May I Enjoy My Life, Entry 43 (Patreon)

Entry 40: Day 84

It’s actually sort of weird waking up when you’re blind. Or, at least, it’s weird if you used to be able to see shit. Now, I wake up and it’s just…nothing. It was weirdly disorienting the first time, laying in bed, not sure if I was awake or asleep. It was less like seeing blackness, and more like seeing…nothing. In my dream, I could still see, of course, but it had been one of those disorienting, feverish dreams that you don’t remember when you wake up. 

Then I turned my head, and I saw her: my glowing blue goddess. You’d think Sussurro would glow pink or red, but no. She’s blueish. Not as vibrant as Exusiai or Suzuran, but I can still see her outline. Well, and her organs. Oripathy works fast, and even though we’d removed that shard, she was still obviously infected. We had done a test, and she was at .28 u/L, and 3% cell integration. 

I just lay there, looking at her, and, well, being in pain. It was the pain that finally got me up, more even than needing to go to the bathroom. I tried to be quiet, but, well, a blind man fumbling about in the dark isn’t exactly silent. 

“James!” Sussurro half screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed and scaring the bejeesus out of me. I yelped and turned towards her, but she just glued herself to me for a moment, sobbing. 

Then the door slammed open, and I saw Rosmontis’s organ floating in the air. 

“Where are the enemies?” I heard her ask.

“I-It was just a dream,” Sussurro gasped, and I heard fabric rustling, so she was probably trying to cover herself since we were both sleeping in the buff. 

“Oh. I see.” Rosmontis’s originium just sort of stood there for a few moments, and I coughed. 

“Um, maybe let us get up and get dressed, Narcissa?” I said gently.

“My apologies. I will wait outside.” I heard the soft patter of bare feet and then the door gently shutting. 

“Sorry I woke you up,” I said, gently rubbing Sussurro’s back as she shivered next to me. “Must have been some dream.” 

“I…I saw…the Black Demon…sacrificing people, telling me to heal them…and I couldn’t,” Sussurro sniffed, putting her head in her hands. I gave her a hug and just kind of sat there with her for about five minutes.

Then, both of us had to get up. It was real embarrassing that Lucia had to show me where the bathroom was. I didn’t even try to aim. I sat down and had a good cry while I peed.

“Blood in your urine again. You’re passing another stone,” she told me. A few minutes later, she did some crying herself.

“You too, huh?” I asked. 

“The joy of being reinfected,” she sniffled. “Here. I’ll shoot you up first, but I’m stealing a dose of your morphine.”

“I could prescribe it for you if you like,” I joked, but we both made like junkies and took pretty hefty doses: 40ccs for me, 20 for Sussurro. That would be enough to make someone not used to taking heavy painkillers incredibly high, but for me, it just sort of put me in a warm buzz where the pain wasn’t so bad I could barely think. 

Sussurro took half that, but for her size, that’s a lot. Not that she wasn’t used to taking opioids: any Infected is in chronic pain, with originium kidney stones just being one the many fun and exciting ways your life feels like shit now. 

“How did you get reinfected, anyway?” I asked her as I sloppily brushed my teeth. 

The story she told me was utterly horrifying: stabbing herself with a shard to try to reactivate the miracle arts, and failing. A Blade gutting Fabrizio and leaving him to die of a ruptured intestine. And of course…unleashing Monst3r. 

“You knew about her, didn’t you? Was she in that…collection?” Lucia asked, her tone way, way too calm. 

“Well, she actually wasn’t out yet,” I hedged. “Not in NA, that is, in my country. She was in the native Chinese game, but she hadn’t been ported over. I knew about her because she was, well, yes, very popular with fan artists, but I didn’t realize…huh. I thought she only came about…because Priestess had killed Kal’stit, and forced Monst3r to evolve in response to Kal’tsit dying.”

There was a sudden crash, and I jumped up while Sussurro squeaked. 

