New Lyrics: "The Bums At D.T.E." (Patreon)

If you can come up with a better title, great! (To the tune of "The Banks of Sicily")

I was minding my business, relaxed as could be,

The rain on the roof was a quiet Symphony,

But the lights flickered twice, then at 8:23...

Half the damn state lost its power.

And it's Wednesday, Thursday and Friday,

And Saturday, Sunday, till Monday comes by

And it's fare thee well, all vestige of ‘lectricity,

All of south Michigan’s icing.

Some places still had power, though most did not,

Motel 6 charged three hundred for a bucket and cot,

Your coffee and tea were iced, like it or not --

And a half million fridges got emptied.

So Wednesday, Thursday and Friday,

And Saturday, Sunday, till Monday comes by

And it's fare thee well, all vestige of chronology,

All of the stove clocks are blinking.

Don't go on the roads, things are worse than with cops,

Nobody remembers how to drive four-way stops.

And ice melts from the trees, falling from their tip-tops...

And then freezes again on the roadways.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday,

And Saturday, Sunday, till Monday comes by

And it's fare thee well, all vestige of tractioning,

All of the drivers are sliding.

Now, DTE had them one hell of a year,

A billion in profits, watch it all disappear

While accountants, shareholders, and officers cheer...

And the grid keeps relentlessly aging.

Now it's March, March, two thousand twenty three

And Michigan weather plays hob with us all

And there's six more inches forecast for Friday,

While I sit here nervously waiting.