basic structure and melody for a 12-bar blues, that I riff on constantly.

One day while I was walking under a waning moon

I met a Japanese dog that looked like a raccoon

Except that his, erm, junk, looked like a couple huge balloons.

Tanuki was his name, or maybe Bake-Danuki

He was looking at me funny — I said, what you want with me?

He said, you look lonely — I represent e-harmony.

He said, you’re out here walking under a waning moon,

You’re obviously in need of some intimate companionship soon

I said, I’m just getting takeout — pork fried rice & crab rangoon.

Just then a pretty lady, well, she just happened by,

She looked me up and down, I could tell I was her kinda guy

She had a bag of takeout (snfff) — tom ka gha & shrimp pad thai.

She sat down beside me, on this big convenient log,

Said, we could share our takeout in this lovely romantic fog.

But I gotta know — what’s with the balls on your dog?

I said, he’s not my doggo — he’s just standing where I’m at,

He said he works for e-harmony, wanted to get me in a chat.

Working for an online dating service — guess you need big balls for that.

Three years later, we’re married, and that raccoon dog’s still around,

And he’s still got huge testes, that crazy trash panda hound.

Takes him two days to lick himself — and you don’t wanna hear the sound.

(to the tune of "Shipoopi" by Meredith Wilson)

Tanuki, tanuki, tanuki,

The dog with massive balls

Tanuki, tanuki, tanuki

It must hurt when he falls