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but did you just say that my mom died?!” Monst3r gasped. I could see her outline, and she glowed like she was made of radium. Unlike everyone else, she was green. She didn’t seem to be infected, more just…like she was forged from originium? That was a disturbing thought, but probably something Kal could do. 

“Uh, only in my Weird Alien Knowledge,” I hastily said, holding up my hands. Well, holding one up. My right hand only rose to the height of my shoulder, and the arm just refused to go higher. That’s probably a sign of a stroke. But the odds of me having brain damage are…quite high, actually. Fuck. I probably need CT and an MRI. 

Though here, they’d probably used an ORS, Originium Resonance Scan. 

“Monst3r…the Director isn’t dead. Do you know why Kal’tsit sent you here?” Sussurro said. “And please…don’t walk on those pinchers. It’s…unnerving.”

“Right, sorry!” there was a soft thud, and those pincher things sucked into her back. Looks kinda funky in my new vision. Like, I can see it absorbing into her body, but it just kinda melts. Weird. 

“WHO HURT DIRECTOR MOM!?” Red shouted, the poor door banging open again. 

“I will kill them,” Rosmontis hissed, some real emotion in her voice for once. 

“Oh for the love of- look, the Director isn’t dead, or hurt, as far as we know! It was in an alternate universe! The one I’m from!” 

I hastily reiterated what little I knew, which was basically that Rhodes Island gets destroyed, and that Kal’tsit was killed by Priestess, an ancient Precursor of incredible power. “But, since I told her all this already, she’s probably taken steps to avert it all! The Old Well is a smart lady. Even if she’s in contention for history’s greatest yapper.”

“Why you call Director Mom Old Well?” Red asked, sounding confused. 

“If you are insulting the Director, I will take offense,” Rosmontis added. 

Thankfully, Monst3r came to my rescue. “No, guys! It’s, like, a term of endearment. You know, when friends insult each other and stuff? Like when we call Dr. McCoy Bones, or you call Warmy Potlid!” 

“Oh. That make sense,” Red said. “Not have to break Bones man’s arm.”

“You are certain it is a term of endearment, and not an insult to the Director?” Rosmontis asked.

“Uh, yes. Very endearing in Earthling culture,” I said. “Wells are a source of life, you know, and old wells are the most reliable. So, because the director is so important and wise…I call her the Old Well as a sign of respect.”

“Ah. Red understand. OK. You put on clothes now, Bones man. Sussurro might like see you naked, Red think you kinda skinny and ugly.”

“He is very tall though,” Rosmontis mused, as I blushed and realized I was only partly clothed since I wasn’t even done getting ready for the day. 

“Down, Narcissa. This one’s mine,” Lucia said, and put a possessive arm around me. I heard the sound of padding feet, and thought we were alone.

Then I heard Monst3r speak and just about jumped out of my skin. “I’ve got a copy of those ‘memes’ in my hard drive, Mr. Bones. I know perfectly well you call my mom Old Well because it’s a joke in Arknights. My sisters wouldn’t really understand. I think it’s kinda funny, but don’t push it. 

“You, uh, you don’t have…”

“Mom didn’t copy your ‘homework’ folder, just the game files. Although…huh.  You know, I really didn’t care or understand why you’d be so interested in drawings of naked people before, but now…Lucia, I have a very strong urge to slap him. Is that normal?”

“Yes, but don’t do it, I’d be worried you’d take his head off.”

“No, I won’t! Just checking, I’ve only been a person for a few hours, so this is pretty new. Oh, and I don’t think you’re ugly, Dr. Bones. Hmm, maybe I’ll have to find a boyfriend too. Or a girlfriend. Hmm, that will be hard to figure out, boys or girls?”

Then, Monst3r started humming to herself, and I heard a thump-thud-thump-thud as she skipped out of the room.

“My life is fuckin’ weird,” I muttered, then winced. “Uh, you’re not mad, right, Lucia?”

“I forgave you, didn’t I?” Lucia said.

