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Episode 255: True Rules for Life (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-26 21:36:45
Edited:
2024-10-11 00:15:59
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

We gather around the motel bed at the tail end of tour and talk about some of the TrueAnon tips and rules we’ve doled out over the years—and do a groundbreaking a capella mashup of Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song and Kashmir. Thanks to everyone who came to the Year of the Smile :)

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Comments

loafman

i fainted at a phish show after ripping a joint

Peanut Horse

I had some dude flat out faint while standing right after ripping a juul a few years ago at college

Sarah Bee

Liz, the Luanne quote was perfect and totally lost on Brace. I appreciated it.

Lola Lalia

And packing your dirty underwear as the top layer above contraband deters further inspection by the TSA czars

CJ

Fucked up that I can’t make it, my shit box car can NOT get from sac to sf BUT I hope everyone had a great time :)

Max

Dribblin Balls when

Buster Malino

That was big of you to come out against women being able to propose. We love you Brace & Liz❤️

canyon

ah hell yeah the 2^8-1 episode

Cyrus

Year of the smile was incredible! Thanks to the three of you! But to Brace specifically, it was amazing meeting you!! I was too starstruck when we met you after the show to tell you you’re my neurodivergent hero. -Anya and Cyrus (your neurodivergent fans)

Olivia Treynor

i did pass out this morning though so the show had a durable influence on me

Shane

It rocked. Smiled the whole time :)

Pelican Grief

Havana syndrome is hitting trueanon shows

Clark D'Agostino

Dabs lower your blood sugar, big dick ballers can use this to skimp on insulin but it will also make u pass out

The Cheerful Comrade

We're getting ready to head out from Modesto to see the show tonight

Edwin Webster

Y’all seriously need an aviation consultant. I’ll do it

MoriBones

Thank you guys for putting on such a great show! It already feels like forever ago that I went to the show in Chicago

pepto_azymuth

Depleted uranium is so irradiated. That apparently having the ammo in your tank for an hour is like Having 10 chest xrays

Doug Cartel

Helicopters are already unstable platforms inherently, literally all it takes to murder someone is to throw some sand in the gas tank

Jamie Gray

someone needs to outline these

Arid

NK basically has already beaten the US in the arms race, and the US can't do anything about it anymore besides accept it

SHEEBCORE

timing went like this last night: -yung chomsky started about 9:05, played some tracks until about 9:30 (somebody fainted partway through right next to me, didn't see them vaping) -liz and brace come on stage right before 10 -they riff for a good while. by the time my legs were about to give out they finally start getting to some meat and potatoes, and that was after 1030 so really, you dont need to show up at the "start time", and get ready to stand for a good while.

Boris Apple

i saw someone pass out AT bowery ballroom for a different show a couple days before your show

Zzz

Good job last night. Liz seemed hella over it though lol too many shows

Chris

You guys are like "the Havana syndrome isn't real" and now a bunch of people are fainting at your show. Idk what to think

Seth Aronovich

I'm 100% fine with the DPRK having a nuclear arsenal. When the hero Imran Khan seizes back power from the American-lovers, Pakistan as well.

Chris

I got covid at the Chicago show :(

Miss Lourdes

I rip my pen so much i only hit blinkers and charge my pen once a day sometimes…. Some people are WUSSIES

Miss Lourdes

Theyre gaslighting the stoner demographic in a micro psyop

Chris

I'm gaslighting my joint rn baby

Olivia Roche

I will be blacked out on fireball at the Denver show

turbinity

Trump’s primary reason to not use twitter is that he’d have to thank Elon for reinstating him and buddy up to him, and he knows a loser when he sees it

Mitch

"Jerry, will you wake up to reality? It's a military thing."

Seth Aronovich

The only time I've ridden in a helicopter was with a pilot who left the door off so h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶l̶a̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ fight through the hangover he was constantly experiencing if he hadn't had a hair of the dog. Great pilot, perfectly safe, gave plenty of clearance flying over trees and through valleys.

Seth Aronovich

God bless the Kim dynasty. Humanity will never forget the US bombing 90% of civilian homes in cities in the DPRK into bloody dust.

mckinley faas

is the weed pen thing a bit? like how do you not understand how a weed pen works liz brace uses a juul?!?

mexicanhalloween .

obviously the fainting is from the heart-attack gun malfunctioning due to the combination of long covid, havana syndrome, and, of course, weed too strong

c

i’m gen z/millennial cusp & go to a fair amount of live music these days and i will say the fainting thing happens pretty regularly

Raconteur Rogers

Never understood the weed pen thing. Why would I smoke juice when the flower is right there?

