New Lyrics: "The Four Trump Indictments" (Patreon)

To the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas". Suggested by Katherine Kit Kerr.

In the first Trump indictment, the D.A. said that he

Paid hush money to Stormy.

In the second Trump indictment, the A.G said that he

Retained classified documents

And paid hush money to Stormy.

Still the second Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he

Hid those classified documents

Retained them in his house

And paid hush money to Stormy.

Still the second Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his house

In closets and a ballroom

And paid hush money to Stormy.

Still the second Trump indictment, the A.G. said he planned

Con.. spira... cy!

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his house

In closets and a ballroom

And paid hush money to Stormy.

In the third Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he

Tried to deny your vote, in a

Con.. spira... cy!

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his house

In closets and a ballroom

And paid hush money to Stormy.

Still the third Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he

Tried to defraud the country,

Tried to deny your vote, in a

Con.. spira... cy!

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his house

In a spare bedroom

And paid hush money to Stormy.

Still the third Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he

Tried to obstruct the vote count,

Which would defraud the country,

And deny your vote, in a

Con.. spira... cy!

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his house

In a spare bedroom

Oh, yeah -- do you remember Stormy?

Still the third Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he

Sent a mob of MAGAts

To obstruct the vote count,

Which would defraud the country,

And deny your vote, in a

Con.. spira... cy!

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his house

In a spare bedroom

And paid hush money to Stormy.

In the fourth Trump indictment, the A.G. said that he -- y’know what? I’ve got Trump fatigue. Let's just take these at once.

Conspired to commit forgery,

To create false documents,

Filed those false documents,

Impersonated a public officer,

Solicited violation of oath by a public officer,

Under the Georgia RICO Act

(pant, pant)

Sent a mob of MAGAts

To obstruct the vote count,

Which would defraud the country,

And deny your vote, in a

Con.. spira... cy!

Lied about hiding documents

Hidden in his frickin’ glorified country club,

In a bathroom with chandeliers...

And paid hush money to Stormy.

We’re sorry you had to touch it, Miss Daniels.