“Yeah, sent me some good nudes too. Only…” I swallowed, blinking back tears. I guess I could still cry, even if I couldn’t see. 

“James, I…I’m sorry,” Lucia said, coming over to hug me again.

“I can still see you. Sort of. You’re…blurry. And dim. It’s weird, Lisa and Exusiai are so bright…”

“James…” Lucia said, her tone dangerous again.

“No, wait, hold on,” I said, rubbing my forehead. “You said…you said you couldn’t use the arts, right?” 

“I, no, but…oh! You think this has something to do with that?” Lucia said, her anger forgotten for excitement. 

“Yeah…let’s get Exusiai, Lisa, Monst3r, and Emperor in here. We need to try to nail this down,” I said.

“James, wait!” Lucia called as I fumbled about for the door. 

“Huh?”

“James…we do need to put on something aside from our underwear.”

“Oh. Uh, right. I…uh, well, I sort of…forgot.”

Once we were dressed, we assembled the troops and had a powwow. 

“Exusiai, can you use my arts?” I asked her straight off the bat.

She seemed startled by that. “Uh, I don’t think so? Only, uh…I did hear the voice of the Law…he’s an asshole, by the way.”

“How did you get infected, exactly? Was it at the same time?” Lucia prompted. 

“Uh, maybe? I don’t actually know how I got…wait, no, I sort of remember,” Exusiai said slowly. “I remember…pulling. And originium, it came out of the Blade, and into me..hey, Odda, c’mer a sec.”

“Huh? Hey, Exusiai, what are you- FUCK! OW! WHAT THE FUCK, EXU!” 

I saw it. A flash of light, and then, Exusiai became more clearly defined. It was like I could see the amount of originium in her system go up. At the same time, the circulatory system that made up Odda, and crystals I could see on his skin, got a bit dimmer. 

“Um, ow?” Exusiai said sheepishly. 

“Santi e angeli!” Lucia gasped, then I saw her run off to Exusiai and examine her. “Exusiai, what is wrong with you!”

“Um, sorry…”

“At least let me take a blood test first! Well, we do have recent blood work for you, yes?!” 

“Um,  yeah…I tested my levels this morning with a field kit…I’m at .25 u/L…”

“And 2% cell integration, unless I miss my guess! Ugh, this is no good! Come! You will strip for me and I will conduct a proper test.  You! Odda!”

“Uh, yes ma’am?”

“No, you are NOT coming to see her get naked!”

“I mean, he can if he wants to!”

“No! Flirt later! Serious medical work now! James, work up his blood- wait, no, Sora, help James work up his blood! You are promoted to nurse! I know you have some basic field medicine from the course I taught you.”

“Uh, yes, Dr. Sussurro!” Sora said. 

I took Odda aside, and had Sora administer the tests, though I could tell just by looking at him and running my hands over him. “Test will say….38 u/L, and 12% cell integration.”

“Hey, that’s pretty good! You see my file? It should be .4 and 13% though, unless it’s gotten worse again,” Odda told me.

“Um, Dr. Bones is right,” Sora said. “Though, the cell integration…we need a full scan for that, you can’t tell from just looking.”

“Unless you have super originium vision, which I do,” I said with a chuckle. “Yep. Apple Pie yanked the originium right out of you and put it into herself. I’d bet anything on it.”

“WHAT!!” Odda jumped up and shoved both Sora and I out of the way to dash out of the guest bedroom we were in. He threw open the door to another room, where I could now see the glowing forms of Exusiai and Lucia. And also hear the angry not-Italian swearing that Lucia was doing.

“Exusiai, how could you!? You can’t just absorb my oripathy! That will just make yours worse!” Odda said, physically picking her up and pulling her face close to his. They were both infected enough I could make him out pretty easily, even a few yards away. 

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m only at .26 u/L now. And only like, 3% cell integration! Probably? Depends on what the scans and stuff say.”

