Chapter One (Patreon)

What?

Welcome to Character Selection!

I know, that’s what you said, but--

Please choose your era!

My what now?

Pre-Republic

Pius Dea

First Sith Wars

Old Republic

New Sith Wars

High Republic

Rise of the Empire

New Republic

Vong War

Okay, what the fuck?

Please choose your era!

Pre-Republic

Pius Dea--

Stop!

Okay, think. Star Wars. I’m getting thrown into Star Wars. What the actual fuck?

Welcome to Character Selecti--

Can you just SHUT UP for a moment? I’m having a meltdown here.

. . .

. . .

Welcome to Character Selection! Please choose your era!

Pre-Republic

Pius Dea

First Sith Wars

Old Republic

New Sith Wars

High Republic

Rise of the Empire

Rebellion Era

New Republic

Vong War

Right. Okay. I need to chose when. God--gods? Force? What the fuck am I supposed to say now?

Please choose your era!

That. Right. I’m going insane, but there doesn’t seem to be an off switch for this psychotic break so I guess I’ll have to go with it. After all there is a chance--

Notice: This is not a psychotic break. This is Character Selection. Please choose your era!

. . .

I mean, my psychosis usually is a lot more vibrant than just some words in darkness.

Please choose your era!

Right. Okay. There’s the Vong war, which means this is probably the old Extended Universe, maybe the old legends canon? Though even then what’s canon and what isn’t is a mess since Lucas couldn’t be bothered to make sure the novels didn’t conflict with each other and Disney just threw everything out rather than try and make a coherent timeline.

So, where can I survive? I mean, all of the eras are objectively dangerous. I assume my disabilities aren’t going to follow me into this new . . . whatever the fuck it is?

Character Selection includes physical, mental, and metaphysical abilities and disabilities. Please choose your era!

So no. And I get to chose abilities. So I might actually be able to do something good. I tried that before (exhausting, but worthwhile) before breakdowns and disability kept me from doing more.

Maybe I can have my mental breakdowns early this time? Well, even if I can’t the answer’s pretty obvious. As much as the political situation in the Rise of the Empire was terrible, casualties were pretty limited throughout the Clone Wars and the Rebellion. Out of a galaxy of--realistically speaking--at least a quadrillion sentients, billions died. Percentage-wise, that’s almost nothing, especially compared to the planetary destruction that was ridiculously commonplace during the Sith Wars.

Plus, it’s what I know the most about.

Though I’ll need to think of a plan at some point.

Okay, I’m ready. Rise of the Empire.

Era selected! Please choose your species!

Okay. Wow. That’s a lot of species. CP? What’s CP?

CP stands for Creation Points. These are points you must spend during Character Creation. Some species cost more than others, while some give extra creation points.

Why would Twi’leks be negative? They’re flexible, attractive, potential force-users . . .

Oh right. Most of the galaxy thinks of them as slaves. Even Aayla Secura got enslaved like three times, twice while nominally protected by the Jedi Order.

Okay, think. Wow, that’s a lot of species. Okay, can you filter out all the ones that can’t use the Force?

Filter applied! Please choose your species!

Okay, that’s still a lot of them. Ew, no I’m not playing a Hutt. And that’s so many creation points--I mean, I guess I understand why, they are hard to kill and basically start at the top of the galactic crime food chain, but still. Ew. No. Okay, can you filter out species with below near-human lifespans? And those that take like, fifty years or longer to grow out of childhood?

Filters applied! Please choose your species!

Okay. That’s a shorter list. Still too long. Well, if I’m going to do anything I’ll need to be out and about. And independent. Can you filter out species with hive-minds, rigid caste systems, and prohibitions on either technology or spaceflight?

Filters applied! Please choose your species!

That’s more like it. Still long, but whatever.

Let’s see. No. No. Maybe? No. Possibly. God no, I’m not being a Gamorrean. Even if they are swole as hell. No. No. Perhaps--no. And no. Diathim? Aren’t those angels? No, I don’t want to be that isolated from people. Besides, there’s like four of those left. No.

Okay. Cathar, Rishi, Togorian, Iktochi, Echani, or human. Echani and Iktochi cost too many points, and the Iktochi don’t often interact with other species. Rishi are really expensive too, but they can fly.

Then again, I always did say I was a catgirl. And the descriptor says the Rishi get poisoned pretty easily.

So. Cathar or Togorian.

Congratulations! A species has been chosen for you.

What? I thought--

You have timed out. Species: Togorian has been selected. Please choose body orientation.

At least I get this. Female, finally. Force knows I don’t want to have to go through another vaginoplasty, even if their medicine is probably more advanced.

Hey, wait, why is height locked in at maximum? 2.2 meters? I had a hard enough time finding someone to be the big spoon when I was just five-foot eleven!

Okay, fine. Force, I hope Togorians don’t have six breasts. Two was enough strain on my back.

