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Status Update, and Request for Feedback on Chapters 7 to 9 (Patreon)

Published:
2019-12-10 02:33:31
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hi, folks. First, some updates: I've started working on the next batch of chapters, and I hope to have them out before the end of the month, but I also need to spend a big chunk of time revising Book 1 to prep the ebook and paperback. While I'm going through Book 1 again, I'm also attempting to put together a Cast of Characters, but...it's a pretty big list. I can't make any promises yet on when it might be available.

Since Chapters 7 to 9 of Book 2 have been out for a few days now, I wanted to ask for some feedback because the original storyline I'd planned for those chapters just wasn't working out, so I had to make some last-minute changes.

If you haven't finished those chapters yet, don't read the rest of this post:

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Did the Razai and demon storylines feel too rushed? Did the demon scenes fit in naturally, or did they feel out of place? Razai's part spanned about a third of a book, but there hasn't been much foreshadowing about demons.

Once I realized that the original plan wasn't working out, it took me a while to figure out a workable replacement. Let me know your thoughts. This is the early release version of the chapters, so there's potential for further revisions before the final book is released.

Some other notes, in case you're interested: Razai was originally going to join the party in disguise and not be revealed until the end of Book 2, but (a) I couldn't think of an excuse why the disguised persona would join them or why they would allow her to, (b) Corec seriously needs to get better at that binding spell soon, because right now it's just getting repetitive, and (c) It felt like having even more scenes of Razai in disguise would be too repetitive and pointless.

Since the original plan is off the table, I'm taking the opportunity to showcase a different type of reaction to the binding spell (you'll see in Chapter 10).

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?

--Ivy

Comments

moredrowsy

Razai who? Jk. Actually, not jk. The gaps between chapters make it quite difficult to remember the characters' names. Okay, on to some real feedback. I don't think the Razai intro feels rushed. The demon storyline is fine. We already had book 2's Gods intro and by that extension, demons isn't that far out there. I think it's a VERY welcome change to plug Razai in because the begining of book two, aside from the goddess mystique, is stale. Razai feels like a fresh change. Why? Because most of book 2's beginning was talk, find another person, talk, some scuffles, talk, do some errands, talk and etc. I'll be honest. I was getting quite bored of book 2's progression and a serious lack of ANY resolution to Corec's problem. Because right now, it seems like we're gonna go find some other person to get more "talk" and I won't be surprisedd if there's another redirection afterwards. For god's sake, it's book 2 already and Corec's problem from book 1 is still largely unanswered. So I guess that answers part B. /end rant. As for the disguise, are you referring to an identity disguise or physical disguise? Because she already revealed her appearance. I don't find anything wrong with Razai's part. I'm actually quite looking forward to Razai's purpose (by extension why her father is interested in Corec). As for a cast of characters, I think it be really helpful for monthly readers. I often forget what I read a few weeks ago. Notice I don't remember the priestess or princess's names... Anyways, I hope your book 1 edits go well.

moredrowsy

Oh, another thing. With so many characters, I really hope there'll be more dialogues and interaction between them to make the characters pop out more. Otherwise, the characters feel like they become part of the background or just narrated to some secondary figure. And are you going to delve more into the elf princess assassination thingy? It was talked about but wasn't touched again.

ivyveritas

Regarding the assassination thing, remember that the group is on the opposite side of the continent from Terevas. Their most direct link is Melithar, who lost their trail after Razai knocked him out and dragged him to a temple (that was Melithar, in case anyone didn't realize it). I've been debating having a Melithar scene, or a Vilisa scene (Ellerie's sister), or at least Ellerie wondering why they haven't run into Melithar yet, but so far I haven't come up with a good place to drop any of those things in. This is meant as a long-running side story, not as something that gets resolved right away.

Kardott

I didn't mind the slow start to book 2, but it was refreshing when things started picking up. I just hope that this binding everyone doesn't continue. Because of the release type it gets hard to remember everyone and get to really know them If you add too many characters.

ivyveritas

I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to say that after this point, Corec's going to get a better handle on mastering the binding spell.