Playdoh

"Nuclear" weapon is a SIGNIFICANT distinction. Depleted Uranium is so hazardous/toxic because it's a heavy metal (like lead, mercury, cadmium, etc.), not because of radiological factor. Tungsten, which is MUCH more commonly used in ammunition made for use against tanks and the like is also extremely toxic when it gets into ground water or soil. Genuine "WTF" at the claim Iran is probably making nuclear weapons, come the fuck on Brace! I know that *you* know better than that. 😐 Like damn, you could send a one sentence question to either RWN host and get far better info on either of these topics... even assuming you knew nothing beforehand.

Joshua Tree

These weed pens can be full of illegal compounds that cause severe lung diseases like popcorn lung. Look into that issue. It’s not a coincidence.

Jon with no H

Going to a musical concert where you stand is way different than going to a comedy show or live podcast where you stand. Even when the music isn't that good at a show people who are standing are likely moving a bit. At a live podcast some are more likely to just be standing there, knees locked, zoning out into the conversation. I feel like ripping a fat hoot off of a vape pen definitely wouldn't help the knees locking and zoning out but I think it's more likely the knees locking that's making the people pass out and not the weed pen. I have never seen somebody faint at a concert but I've been to several comedy shows and a couple alt comedy acts in punk venues that were just standing room. Somebody fainted at both of the alt comedy shows in the standing room only venues.

Junior Carmichael

The US atomic weapon stockpile gets refurbished and tested to ensure they will probably still work. Even if they aren't new, they haven't been sitting on a shelf with no maintenance for decades. I assume other countries do similar within the restrictions of their military funding.

raychilldolezal

You have to let yung Chomsky do a rebuttal in favor of weed. those who faint from weed in public and blame the weed instead of themselves do us a disservice

Playdoh

As the close relation of someone trained extensively on both US and "other" nations' nuclear weapons' fuzes/detonators, and has discussed this in depth with them... no. There is a NARRATIVE of the US nuclear arsenal being dilapidated (for the purpose of defense spending). The truth is that whatever is viewed as actually essential/practical is meticulously maintained and receives more than adequate funding and attention. ICBMs in South Dakota don't matter so much when you have submarines and stealth aircraft with far faster, and less detectable strike capability. Let alone the things that aren't made widely known to the public. (Let's just say that *super low-res* drone/targeting pod footage you've seen on LiveLeak might not be completely genuine)

Erockdog

only thing to reinforce is dont snitch not ending well for anyone

K H

Brace is way off base. Everyone is only attracted to one gender because there is only 1 gender...human. The correct answer to "how many genders?" Is "One." Someone please explain this to Biden.

Playdoh

Just wait till you learn what the dosage from going on an average commercial airline flight is. In all seriousness, it's breathing in heavy metal and jet fuel fumes that is the most harmful.

Playdoh

Getting NTSB and others to "miss" the cause is another issue though.

The Cheerful Comrade

Ohh here's my explanation for the fainting. People are fainting because it's a standing show. After Yung Chomsky plays for like 40 minutes, then there's a intermission then into the speaking part of the show which is an hour. All very good, very fun, but not a chair in the house. People are just too stoned to remember to flex their legs. Plus us aging hipster are weak.

Cierra

I think this is it tbh

Samwell Ganges

They say things to rile up the Twitter and reddit fiendos at this point.

Jessica

Where's Nancy? Lol Liz sounds like Beetlejuice.

Michael S. Judge

100% true real-life addition to the No Snitching rule: I'm not sure if this is true everywhere in the United States, but in some places, if you get busted for something and then the cop offers you a deal (who's your dealer, etc.), you can get that case thrown out in court. Cops have zero legal authority to cut those deals. I knew a kid in college who got the full-on SWAT raid treatment with drug dogs and everything, and because the cops said they'd let him go if he ratted on his distributor, the judge had to drop the charges. Ask a lawyer some time if that rule applies in your jurisdiction; might save your ass.

Oliver Crane

My sister went to the Carly Rae show and someone in front of her fainted, apparently someone fainted at the previous night’s show too.

Nic Warnock

I come from a medical family and their explanation is that it’s not the weed causing fainting but a new mutation of the Beatlemania virus clunkily named Truetlemania

Graham Hoese

That Argentinian Nazi bar did make some good hurricanes so I can't knock them too much.

