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16_56 (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-13 03:53:07
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

For this page, I included a panel I cut and replaced. I decided it wasn't dynamic enough but I'm still second guessing myself. What do you think? Which do you like better for the final panel?

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Comments

redink

i like it by its self! but i feel like its missing something

Nicole Wills

I like the panel you settled on best. Duane's "best life" face appearing here is tugging my heart strings, and also makes me think this will end very badly...

Stretch Andrews

While I perfectly understand and respect your decision to go on a short hiatus, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, HOW COULD YOU?

Rainwalker

The panel you cut seems like it would fit well after the final panel that's in the page, but otherwise there would be too much movement between the 2nd to last and the cut-final panel for it to flow. You need that transitional-movement panel where Lemuel is shown drawing his swords and Duane is only half-facing him, I think! So what you settled on does work best!

Kay

I prefer the sudden threat that the chosen panel oozes. Seeing Lem's emotionless face as he reached for the second sword is scarier than an actual charge.

Wambling Wombat

The anticipation is tangible with the new panel. Oh, hey, our wedding anniversary shares the date with your birthday. A good day to take off, says I.

SET

ITS HAPPENING!, Lem seems to see though the mask (reads about the hiatus) wait wat

Colin Suess

The image you settled on was the best. Communicates the importance of Lem while keeping the point of view more at Duane. It's a really good panel in general, not just here. Have a good break!! It's always worth the wait :D

Jeremy Ball

Agreed. The last panel in the page now shows Duane's reaction to the surprise attack (which I think was needed), rather than jumping straight to him defending. The frame in the separate image feels more like the start of the next page.

Duke BG

I like the panel that you ended up using more than the discarded – just from the Duane's positioning itself. He fully turned his back, trusting the "enemy" (from Lem's point of view). In the discarded one it doesn't feel that way. P.S. Joke's on Lemuel, even if you cut this thin creep in half – he won't stop, he'll just continue on babbling and stuff.

Danila

I feel that the old panel works great as a sort of continuation of the new one. That said, it's all but impossible to pull a sword from a scabbard on your back like this, especially if it's longer than your arm, so the old panel has at least that going for it, as far as nitpicky autists are concerned :ь

Cassie

I feel like I like the panel you went with better! It actually feels a bit more frightening and dynamic. Being able to see Lem go for his blades—and so fast!—while Duane's back is turned (and basically from Duane's POV) adds a jolt of fear in the reader. Anyway I'm losing my mind over this page thank you Ashley and I hope your brief hiatus goes well!

Herman Wu

i like the current panel better. it is more dynamic, with the action lines focused on lemuel, and duane half-turning. also, in the cut one, the top sword is perfectly straight and the bottom one is curved back. i know it's to show the swing, but it still looks off at first glance

kaitou

I'd go with the new final panel. For one, it flows better from the previous panel than the old one.

Allie V. Movement

Agree with the good folks here. The new panel is more impactful to me

Drewb

New panel not only adds some suspense, but I think it flows a lot better as well! 10/10 good artistic choice!

ZeugmaLitotes

I'll chime in favor of the new panel, and add that I love how the sword in his right hand ends up "blocking" Duane's path in the previous panel.

Taerjaga

I agree with some of the previous comments that the "old" panel showing up on its own after the "new" panel actually feels right. If I had not read your description, I would have thought it was meant to be that way, with the "old" panel as the final full-page cliffhanger image at the end of a chapter that you see in so many action comics or manga series.

Reed Copperstrand

Yes, definitely the new panel. It's good that the camera stays on Lemuel and that Duane doesn't get a chance to turn yet - it's just the split second he realizes his brother will attack and you don't know what he will do now. Great cliffhanger! I must admit I am a little confused at what point Duane recognizes Lemuel. Is it just a coincidence that he voices "Ah-de-lee" at this moment or does he know it's his brother who destroyed the canon?

Malik M.L. Williams

Also loving the new panel for all the reasons cited above. But what’s this about a hiatus? I see nothing…