New Song: "Barad-dûr" (Patreon)

ETA: Just uploaded a new version of the file. I made a really dumb mistake, which is now fixed so that the Tolkien fans don't kick my ass.

This one just hit me one day.

I remember the way that good old GandalfWould eat my foodstuffs and smoke my weed.He’d say, Frodo, when things start to unravel,Then you should travel with all due speed.But one doesn’t simply saunter into Mordor,Don’t use the front door, things will get bleak.There’s just one way to take the ring and dump it,Don’t blare a trumpet! You’ve got to sneak....Into...

Barad-dûr, Barad-dûr,Where the Nazgul dwell (beasts are fell, here’s your cell, now farewell)Barad-Dur, things are sureGonna go to --Nothing smells more fungal than to be in Cirith Ungol

Barad-dûr, guided tour,Smeagol shows the way (though each day his betray-al’s in play).We’ll endure Orcish spoor,Don’t be She-Lob’s prey.

It ain’t fair that we’re wand’ring a volcano,Smells like burnt Drano, oh god my feet.And we somehow must infiltrate his tower,Seat of his power, we can’t retreat.

But if we get inside that fiery chamber,Despite the danger, then we could win,Of course, if the Ring happens to corrupt us,Then we’ve got bupkis, let’s start again...In...

Barad-dûr, not secure,Snuck in past the Nine (Now it's time, The ring’s mine, ooh, I’m dyin)Gollum’s your saboteur,Left empty handed,The eagles have landed,We’re gonna be... just... fine!

Music: "Easy Street" by Martin Charnin & Charles Strouse, from the musical Annie