Melting Kentucky

It's not the weed pens, it's the combination with liquor. It's even worse with edibles. One pot gummy and a couple beers can knock you straight on your ass. Either of those things on their own are relatively easy to handle.

Shiv

+ laughing (shallow breathing). def thought the guy in front of me was gonna faint on me at the Sat show!

Shiv

1. sorry for your loss and 2. my mouth is still open where it fell from the second story!! omg glad you’re here!

Shiv

I shared the Helicopter rule with my friend who is an Iraq vet-former heli pilot and she 100% has the same rule for her kids (and herself, unless she did the safety inspection)

riley bowers

People are fainting more I saw some one faint at two different shows I went too never saw that before idk what’s up

K H

Planes are the only bi vehicles.

K H

Why don't you want Iran to be cool?

K H

I'm calling bullshit that you could be airlifted for hypothermia but also comprehend anything happening in any aircraft at 8 years old.

K H

Omfg. Brace played Baldur's Gate. This is the biggest reveal since who done did 9/11. Baldur's Gate confirmed Communist Liberation game of choice. Off the record. I jacked it suuuupeer hard to those little character portrait icons. I bought all the games but never actually played them at all because I just wanted more character portraits to blast to. Crank really. I was not old enough to blast until my family did an intervention and took all my discs away...off the record of course.

Danny

anyone know any good books about those events in 45/ratatouille lines

Donna Oakes-Munro

If you are doing Iggy Pop style backbends on stage, Brace, you better make up with the chiropractic profession, cause you are going to need them.

Juliette DeMaso

People aren’t fainting from weed. And Long COVID isn’t contagious. It’s a syndrome, like Lupus or RA, you can’t “catch” them. And there are a lot of people who’ve had ..undesirable reactions to the MRNA vaccine. I’m not apologizing for saying that, keep your spook nicknames to yourself.

AbeLinkin

Never played the OG Baldur’s Gate but played Dark Alliance with my friend growing up on PS2 and it was the balls

Char Kelly

No Ms.Lipa reference? Such an opening for one….hoping the next time they do a free form episode it’s an old school true anon AMA

PJ Renteria

Other gumshoes treat weed like Fentanyl. Embarrassing

Alex Gullen

Could just be cheap synthetic products being pushed in the vape pens. Maybe Vit E Acetate and/or cofactors like decreased pulmonary functions arising from multiple infections leading to long Covid.

dude

I went to Riot Fest in Chicago and I was watching Noname’s set and FOUR different people passed out during just her set. She had to stop every time to make sure everyone was okay. Bizarre.

Kurt Brendel

Can we tone down on the use of "my thing is" Brace?

Char Kelly

Brace’s neck, brace’s back, brace’s gay pussy, and brace’s crack

Gillian

i was told to smile more on the 5r tonight

Gabby S

i was standing behind a polycule at a phoebe bridgers show over the summer and two of them fainted almost simultaneously

Maureen Callahan

I was next to the girl who fainted twice (only saw her faint once) and tbh she had such a devilish grin when she stood up that I assumed she was faking it

NigelBOpinion

Sorry if someone has already pointed this out, but German emigration to South America goes back to like the 19th century. The Nazi connections are real, but it isn't everybody. Look at the PSOL and PCC in Brazil and Chile, respectively, plenty of them have German surnames.

J Fitz

I was sick of standing and almost left early. Last thing I expected from the night was that the YC DJ set would be the best part… but c’mon the main show was a dud.

The Cheerful Comrade

I definitely concede that they do better when they have a topic. And that I was waiting for them to get to a point, I could see they put a lot of work into it and the venue was amazing, met some new people etc.. I kept thinking howI had an amazing time at Duncan Trussel stand up which is also kindof a podcast informed live show, we were seated and had food and ginger ale lol.

Chris Wood

I was at the show. I think the girl had a seizure from watching the screen during the Young Chompsky set. I was standing right in front of her by the downstairs bar.

LIL CHEEKS

You guys should probably watch died suddenly. We really do miss the pedophile investigations...

daniel

When brace said atomic bomb, I think as hoping it was the William Onyeabor

TangiePower

If you lock your knees too long you can go straight down - has happened to me and seen it happen to others a few times.

Robin

I'll never recover from witnessing that damn phone throw.

