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Poll

Chapter 107 - Fourth-tier Curse

  • Yes, I need a dedicated place to complain about the author 23
  • I have no idea what Discord is 20
  • I know what Discord is and I even have one, but Patreon/comments are enough for me 187
  • 2026-11-02
  • 230 votes
{'title': 'Chapter 107 - Fourth-tier Curse', 'choices': [{'text': 'Yes, I need a dedicated place to complain about the author', 'votes': 23}, {'text': 'I have no idea what Discord is', 'votes': 20}, {'text': 'I know what Discord is and I even have one, but Patreon/comments are enough for me', 'votes': 187}], 'closes_at': None, 'created_at': datetime.datetime(2026, 11, 2, 16, 27, 2, tzinfo=datetime.timezone.utc), 'description': None, 'allow_multiple': False, 'total_votes': 230}

Content

Standing on the Arena sands, a calmness enveloped Arien, a feeling that had grown scarce over the past few days.

Lately, there was always something he needed to remember, practice, prepare, or worry about. Duels were different. His opponent was right in front of him, the rules were clear, and all Arien had to do was defend himself and hit back until a golden dome appeared.

If only the rest of life were that simple...

Across from him, Hordel looked like a sprinter preparing for a race, stretching his long legs and dropping into several squats.

He was tall and lean, with reddish-brown fur, long ears, and powerful legs that looked built for speed. His narrow muzzle and amber eyes gave him a vaguely fox-like appearance.

Arien would have compared him to a fox-hare if he didn't know Beastkin considered that rude. Hordel was a Fernite, as his subspecies called themselves, and a proud citizen of the Republic.

None of that mattered right now.

What mattered was how fast he was. According to Reyna's information, Hordel could cross the distance between them in a matter of seconds.

Yesterday's spar with Will, who had been using Acceleration, had thoroughly corrected Arien's assumptions about fighting fast hybrids. With sixty or seventy feet between them, he might have buried an opponent beneath enough spells to stop the charge. Across barely forty feet, Will had crossed the distance in a few bounds, dodging Flaming Arrows, clearing or smashing through Earthen Walls, and knocking Earth Spears aside.

Arien still vividly remembered Will practically reenacting Neo from The Matrix while dodging a Flaming Whip. It had taken several attempts before Arien finally found a way to stop him during those critical first seconds.

The trumpet blared.

Arien began casting immediately as Hordel surged forward, his outline blurring with speed.

Come on, little fox.

Hordel opened with a Blade of Wind, but Arien ignored it and trusted his Mana Shield to absorb the attack. Raw spell power wasn't Hordel's strength. Instead, he filled the space in front of himself with half-formed Earthen Walls and jagged projections. They weren't meant to stop Hordel, only force him to slow down or change direction.

It worked.

Hordel was forced to leap across the improvised barricade, proving that alongside his speed, he possessed exceptional balance.

A Fire Ring roughly ten feet across formed around Arien, its heat pressing against him even through his defenses.

That wasn't meant to stop Hordel either.

As the Beastkin cleared the final obstacle and lunged toward him, Arien raised another Earthen Wall, roughly six feet high and sixteen feet wide.

It was too slow.

Hordel slipped past before the wall fully formed and struck Arien's Magic Shield with his claws. The impact jolted through the spell and up Arien's arms, tearing away far more mana than he liked.

Well, I hadn't planned on making this a long fight anyway.

Arien drew his mana back from the Fire Ring and formed two large Fireballs.

Hordel smiled.

We'll see.

Arien launched them one after the other. Hordel sidestepped the first and ducked beneath the second, both missing him by inches.

Then Arien activated the effect.

Fire Bomb was slow, imprecise, and practically useless in a duel fought across open ground, since most of the explosion simply spread outward. A large wall blocking one side changed that considerably. Especially with Pyromaniac amplifying the blast.

The explosion burst outward, but the Earthen Wall Hordel had just slipped past blocked much of it on one side, forcing more of the pressure and heat back toward him. Arien hadn't poured nearly as much mana into the spell as he had against Neile. He hadn't had the time, and he hadn't needed to.

Hordel relied on speed, and maintaining a shield while moving at full pace was still beyond students at their level. With the Earthen Wall behind him and fire erupting from that direction, he had nowhere safe to dodge.

Hordel spun around and conjured a Mana Shield just in time to withstand the blast, but the impact left it visibly weakened.