“This is still completely unacceptable! You, you’re a SANKTA Exusiai! How…how can you even think…even think of taking…of taking my…” Odda was shuddering now, and he slowly set Exusiai down, wrapping his arms around her as he started crying. 

Exu hugged him back and gave him a tight squeeze. “I told you, you big dummy, I’m a Sarkaz. And besides, this just means you can rawdog me later instead of having to use all those protections if I wasn’t infected!”

“I…what?” Odda said, sounding poleaxed. 

“Am I going to have to give the safe sex lecture to my operators again?” Lucia huffed. “James! Get over here! We’re going to have to give the safe sex lecture again!”

“Bit hypocritical, honey, since you’ve been insisting we try for a kid,” I told her as I hobbled over with the cane we’d found for me. I still hit my shin on a chair or something. Fucking ow. No, it’s not worse than oripathy, but I still hate that I’m going to be stubbing my toe and busting my ankles for basically the rest of my life. 

“I, I was joking! We’re not, uh- I mean, we haven’t…oh Law,” Exusiai moaned, putting her head in her hands. 

“Get a guy’s hopes up,” Odda muttered, which made Lucia’s nostrils flare in annoyance. 

“I meant it,” Exusiai whispered, which was when Lucia and I launched into the “so you’re an Infected, and you want to have sex” lecture. It’s pretty long, actually. Odda had clearly heard it before and suffered through it, but Exusiai clearly hadn’t, and had a lot of questions about common myths.

“Yes, you can get infected from oral sex. It’s rare, admittedly, but it can and does happen.” Lucia stated emphatically. “That means it goes for you too, Texas and Sora!” 

“We’re not infected,” Texas said. Oh, right. Everyone was still here. Man, being blind is just the worst, you know? 

“Uh, Ingrid took Lisa away, right?” I said, wincing and looking around, but I couldn’t see her. 

“Yes, they’re waiting outside until we finish,” Lucia said. “Now listen, because this is important, Lemuel! Just because your current partner is infected doesn’t mean that won’t always be the case!” 

“We, uh, we haven’t actually…she was kidding,” Odda coughed. 

“Totally wasn’t,” Exusiai said brightly. 

Hmm. Being able to see people’s circulatory system means I can see…interesting things. Well, good for Odda. And Exu. 

After Exu promised to be a good angel and not infect her future partners, we called everyone back in. It seemed Emperor had ducked out, which I found amusing. 

“Ten thousand years old, and you’re still scared of the birds and the bees?” I teased him. 

“‘Bout two feet down and to your left, brother,” Emperor grunted, and I adjusted my vision. He’s completely invisible to me, having no originium in him at all. “Close enough. Look, to me, it’s like hearin’ little kids talk about some nasty stuff. I see a fine lady penguin, who was at least a thousand years old, I’d be all up in her business. But you kids? Fudge, man. That’s like, some pdf file stuff.”

Ah. The bird respected Ingrid, who was probably glaring at him. Truly, Siracusa ladies are terrifying. I should know, I’m sleeping with one. 

“What is a PDF file?” Lisa asked in her too-loud child’s voice. 

“Uh, portable document format, you know, like on computers and stuff,” I told her. 

“I have not heard of this file type,” Ingrid said suspiciously. 

“Huh. Emperor, you got some ‘splainin’ to do,” I told him. “Cause I know what a PDF is…but that’s an Earthling format.”

“I got news for you, boyo. What you think the Precursors are, huh? How you think you doin’ all this stuff? Come on, I can’t be the only one that’s wised up to this. Lay the cards all out. You kids will pick up on it,” Emperor encouraged. 

“The Precursors…are Earthlings?” Lucia gasped, clearly shocked. 

“Wait, hold on, does that make Bones…like, a god? Like Leader?” Exusiai asked, looking at me suspiciously. 

“Definitely not,” I said firmly, breaking every bit of wisdom I learned from Dr. Venkman. 

