New Song: "Tucker, Tucker" (explicit lyrics) (Patreon)

Gabriel Gentile challenged me to write this, based on the first line. To the tune of "Frere Jacques" by Jean-Philippe Rameau.

If you're gonna get in trouble, get in TROUBLE, y'know?

Tucker, Tucker, candy fucker,What's with you? What's with you?Anthropomorphizing, and then fantasizingCandy. Eew! What's with you?

Tucker, Tucker, wants to puckerUp to Brown, up to Green,Sex with M&M's-zes, long as they're not men-zes,That would be wrong, you see.

Tucker, Tucker, jive-and-shucker,Racist fool, fascist tool,More than twenty years of lying hateful smears, justTake your bow tie and go.