Arien’s Flaming Whip struck before Hordel could start moving again. At this distance, the Beastkin had no room to evade it, and his protective amulet activated on impact.

The duel was over.

It was Arien's shortest fight so far, yet he felt as though he'd just sprinted several miles. His muscles were already starting to cramp, and his hands and forearms burned with the strain of forcing out so much mana so quickly.

Even deeper inside, he could feel the same unpleasant heat spreading through his body.

Still, he'd done it.

He had reached the Seventh Division one day before the end of the month, guaranteeing him ten points when the new month began.

He thanked Hordel for the match, though the Beastkin still looked as though he wasn't entirely sure what had happened. By then, a respectable crowd had gathered around the field, including several students from the upper years.

Arien noticed more than a few eyes following him as he left the Arena, but his thoughts had already moved on to what kind of reward he should buy himself.

Maybe it's finally time for some mana crystals.

Arien entered the Infirmary and, as usual, glanced at the people waiting on the wooden benches. Peasants sat beside merchants and nobles. Here, everyone was equal. They belonged to a single class: the sick. At this hour, only a handful remained, hoping a place would still open for them.

On his way in, he exchanged a few words with Limmeth, the student from House of Quill, who was sitting behind a tall desk. From what he managed to glimpse, she was doing homework for one of her classes. She informed him that the day had been fairly quiet and that no particularly interesting illnesses had been admitted.

Afterward, he knocked lightly on a door: two quick knocks, one slow, three quick. He had arranged that code with the guards stationed there long ago. It let them know that a friend was coming and that there was no need to use the artifact to determine who was on the other side. The device was useful, but reconfiguring it afterward took fifteen minutes, a task both Ulf and Roth hated.

Roth let him through with a nod. The familiar smell of herbs and disinfectant greeted Arien immediately.

After four years, the Infirmary had become almost a second home. He knew its layout and recognized nearly every healer, student, and trainee working there.

Today really was quiet. Healers Sten and Uwa were flirting while pretending to prepare a potion, several students gossiped while rolling bandages, and the nurses hurried around while ignoring questions from passing patients.

"Hey, Jolly," he said to one of the women dressed in a yellow apron and cap. "I assume Ferien's already gone?"

The woman smiled warmly and walked over at a leisurely pace, as if whatever urgent task she had been rushing toward wasn't actually that important.

“Arien. Good to see you. Your face always improves my mood. Ferien left about an hour ago, thankfully. Ever since she took over the Blue Ward, even the patients seem more eager to leave than usual.”

"In that case, I guess she's doing a good job," Arien replied with a laugh. "Aren't you always complaining that there are too many patients?"

"Thanks to her 'improvements,' we admit even more patients than before," the woman grumbled. "It's a shame that the increased workload didn't come with increased pay."

Arien knew that the Academy paid its nurses fairly well. Despite their inability to use mana, they were invaluable when it came to caring for patients, but life in Wayhold wasn't cheap. Many of them frequently threatened to quit during private conversations. None ever actually did.

“Don't count on me,” he warned her. “Remember what happened the last time I tried talking to Lamaral about Ferien.”

“I know, I know. Still, we appreciate the effort. Master Lamaral is waiting for you in one of the rooms in the Red Ward.”

Arien thanked the woman and headed toward the neighboring ward. The Infirmary was divided into four categories:

The Blue Ward handled patients who could usually be treated quickly, often without staying overnight. The Yellow Ward housed those requiring several days of care.

The Red Ward consisted of private rooms for serious cases requiring prolonged treatment or constant observation. Most patients there were wealthy enough to cover expensive potions and materials themselves, though unusual cases occasionally earned commoners a place as well.

Then there was the Black Ward, accessible to only a handful of Healers and staff. Countless rumors surrounded it, including stories about experiments being conducted on living people. It had taken Arien an entire year to gather the courage to ask the Mistress about it. 

She had explained that beneath the Infirmary were housed not only rare cases but also conditions dangerous to anyone nearby: diseases, curses, possessions, and forms of madness that could spread to others.

Arien crossed the Yellow Ward, greeting both patients and familiar staff members while wondering why Lamaral had summoned him upstairs. Normally, he spent his time in the Yellow Ward observing or assisting Healers during treatments.

He raced up the stairs, taking several steps at a time, and emerged into a long corridor covered by a soft carpet. Leslie stood guard there, his primary duty being to ensure that no patient from downstairs accidentally wandered upstairs and vice versa.

