New Song: "You're Leaving Forever, Huzzah" (Patreon)

I wrote this awhile back, and only recently rediscovered it. It happens to be THE perfect song for when someone is leaving your place of employment -- whether by promotion, transfer, layoff, straight-up firing, or indictment. Be sure to put some oomph behind the HUZZAH!

Now here's a little ditty that it fell to me to tell,Forgive us if we're looking rather vexed -We’re gathered here today to say "Hurray!" and then “Farewell“;And so we're just a tiny bit perplexed...

You're leaving, so we had to throw a party,We're celebrating you going away,Now several hundred miles will fall between you and our smiles.Break out the favors and the Chardonnay!

There are so many reasons that we'll wish you were around,But if you’re leaving anyway, we're gonna party down.Don't let our general merriment make you rush out of townYou're leaving forever, huzzah!

Now, don't think that we haven't thought of all the things you do,Your diligent devotion to detail,We're gathered here to say goodbye and give our thanks to you,So write If you get work or thrown in jail!

You're leaving, so we'll have a celebration,Ecstatically, we'll see you to the door,We'll be raisin' a libation as you hasten 'cross the nation,We bought you stuff, 'cause who knows what's in store?

Our gladness is amazin', not a one is feeling low --We’re putting a brave face on, 'cause we don‘t want you to go....If you've got to move away, we're putting on a show,You're leaving forever --

- No one's going to be the wiser, dibs on your desk organizer __

- who knows how to work the phone? | can‘t get a frickin DlAL TONE --

- Can you tell? Have you heard? WHAT THE HELL WAS HER PASSWORD?

You’re leaving forever -- huzzah!