My Bonny Sweet Annie Kills Ogres (Patreon)

One of the things that has kept me busy the past couple of years is writing a soundtrack album for Steve Jackson Games' OGRE ( http://www.sjgames.com/ogre/ ). For those of you who don't know, it's a not-exactly-post-apocalypse wargame: one side has power-armored infantry, tanks, Howitzers, G.E.V.s (Ground Effect Vehicles, i.e., armed hovercraft), and the like... and the other side has ONE unit, an immense cybertank called the OGRE. It's a fair fight....Anyway, while I've worked up a fair amount of instrumental music for this project (which should be released very soon by SJG, I'm almost done!), I decided awhile back that it needed some actual songs as well. This is one of 'em, a gentle love story. I originally wanted to make it a lilting Irish -- sorry, Oirish ballad, but realized it sounded better as Great Big Sea-ish.

Many thanks to Steve Jackson for letting me post this song here!

(Small musical quote from "Jimmy Crack Corn" [American trad].)

I’ll sing you a song of a maiden so fair,

The loveliest ever by far,

With emerald green eyes and stormy black hair

And a chain gun the size of a car.

She was lively and free, with a smile so bright,

She was all that a man could desire,

And you knew that if she had your back in a fight,

She’d set all of those bastards on fire.

Some women stay home and build families,

Some women till crops by the sea

My bonny sweet Annie kills Ogres,

That’s why she’s the woman for me.

She grew up in a town on the Rio Grande’s bank,

Where the Tex-Mex food is almost good,

She did autoduel salvage and built her own tank

With a unicorn right on the hood.

But one day a Mark Three came to visit her town,

And it flattened the rig that she’d made,

She went nuts on its bolts and she brought the thing down,

And that’s what began her crusade.

Some women make clothes and go dancing,

Some women raise livestock for food,

My bonny sweet Annie kills Ogres,

G.E.V.s too, when she’s in the mood.

So winsome and graceful, all smiles and chuckles

Unless you came off as too crass,

Then you’d get a faceful of Annie’s brass knuckles

And a needle gun shoved up yer nose,

She was all that they talked of, in tavern and town,

In barter holes and city-states.

And wherever she walked, she was met with reknown

Where she drove, she was met with locked gates.

So this is the tale of my bonny Annie,

A beautiful dangerous dame

Am I happy she’s with me? Well, you bet your fanny,

I’m proud that she’s taken my name.

And maybe one day, if you’re lucky as hell,

You can meet us out there on the plain,

And someday your grandkids will beg you to tell

Of the tank gun she fired with disdain.

Annie Tank Gun, and I don’t care,

Annie Tank Gun, and I don't care,

Annie Tank Gun, and I don't care,

Your ass is blown away.

Some women stay home and build families,

Some women till crops by the sea

My bonny sweet Annie kills Ogres,

That’s why she’s the woman for me.

My bonny sweet Annie kills Ogres,

That’s why she’s the woman for me.