“Room seven,” he muttered when he saw him, without pausing in his enthusiastic attempt to pick his repeatedly broken nose clean.

Arien merely nodded and walked past him. After passing several closed doors, he finally arrived at number seven. He knocked lightly and entered.

The room was one of the smaller ones, consisting of a single chamber with a narrow bed, a heavy wardrobe of pale wood, and a small table holding a clay basin for morning washing. Apart from two potted plants, that was all the furniture.

A middle-aged man lay in the bed, watching Lamaral nervously as she worked beside him with her eyes closed.

Arien identified him as an Explorer almost immediately. A great bow and quiver leaned against the wall beside an enormous backpack, heavy boots, and a weather-beaten cloak that had clearly seen better days. The modest room fit as well; wealthier patients often occupied suites with sitting rooms and private baths.

"Arien, come in and observe," the Master ordered without opening her eyes.

He knew her well enough not to ask unnecessary questions. Arien stepped closer and focused on her magic. After years of watching Lamaral work, he'd stopped comparing his own skill to hers. He had no intention of dedicating his entire life to Healing, and even if he had, reaching her level would probably take decades.

There was only one Lamaral for a reason.

Streams of mana flowed into the man's body. To Arien's senses, a black fog seemed to have seeped through his flesh, gathering most heavily around his chest and abdomen. It clung stubbornly to several mana pathways, trying to hold its ground whenever Lamaral's spell reached it, only to be pushed back with ease.

A curse.

A fairly powerful one, too, and judging by how deeply it had spread, it had been active for quite some time. No wonder the man looked scared.

"Well?" the woman asked.

"A curse. Third-tier, maybe even fourth-tier. It's been active for six to nine weeks. The source was probably a monster. A wraith? Maybe a ghoul? If untreated, it should kill the host within a few weeks."

He tried to sound confident, although in truth much of it was guesswork.

"Arien, with diagnoses like that, you'll kill half your patients before you stumble upon the correct treatment," the Master said dryly.

She did not sound angry. He knew very well what she sounded like when she was angry.

"Uh, I can—" the man began.

"Silence," Lamaral interrupted. "I already told you: speak only when addressed." Then she turned her attention back to Arien. "Look at my weave. Can you replicate it?"

Arien focused on her mana and observed it for a long time.

He didn't rush.

If he threw himself into the task without proper preparation, that was when Lamaral would truly become angry. Curse-cleansing spells were complicated, and the higher the curse's level, the worse it became. So far, he had treated several patients suffering from first- and second-level curses.

This was something new.

Finally, he released his own mana and began working beside his Mentor.

After a while, Lamaral withdrew most of her spell, leaving only a few delicate threads of mana to correct the less precise knots in Arien's weave. Even after years of watching her, that level of control still seemed absurd.

A couple of minutes later, his spell activated and his Life magic began interacting with the curse, dispersing it piece by piece. At this pace, he doubted he would finish before his allotted time ran out.

"Good. Will you be able to maintain it?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied truthfully.

The spell was complicated, and he probably wouldn't have been able to recreate it without her assistance, but now that it was functioning, maintaining it required almost no concentration.

"Good. Let's step outside for a moment."

She headed toward the door, completely ignoring the patient, who looked as though he wanted to ask something but lacked the courage.

They stepped into the corridor. Arien closed the door behind them while continuing to maintain the spell. If he moved much farther away, the connection would begin to weaken and eventually break.

"Ugh. What a chatterbox," Lamaral sighed, stretching.

Arien immediately lowered his eyes modestly. For some reason, maintaining the spell suddenly seemed harder.

"I can't stand Explorers. But at least you got lucky. Normally I wouldn't allow you to handle a curse of this level. But another few hours and I would have killed him myself."

"He didn't seem that bad," Arien said cautiously.

"That's because I finally threatened to hand him over to the temple if he didn't shut up. I think he believed I was some young girl who needed to be told how to treat a curse of this level."

"Master is still a young woman," Arien replied without hesitation. "And an extraordinarily beautiful one at that, which can easily mislead less enlightened people.”

Lamaral enjoyed being flattered. Of course, only when they were alone and only at the appropriate moments.

"And that Explorer must be from some truly backwater province if he's never heard of Lamaral Hetwin."

He genuinely couldn't believe that the man lying in the next room had tried to tell Lamaral how she should treat him. How could he not know who she was? True, Arien himself hadn't known before arriving at the Academy, but he had been a child growing up in a remote rural village. An Explorer who looked like a seasoned veteran ought to know better.

