New Song: "Where On The Ship Is Carmen Miranda?" (Patreon)

Bluntly, I forgot I'd written this. Twenty-five years ago, for a Mystery Usenet Theater post. I found it, I laughed a lot, I realized it needed a bit of polish (and an extra verse and bridge), and so here we go. I learned a few things from this: first, I really am not a self-barbershop-quartet singer, so I cheated, leaving in a backing track and twiddling the bass. Second, the various chord sites online -- you know, where you search for a song and they tell you what chords the song has? Well, NONE of them know the actual chords to this thing. A couple came close, but not close enough. That was a whole day of listening to the original over and over and over....

(For those who do not get the references, many years ago Leslie Fish released a song called "Carmen Miranda's Ghost Is Haunting Space Station Three". This song riffs on that song.)

Well, she was an entertainer,Come from Portugal, not Spain-a,And her neck she'd always strain-a,From those baskets on her head.Now she does a ghostly rhumbaUp on Space Station NumberThree --Where on the ship is Carmen Miranda?

Straight through Customs she can hurdle,With a grapefruit in her girdle,And her coconut milk won't curdle'Cause it's fresh from the undead.She's sassy and she's curvy,And she'll save the crew from scurvy,Tell me --Where on the ship is Carmen Miranda?

She tangos with mangoes,Fandangos with tangelos,Lychee and Kiwi, Bananas, star fruit!

Well, she's tangy, sweet, and juicy,"Babaloo"s like Ricky and Lucy,Every night she lets the crew see through her,Singing them to bed.We’ve gone from a boring stationTo a Brazilian vacation,Tell me --Where on the ship is Carmen Miranda?

Why is she a spectre?Could no one protect herFrom Hannibal Lecter,Where were Sam and Dean?

Oom oom POW, shikka shikkaOom oom POW, shikka shikkaOom oom POW, shikka shikkaDEAD BUT STILL KIND OF ALIVE!

Well, we don't know why we got her,Coulda been Horse Tamer's Daughter,Or a Lamb gone to the Slaughter,Or don't push that button, Fred.But she's wild and she's pleasin',And I want more of her fresh squeezin',Tell me --Where on the ship is Carmen Miranda?Where on the ship is Carmen Miranda?