“Eh, they ain’t gods in the way you’re thinkin’ of it. Iffin ya mean Beast Lords like me-”

“Or Feramuts, like Kjera-ow!” 

“Yes, Kjeragandr is a feramut,” Sussurro said, having kicked me under the table. I didn’t have X-ray vision, so I couldn’t quite see through the table, but dammit I knew what she did! Uh, and was probably right, I probably shouldn’t blow Kjera’s cover. Wait, how did Sussurro know? Oh, right, probably helped with the medical exam.

“...right. Anyways, Precursors, they was mostly just folks, leastways, that’s I can tell,” Emperor said. “Now Beastlords, I don’t rightly consider us gods neither, but some folks call us that, and we got powers most folks don’t. However, if you is askin’ if Bones here is the same race as Doktah…yeah. He is. Kinda.”

“What do you mean by ‘kinda?’” Mon3tr demanded. 

“I mean that he’s some kinda throwback. Naw, don’t be makin’ that face at me Lil Doc. What I mean is he’s like them other Earthlings. They is Percursorin’ the Percursors. Like he was talkin’ about monkeys and stuff. He’s a monkey, the Ghost of Babel is a human, or whatever you wanna call it.” 

“So how did he get that weird alien knowledge?” Exusiai demanded. “It doesn’t make any sense he could know about what’s happening here, unless he’s like, a time traveler or something.” 

“I don’t know, woman! Time travel, dimensional travel, prophecy, magic, hell! I might be an immortal bird who’s the best damn conductor to ever grace this world, but you is talkin’ about things that not even the Old Witch or-woah! Put that thing away! You kill me now and I’m going back to Sargon to hang out with High Priest until this nonsense blows over.”

“Do not disrespect my mother,” Mon3tr growled, one of her pincers poised over where Emperor’s voice was coming from. 

“Please don’t threaten Boss,” Exusiai said, and from how she was holding her hands, I think she had her pistols out. “He cuts my paychecks.” 

“Look, point is, I dunno how Bones got here, and it don’t matter either way. What matters is Originium thinks he’s a precursor. Exu, what did you see and hear when Little Miss Sunshine touched you?”

Scrunching up her face, Exusiai frowned and tilted her head slightly to one side as she lowered her guns. “Well…it was sort of like a computer? It called me a sanctified.user, with a period in it and stuff. And it called Lisa kitsune.admin. So that means…?”

Sussurro sucked in a breath. “The Law, it is a computer, yes? So, you see this as a computer would. Me, I am Siracusian, so I hear it as a song…”

“Yes! It is like music,” Lisa agreed brightly. “Or a language that I used to know how to speak, but I forgot the words until Bones-sensei showed me!”

“Wait, so if the Elders were created by the Precursors…” I said slowly, “Then…I gave Lisa like, Admin access to arts? But why can’t I do that for Sussurro and the others?”

“Well, because you’re not the admin of the Ancients, just the Elders,” Odda said. He winced as several gazes, including my very creepy one, were drawn to him. “What? I mean, it’s long been theorized that Ancient races descended from the Elders somehow…”

“It’s wrong, but you’re on the right track,” Emperor said with a shrug. “The Ancient races came from the Herd. That is, all the animals that we Beastlords descend from, sort. I won’t go into all of it, but my guess is that the Elders, they were set up to oversee the evolution of the Ancients. So they would be the bosses, far as Originium is concerned.”

“So, why can’t I use those arts anymore?” Sussurro demanded. 

“You were given temporary access, not permanent access, maybe?” I theorized. “But I bet Lisa could grant it again.”

“So why can Exusiai still absorb Originium? How come only she can, while I never could?” Sussurro huffed, rubbing her chin and leaning forward in thought. 

“I mean, the only other person I saw do it was…” Exusiai trailed off, and swallowed. 

“Was who?” Lucia prompted. 

Exusiai winced, then glanced around. “OK, you literally can’t tell anyone, but I bet Bones already knows this.”