“Oh, Arien, stop.” She covered her mouth, though the smile was already obvious. “In a few years, you'll grow into a fine young man. You'll meet beautiful girls your own age and forget all about an old woman like me.”

Arien would have to be insane for that to happen.

In four years, Lamaral hadn't changed in the slightest and remained one of the most beautiful women he had seen in either world. Sometimes he suspected that simply learning not to stare at her during lessons had earned him several levels in Unshakable Mind.

"Never," he declared firmly. "But I don't think I'll be able to break the curse within two hours. Honestly, even a whole day seems too short."

"You're right. But don't worry, we won't be rushing with Mister Trothson. His curse was originally third-level. It only advanced to the fourth level because it went untreated. There's no danger of a sudden escalation, and his Endurance is high enough that it won't kill him before treatment is complete." She smiled slightly. "This will be your new project for the next several lessons. I'll also send Sten to assist from time to time. Happy?"

"Thank you, Master," Arien replied sincerely.

The opportunity to treat a fourth-level curse was genuinely rare. Moreover, it didn't require nearly as much mana as working in the Blue Ward, which meant he would still have plenty left for his extra lessons with Vizimir.

"I'll come back in two hours to see how you've done."

Despite spending the weekend with family, I still managed to write two longer chapters for Book 3. I hope you'll enjoy the more esoteric topics related to the Death and Spirit Aspects!

Oh, and one important question.

Would you like EoN to have its own Discord server?

Comments

BrandyLeeT

sooo does Lamaral know about his lessons with Vizimir?

Alexikon

Somehow I have a bad feeling about the curse. especially after reading that it suddenly acted up. Maybe this is a lesson/test from his master. That will set him back/teach him/to remind him to not get complacent.

Gerk

In one section in the middle, you called Lamaral Lamar. Looks like a typo

Morog T Tiny

I personally prefer the communications to happen here. I don't like discord.

Darcyspride

I wannna know her thoughtsss

Zeke

The thing with Lamaral is so intensely awkward. I get why it makes sense from Arien's perspective, but as far as she's concerned, they met when he was 8 years old. He like 13-14 now? I don't see a way to keep highlighting his infatuation with her that won't be awkward and creepy in some direction.

Doorda

Things I've thought of that could go wrong... He'll need to have properly memorized the weave to reinstate it next session. Someone could copy his knock pattern. Showing why they have that artifact. Curse is people jumping and should have been in black ward. Reason for jump is higher exposure to more people as it uses energy reserves of those around. I think Lamaral is very careful about the amount of mana she makes him use as she sees enough students with toxic backlash from overuse of potions. She'll try and challenge him in other ways - I'm sure she's already heard about his extra lessons and maybe this is her pushing him further.

dxpt12

I think managing a discord server might be a lot of work depending on the size of the discord. You’d have to come up with rules, assign mods, deal with drama etc all of which can take away time. I once volunteered to help out another author when he asked me and noped out after a couple of months because it was way more work than I thought it would be. You mentioned in a previous post that along with not wanting to give spoilers one of the reasons you decided to stop being active in the comments was so you could focus on the story. So if you are going to create a server just know that depending on the size, you might have to spend a good bit of time on it that could take away time from the story.

Bereftreader

Bro, you cannot be making me misread the beastkin race as Fortnite

EvilKing

Isn't this quite normal tho, though? A teenage boy not having a crush on his beautiful master would be more unrealistic. Also, it looks like their relationship feels normal, with just some flattery from him.

Yozora

she knows about his vitality

Yozora

yh, fairly normal

Zeke

I'm sorry, but no. It would be fine if the story didn't go out of it's way to show that she's receptive to his flattery as long as its clandestine, and directly acknowledges the crush for what it is. "Lamaral enjoyed being flattered. Of course, only when they were alone and only at the appropriate moments." There is NO reason for this to be in the story if it's depicting a normal, awkward, one-way crush from a child onto their teacher.

PJ

Thanks for the chapter !

Ben

They may be 13 but I thought the years are longer so he would be the equivalent of 16. Wasn’t that brought up at the start of book 3?

Gerk

I read it as Fortnite and thought ‘that’s odd, but whatever’ and didn’t realize I even misread it until I saw this comment. Yeah. Recommend making it something else.

dxpt12

I interpreted it as her just thinking of it as a cute/innocent compliment as opposed to something inappropriate.