Maura Willey

what ever happened to smoking a joint outside and then going to the show and having a nice glass of water

carl

how did you get zeppelin on the pod holy shit

Alex

My friends and I used to go to the video game bar in Portland and go out to the car to drink Fireball out of a metal water bottle and I feel personally attacked

Zoey Lowe

Someone tell Brace Baldur’s Gate 3 is coming out in the next couple years

H G

truly think the weed thing comes down to people just vaping weed like they smoke weed ie. sucking deep into their lungs and just holding as long as possible. shouldn't do that while smoking, but once weed passed into being commonly smoked (+ infinitely stronger) everyone forgot they don't need to worry about "maximizing" each hit whether vaping or smoking. scarcity mindset

Yvonne LaRose

The fainting is all because of Brace's ebullient sexiness.

Shoshana

i love how liz and brace are just reinventing gender and sexuality “discourse” a la tumblr 2013

sir peepus

Lmfao ratatouille line 🤌🏼

Ben

yes people need to not use carts which have 81% thc vs even nice weed usually being like 15-25% thc

Ben

this my zoomer report

Grace Olson

My friends and I were all squirming with spinal discomfort after standing up at the Thalia Hall show, and noticing everyone else doing the same… lots of neck and shoulder rolling and stepping from foot to foot. Tragic to hear that brace was suffering as well. side hustle idea- bring a caravan of chiropractors along next time to provide “adjustments” behind the building, take a cut of what they make

brodie

TRUEANON RULE #O NEVER BE CAUGHT LACKING

Aaron Harrison

Sorry to hear about your back problems Brace! I hope you find a good chiropractor! They'll patch you right up!

Ali Muhareb

Thank you for your bravery

Ali Muhareb

I was hittin my dmt vape all night at the Portland show with no problem… the machine elves loved the set btw

rutjake

Moleman story is alluded to in “Merry Cryptids.” I know this because I just relistened to it, to ring in the start of the season <3

SwagMasta420

Chiropractor? Have you listened to the Musk episodes? Is that the joke? Lol

Matthew Floratos

I think I got them all. Someone tattoo this on their arm memento style • If you’re pushing through a land reform program without the peasantry, do it quickly and without telling anyone. • Always get the interior minister position. • Never ride in a helicopter. • Don’t all fly together. • Never give up your nukes. • Never let the opposition delay elections. • If someone gets into German runes, let them out of your life. • Never trust a South American with a German name. • Never move anywhere for a religion. • Never go into sewers (unless you’re a sewer guy). • If someone’s trying to get you to commit a crime, they’re in the FBI. • Never become a FBI informant. • If you do become a FBI informant, record everything. • Never relinquish your arms. • Always get it in writing. • If you keep gambling, you’ll eventually win. • Never talk to cops without a lawyer. • Pay taxes on crime money. • Never deal with an explosives expert. • Always duck if you’re being shot. • Shoot the other guy. • Never let a woman see you play video games. • Never talk to journalists. • Don’t sleep with your roommate. • Always pay your guys on time. • Don’t give up your passport. • Everybody snitches. • If a guy with an analog camera wants to take your picture, and you’re a woman, he wants to have sex with you. • Whenever the FBI “foils” anything it’s fake. • Always shoot first. • Shooting someone below the waist isn’t attempted murder. • Never warn anyone—just attack. • Always keep it loaded. • Always be cool. • Straight and gay mean the same thing; they mean you like one gender. If you’re bi, you only get to pick two genders. Pansexual means all genders. • A political coalition always fractures.

Andy Orsburn

I think of “pan-“ as meaning everything: vegetable, animal, mineral: animate, inanimate.

Amanda M

Can you guys PLEASE in your next episode talk about this Balenciaga, pedophile ad drama?? The conservative, “save the children”, ppl r really going crazy about it and it seems super interesting to delineate from like actual pedophiles and recent movements against sec abuse (Epstein duh, #metoo)

Agent Grange

No no, folks, please. Pansexual is for bis that don't want to be treated like they're sluts and don't want anyone to be mad at them for being bi. Bis have always been getting with *everyone*, we've been out here the whole time. Example. Pete Wentz is bi. Brandon Urie is pan. Also Brace, baby, we care about you. Get some tiger balm and Red Borneo Kratom for your back before it gets worse and you need to move onto harder shit that's bad for you like muscle relaxers or CBD soda.

Ryan Dahmer

about to go to a trueanon show and pretend to faint for the free banana 🤙

Olympia

hey if you go to a trueanon show and have to stand don't lock your knees

Eleanor

Your fans have unionized and we demand chairs at the live shows

EaZy E

My cart is like 88.7%. But it’s cool. It’s a sativa. I’m working right now.