“Knows what?” I asked, confused. 

“Amiya…Amiya is Sarkaz,” Exusiai whispered, and Odda sat bolt upright.

“Exusiai! You can’t- that’s a secret no one is supposed to know!” he gasped. 

“Wait, you know too?” she exclaimed.

“I wish I didn’t,” Odda moaned. “But I’ve known Amiya since she was a kid. You can’t tell anyone-”

“Let me beat blabber mouth to the punch here,” Emperor interrupted. “Amiya is the King of Fiends, and possesses Civilite Eternal. So, she copied Bone’s orginium absorption, huh? Interesting. Aight. I think I get this now.”

“Amiya-san, she…she is…” Lisa trailed off and swallowed. 

“This thing, it is not possible,” Ingrid huffed. “Amiya is cautus. Not Sarkaz.”

“She’s a chimera,” I said, shaking my head. “And she is the King of Fiends, crowned by Theresa, the previous Sarkaz King, before she was assassinated.”

“Dude! What the fuck! How do you even know that?!” Odda demanded. 

“Weird. Alien. Knowledge,” Exusiai said fervently. 

“So, wait, is Bones Sarkaz too?” Exusiai asked, Sora asked, speaking for the first time. “Did you get a surgery like I did?”

“I don’t…think so?” I said, just as confused myself. “What does being Sarkaz have to do with…wait. Are you saying this is two different brands of arts?”

“Seems like it,” Emperor said with a shrug. “And I’m willing to bet you taught Amiya how to use it. She’s the Sarkaz king, so she can teach other Sarkaz how to use them arts. Exusiai saw her use it, got her admin permission granted or whatever, and now, she can use the same arts.”

“But, if they can’t burn off the Originium like I can…they’ll just die,” I said, shuddering.

“And if people find out Sarkaz can absorb their infection...then they’ll round us up and make us do it until we do die,” Odda said grimly. 

“Well…” I said slowly. “I also…I also figured out how to…push…Originium. I…I shot a shard at an Emperor’s Blade.”

“That was how it was wounded then?” Sussurro asked, and hastily explained the injuries she’d seen, injuries that only very powerful arts could produce.

“I mean…I also did something…weird…with poor Sasha. I think…I think I pumped it full of weird and destructive arts?” Exusiai said. “I mean, I have combat arts, sure, but I’ve only ever used them to shoot guns. This time, I blew one up, it was way stronger than before.”

“This is a lot to process,” I said, shaking my head. “But, the long and the short of it is, we need to find more Elders, and Lisa should try teaching other Ancients how to use the super miracle arts. And, well, we need to have a long talk with Amiya and figure out what she can do.”

“None of this explains how Bones does what he does though,” Odda pointed out.

A chair creaked, and I heard Emperor’s feet flapping on the floor. “Sure. Don’t matter though. He can, and now we gotta deal with it. Now if you’ll excuse me, Texas, you come with me and we go slap some sense into Lappland and those idiot wolves.”

“Bones. Will you be safe?” Texas asked. 

I nodded. “I got more bodyguards than I know what to do with. You go wrangle Lappland. What do we need her for, exactly, though?”

“The Signori dei Lupi do what she tells ‘em to,” Emperor stated, his voice fading away. “Dumbasses. Come on, woman! We’re gonna need those morons if things really hit the fan.”

I sat back at the table, glancing between Mon3tr, who was apparently doodling on a napkin instead of paying attention, Lisa, who seemed troubled but hopeful, Exusiai, who was taking being newly infected remarkably well, and of course, Lucia, who was holding my hand. 

“Well, we got anything else we need to do here?” I asked. 

“Curing Signora Siracusa may have been pointless. She’s struggling for power, and the famiglia are in chaos. Unless you want to kill a few hundred mafiosos, there is nothing left to be done in Siracusa,” Sussurro said in disgust. 

“Well,” I said, grinning at her. “There is one more thing we need to do. Hows about a trip down to Palermo?”