Yozora

not only that, she said that when he get older, he would forget her, so for her, this is just a boy with a cute crush

Xander

Thank you for the chapter!

Doorda

She does. I wonder if it will summon a banshee or something like that.

Zeke

Her saying that means she explicitly knows the nature of the crush he has on her. Which would be whatever, but then why would she be receptive to the flattery only when they're alone? What does it mean to have a problem with something only when other people know about it? What does it mean to want to hide it? Why would it be necessary to hide if it was innocent? I'm not even stretching here. It's the explicit text of the story. You have to stretch to interpret it a different way. If this was a story from the perspective of a 16-year-old girl talking to a 50-year-old man, would you still be insisting there was nothing weird about him liking to be complimented, but only in private?

Jeremy Patrick

From what I remember he started complimenting how beautiful she was very early one when first meeting her I think. When HE was like 8 lol. And its not like she is inviting him to give her a back rub or something. AND even if she did at this point would it even violate any local laws? What's the age of consent in their kingdom? lol. If it weirds ya out then thats that. But I for one am not bothered. Even if it was flipped and the MC was a girl. Wouldnt be bothered. Its a fictional story in a fictional world with fictional rules and customs. No reason to get bent out of shape over it.

Zeke

I mean, what you just said was creepier than anything going on in the fictional story because you're presumably a real dude talking about age of consent laws in reference to a child. Is the law the only reason to find it creepy? If age of consent laws were eliminated, would all ages suddenly be fine because it wasn't illegal? I wish this kind of disturbing attitude wasn't so prevalent, because it's unbelievably gross. My problem here is that the story makes it explicit that she is aware of and hiding the nature of their interactions. That's really weird, because nothing would change in the story if that passage wasn't in there. It wasn't an issue when it felt like clunky writing around an awkward one-way crush, but then the writer put a passage in the story which explicitly makes it clear that it isn't just that. That's why I phrased what I said the way I did, because I understand as a writer how you can caught up in the perspective of the character and forget what the same thing looks like from another character's perspective. I could get having the creepy situation creep in on accident. But the writer wants the reader to know it isn't an accident, so what else is there to take away from the literal text of the story?

David Burchfield

My take is that you have a high school kid with a crush on his preternaturally beautiful teacher. She is probably used to the comments(in general from a variety of people) and since his are generally tame/complementary it just comes across as cute but childish to her.

Zeke

If you ignore what's weird about it, it's not weird. I agree. I'm kinda over raising my eyebrows at it after the guy came in with "How do you know it's not legal in this world and thus totally fine and not weird at all?", though. I've got a bunch of people disagreeing with my, I believe, very straightforward impression of the writing, and then that guy who's apparently only bothered by things that are noted to be illegal in the fiction. Lol.

dragonsFire

Would I join a discord, yes. Would I complain? Probably not... That takes effort my overworked brain is unwilling to summon.

Daniel McConville

I do not find the relationship either inappropriate or 'too focused upon'. I do think this story greatly struggles with inner voice/voice of each character and leaves way WAY too much room for readers to project/interpret characters in many ways. I personally read his Master as a bit of a gag character. Instead of the grumpy old mentor character like the 'mad mage', she is a healing genius who unfortunately is also a peerless jade beauty. Instead of a battle of wits to extract nuggets of 'wisdom', he has to fight his own hormones, puberty, innocent crush. She seems very aware and used to it, multiple times gentle letting him know he will find someone ESLE, LATER ON, WHEN HE IS OLDER while also not offended or letting it be too awkward. Both seem to recognize the other knows and is aware and have a kind of unspoken agreement of how their interactions/learning works. I think the stories biggest crime is we have so many characters that are barely outlines of who they could be. We never focus on anyone, not even our MC, often enough to sink into them as a person or truly experience the world and people external to them properly. Just as any chapter begins to go anywhere at all it is cut short as a personal writing style of the author. Then another random plot thread is yanked on, or we jump to the next 'writing bullet point' in the authors outline. The author seems to have a very odd balance of outline vs gardening writing style and holy shit its fucking jarring. We spend chapters focusing on the oddest things, then skip over entire years of interesting things. We start doing any kind of character development and the author seems to become terrified of character growth and runs the other way. I feel like our author is trapped in a room, with a cyclone of random outline papers they snatch out of the air, then are given 30 seconds to rapidly write a chapter or they will die immediately. Then that paper burns up and they have to grab the next one. The story must advance or they will be murdered, or they are writing the entire story by rolling dice, or doing a heap of drugs. Probably not the drugs, it lacks of fairy-tale, alice in wonderland dream feeling, but still.