Oh, and built for lithe muscle please.

Body orientation selected! A background has already been selected for you.

Wait--

Please choose your traits!

Traits? Oh. Wow. That’s a long list. Wait, what’s the background.

Background: Underdweller has been selected for the system’s amusement.

So I’m just here for entertainment?

Correct!

Don’t know how I feel about that. Then again, if whoever the hell is running this is powerful enough to set this up, I probably shouldn’t piss them off. Better make a good show, I guess.

Good Guess! You have been awarded 1 [one] extra Creation Point for agreeing to amuse the System Owners.

Okay then I guess. Well, I definitely want to have the Force. It’s pretty much a broken power here, even if it’s not invincible.

Force Options:

Force Adept: 1 Point

The Force Adept can sense the Force and wield it, but only to a small extent

Force Savant: 3 Points

The Force Savant can sense the Force and wield it, growing stronger with training. Most Jedi fall into this category.

Force Prodigy: 7 Points

The Force Prodigy can sense the Force and wield it, growing stronger with training. Most High Councilors fall into this category.

Force Nexus: 21 Points

The Force Nexus is a center of Force Power, beyond what midichlorians can account for. They have almost no limits in the Force, but attract danger at every turn.

Not Force Nexus. It’ll be hard enough to change things without Skywalker-brand cursed luck following me around. How many points do I have?

Creation Points: 21

Okay. Force Prodigy then.

Trait Selected! 14 Creation Points remaining.

Okay then. Let’s see . . . Improved Memory, one point. That would be nice, forgetting things sucks but I don’t want to remember everything either, so Eidetic Memory is off the table. Hmm. Increased Ability score? What’s that.

Increased Ability [Strength]: 3 points

Increases Player’s baseline and maximum Strength statistic by ten. Ability scores scale non-linearly. Average adult humans have a strength of 20. A strong adult wookiees may have a strength score of forty, nine times that of a human. A greater krayt dragon has a strength score of eighty, eighty-one times that of a wookiee. An increase of ten points is a three-fold increase.

Okay then. That’s pretty good, but I want to see what else there is. Rapid learning?

Rapid Learning: 2 points

Increases Player’s speed of learning, allowing them to understand concepts at the first or second time hearing them, rather than needing repeated reminders. 10% bonus to skill points from practicing.

Learning Savant: 3 points

Increases Player’s speed of learning, allowing them to understand concepts after hearing them once. 15% bonus to skill points from practicing.

Learning Prodigy: 5 points

Increases Player’s speed of learning, allowing them to understand concepts after hearing them once. Applies to all topics. 25% bonus to skill points from practicing.

Oh I am so getting that. There’s so much to learn on Earth, let alone in an entire galaxy connected by the holonet. Leaning prodigy please!

Trait Selected. 9 Creation Points remaining.

Okay. Oh, does my background come with any traits?

Background: Underdweller

You were born into the dark depths of the ecumenopolis. Sunlight is a stranger to you, and strange gasses abound in your homeland.

Trait: Underdweller

50% resistance to industrial toxins. 25% resistance to all toxins.

Other underdwellers are more likely to trust you

The Upper Class is less likely to trust or listen to you

Better ability to see in the dark (doubled darkvision)

Bright Lights hurt your eyes

Special Option Trait: Immunity of the Depths [2 points]: Immunity to industrial toxins, 75% resistance to all toxins. Available only on character creation.

Special Option Trait: Prepared for the Surface [1 point]: Removes light sensitivity. Most of the Upper Class will view you based on current standing, rather than background.

Okay, let’s take both of those. Light sensitivity was a bitch when it was just from migraines, and Force knows how much toxins there are in these depths.

Traits Selected. 6 Creation Points remaining.

Right. Okay.

Lucky [2 points]

Luck favors you. You are more likely to encounter people favorable to you, items you need or desire, and to escape from bad situations. This does not mean every situation you encounter will end well, or that all people will be favorable to you.

Combat Adept [1 point]

You are naturally talented at combat, and improve combat-related skills 15% faster. This stacks with Learning Prodigy.

Language Adept [1 point]

You are naturally talented with languages, and improve language-related skills 15% faster. This stacks with Learning Prodigy.

Noble Lineage [1 Point]

At one point, your ancestors were nobles. It is up to you to figure out when and where. Once you do, more doors (especially among the upper class) will open for you.

Technology Adept [1 point]

You are naturally talented with technology, and improve technology-related skills 15% faster. This stacks with Learning Prodigy.

Traits selected! Preparing body.

Wait what? Don’t I have to chose skills--

Skills, Vital Statistics, and Force Powers may be selected after the Tutorial.

Tutorial?

Prepare yourself for consciousness.

What?

Three. Two. One.

A warm dark space, then brought out into cold, semi-lit area. A slap on the back, a scream and celebrations.

I have to start as an Infant???