EaZy E

Yeah, people are just doing oxygen deprivation. I read something, idk how legitimate, but that your lungs absorb everything almost immediately. So the only thing holding it in does is keep toxic things in your body longer as it attempts to process everything.

Leslie Cox

The discussion of ‘nuclear’ weapons made me depressed at the lack of understanding of middle school level science.

Marina

Guys I beg of you, please get chairs for the spring tour! Or at least let us bring our own folding chairs to into the venues- I guarantee that’s making the fainting worse. Alcohol, weed, and standing in a tight space for several hours is a faint waiting to happen. Also I’m 5”3 and statistically most true Anon fans are very tall. ❤️

Marina

Bump with peace and love

Eleanor

No trueanon fan has all four: stable blood pressure, non flat feet, good standing posture, ability to tolerate weed pens

Squid

Happy to see other ppl saying this, YOU GUYS it’s not the weed it’s people having to STAND for 3+ hours!!! The fact u guys don’t come out until one hour after doors and we’re standing for another hour+ to watch you. Help usss

Squid

You guys should come out immediately after Yung Chomsky, why another 30 min?!

kmd

The decoy is a must in any devious plot, juul or otherwise. As a teen in the late 90s/early 00s we used to steal movies from blockbuster by one of us "confusedly" setting off the alarm with a visible tape while a 2nd slipped past with a pocketed disc. I'll never forget the thrill of watching a stolen copy of Gone In 60 Seconds.

TrueAnonPod

Why is everybody mad at me I’m just a smol bean who makes people stand for multiple hours while they smoke WEED!!!!

mischlingmenace

First they came for the people with weed pens and I said nothing for I did not have a weed pen…

Anneliese

The video game one is so real

yerrak

Smoke mid every day

Mia

I thought we’d escaped the bi/pan discourse oh god

Hannah Matthews

I assume someone this but just in case they haven't: medevac is often you riding in the interior of the helicopter. For something like the side of a mountain, you might be dangling, for a severe car accident you're loaded to the interior

Zzz

Dude right??! My knees buckled so hard lmao

justdave

I weigh over 700 lbs and was absolutely air lifted this way, do better.

K8

I’m curious to know if Brace is actually the admin of bracellectuals or not

ch

thank you for guest listing me. I went alone and met a handsome man at the bar who got the ticket from his roommate who couldn’t go and knew absolutely nothing about the show so I got to explain the lore to him all night (and get laid)

gen~

two heterosexuals redefining sexuality by erasing homosexual experience to accommodate gender retardation? im shocked

Bre Wolff

Devilish grin from the devils lettuce over taking her

Bre Wolff

Ive gone to a ton of concertz what makes it weird is thay these are winter shows. If these were outdoor summer events or no ac in the summer shows it would make so much sense, ive seen a lot of people pass out during summer concerts pre weed pen popularity due to heat and dehydration combined with standing in a pit. Its not the same climate though. It used to happen every 5-6 shows id go to, but nearly always in the summer

Dylan

I know you all have been touching on crypto-adjacent stuff a lot lately but what are we to make of the Nikolai Meshugian murder? He's a crypto founder living in Puerto Rico that claimed that CIA & Mossad were running a sex trafficking scheme out of PR & the Caribbean more broadly. He was found dead four days later on the beach, after drowning some time in the early morning. https://nypost.com/2022/11/09/drowning-death-of-crypto-visionary-fuels-conspiracy-theories/

Zzz

Truuuu

S H

Have you guys considered that your fans may have higher rates of anemia than normies?

Internet jones

Turkey takes more than 6 hours to cook that’s why you can’t order it lol

Michael Ouderkirk

If only restaurants had a way to cook food beforehand and have it ready to go for customers. Anything beyond a cheeseburger is, essentially leftovers.

Drake

Sous vide is great because you can hold it cooked without ruining it and searing/broiling to finish

Dani

Maybe this is mean, but has anyone considered maybe avid podcast listeners don’t have the best stamina/strength out of the general population? Let’s be real, we are a weak group, and just maybe don’t want to admit it…

Natalie

i fainted once at a really small show for the japanese house. i was just in my coat in the crowd and started feeling really sick. apparently it was a mix of dehydration and my knees locking up (?? so w all due respect the chairs probably do factor in lol) and it was terrible bc i fainted WHILE trying to go get some air outside so my boyfriend & a guard had to carry my 200 pound ass to a corner 😭 where i woke up shortly after. so i assume it's a mix of weed, no water, and standing. and Leftists™️ love being dehydrated