David Burchfield

Seen similar things where it created unneeded work and stress for an author. Unless it is something you just feed on (energy and motivation wise) I would rather you put all your focus towards more important things (like writing more chapters.). I wouldn't be at all averse if someone wanted to start a fan discord or the like.

David Burchfield

To address some of your comments in the replies directly Zeke. I think reasonable people can interpret things differently, writing normally invites a certain level of projection (we have to fill in a lot of the blanks, body language, visuals, tone, ect) and we normally do this based on our read of the situation, interpretation of the writing, and tone/setting/conventions of the story thus far. I get that it could feel creepy to you and other people, but I also don't think your read is the only one or the only valid one and it is perfectly reasonable for a lot of people to interpret it differently as well. Just my two cents.

Zeke

I think the structural problems you're highlighting are largely a consequence of a lot of AI involvement, tbh. The whole thing lacks cohesion and consistency in the way that happens with context rot. Particularly the character inconsistencies, like Will's and Arien's characters essentially swapping places after Will had been out of the story for a while. There's also a severe lack of meaningful payoff throughout the story, which you can get with AI's sitcom-style writing proclivities where it's loathe to do anything that changes the status quo too much. There's a lot of other weirdness too, but it's impossible to tell whether it's poor writing quality or AI-gen. Like every time a character verbally tells a story, instead of sounding like dialogue, it's written as the author normally writes, but just in quotes now. All that said, the reality is that we can't really tell anymore what was written by AI and what the author did themselves, but it's not like the author is shy about AI use otherwise, so I really do think the story's issues are largely stemming from that. I just don't think the author has the ability to identify and fix these things themselves, and I think that's why the story feels almost nothing like how it started.

Zeke

At no point did I say that my interpretation was the only valid one. But if you're going to disagree with the specific thing I said was explicit in the text, then what exactly is your alternative read of Lamaral allowing the flattery, but only in private? Why only in private?

David Burchfield

Sure. So here is the context I am operating from. 1. Lamaral is supernaturally beautiful (probably I side effect of high vitality, and perhaps some other things). 2. She is idolized by many of the students who are studying to be healers or otherwise work in the hospital. It is implied in previous chapters that several of them have crushes on her. 3. Her first talk with Arien she cautions him about letting power and adoration go to his head with how grateful people tend to be about receiving healing. My Assumptions that follow from that. 4. She gets complements and hit on a lot and due to her age and station has gotten pretty jaded about it. 5. These can very from children staring transfixed in an innocent manner at her beauty to pretty unsavory things. 6. She still sees Arien as a Child (remember her age and the circumstances that she met him in, she doesn't know he got isekaied). So my read on the situation is that she still views his complements as a crush and natural outgrowth of his childlike original fixation on her when he couldn't help but comment about how beautiful she was and doesn't really mind it, and may even excuse it as her own fault (for her stats, perhaps she has some subtle mind power as well meant to give her a better bedside manner than also contributes). She won't tolerate it in front of other people because she doesn't want to encourage other people especially the less savory ones. However it doesn't really bother her because of the aforementioned points so she doesn't see it as worth the effort of shutting down hard in private (even though he is still insistent on him growing out of it, and seems to keep things professional). Basically she views it as harmless, flattering, and not worth the effort to stop unless it has wider implications, and she does in fact tell him effectively not to, just not with enough force to make (which leads to his interpretation of things). So that was basically my train of thought when I read the chapter.

Zeke

I think my disconnect here is less about actually thinking the character is romantically interested in a child and more about trying to figure out what the author's intent actually was given what's written, because it comes off very strangely. It's easy to rewrite a story and fill in blanks mentally as you're reading it, but what's actually written down is what I'm focused on. I actually have second-guessed myself on this a lot because of the responses I got, so I've shown the passage to a handful (4) of people. I asked them to read the passage without more context from the story, then asked them what they thought about it, then asked them how old they thought Lamaral and Arien were. Every one of them had a similar reaction when I told them that Arien is at most 16ish, which was some variation of immediate disgust. Two of them made the same comparison to the worst aspects of bad anime. Now, that can only mean so much, but I think it's enough to say that I'm not having a completely aberrant reaction to what's been written. It comes across as a very creepy situation, and the main reason it's fine is the immediate assumption that the author's intent was different than the impression the writing leaves. At least for me and some non-negligible percentage of other readers.