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Friendliness (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-05 08:27:20
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Firstly, I would like to thank you all for making this such (mostly) friendly space to be in. This means that I am able to take a largely hands-off approach to moderation. That being said, I have one big rule: we do not attack one another. If you want to argue against someone's ideas, go for it. But argue against the idea, not against the person having it. Explain why you disagree, don't call the idea (and, by extension, the person holding it) stupid.

The same goes for mocking people in general. If someone wants to proudly claim the first spot in the comments, let them. They're not hurting anyone, and if you mock them for it, you're only bringing unwanted negativity.

I understand that people are passionate about the story. I love that people are passionate about the story. That I can write something that so many people find meaningful is more satisfying and fulfilling than I can express. But please remember that, above all else, people come here to read a fun story and have a good time. A lively discussion in the comments is absolutely a part of that, and I have no problem with people disagreeing. Just please, please do so in a positive way. When someone brings in negativity, it takes away from the fun and enjoyment that is the entire purpose of coming here to read and share the story.

Sorry to be a downer, but I did some comment deleting because people were attacking one another, which is my bottom line. Please be nice to one another. Remember that you're (hopefully) all here because you share an enjoyment of this story. We're all on the same team. If you're going to disagree, try to be like Jason and Neil, not Jason and Thadwick.

-Shirt

Comments

Blayne Allsen

I would also like to know if we can be like Sophie and Jason

Acaelus

Never be a Thadwick

Alex Schellenberg

Can we be like Humphrey and Jason? Quietly writing our own fanfiction???

joshua carlile

I just don't give what they get out of it. Congratulations you got a notification and instead of reading the story you wrote a comment. Like it adds nothing and makes me avoid the comments. Which let's be fair is probably better for everyone else.

Michael

I agree with this. It’s mostly why I don’t read the comment section. Even if this one seems to be very friendly. Also first?

Wyatt

Hmmm the wisdom of Jason, when someone's opening their mouth to argue, stuff a delicious artisan sandwich in it.

Nick

Honestly, the way you write Jason and Neil's fights where they insult each other in an accurate way without any actual anger is gonna be impossible to replicate in the comments. Like how the heck am I supposed to know that someone looks "fat for an elf"? That's such a weird, accurate, and mild observation, you need to really know someone to make it. Or at least know how elves are supposed to be built and how it's not like a wall of body builder.

Joshua Ward

Also the problem is that comments tone is perceived differently by each person, someone may say something sarcastically but joking, and it can be received very different.

PrometheusDarkflame

So incredibly untrusting and passive aggressive to start and gradually transitioning to friends, but only really reaching that point when one of us is dead? Yup, that seems fine to me 🤣

Danielle W.

Yeah, like the guy commenting on the person who said first who was far, far from the first. I took it as just light joking since that sort of thing happens a lot on RR and they playfully rib each other about it all the time, but Shirt apparently didn’t (or there have been more comments made since then I missed.)

PrometheusDarkflame

Oh gods I could use a good gourmet sandwich right about now.

Marissa Schuler

Or what about Humphrey's mom and Jason? Or Clive's wife and Jason?

Vralnii

Anyone else notice this is a debate about Shirt telling us to be nice during the debates. And I say debates cause its all just words, but I know that's not a very politically correct viewpoint. But some people take internet comment sections WAY too seriously.

Danielle W.

Political correctness does more harm than good in my opinion, so no worries. Debate is a perfectly legitimate usage here, since there is still occasionally friendly debates somewhere out there in this crazy oversensitive world once in a blue moon. And this IS a comment section. What else are we supposed to do? It’s all part of the fun.

Braden Lambert

Well said shirt! We thank you for your time, work, and patience with us!

Vralnii

Preach it brother!

Dion Crump

When you are about to go on a tear, be it here, there, or anywhere. Ask yourself, are you about to be a Thadwick?

Sasquatchachu

Well said… and glad your using references to people in real life because my friend and I do that a lot about other people and often say… Ya he’s like other Colin, or dude…. Thadwick alert

Zarik0

This is a really good post I want to add too that this "bad" thing (or something similar/linked to that) is unfortunately done often unconsciously too by people (me included but i try not to and force myself to put the part below all time in my comment to dodge that) so this "bad" thing done often unconsciously (or can be taken like that by the people concerned in face of the answer of their comment) often it's done by how people write their comment in the first place and that into them not recognize at all (don't include it or don't bother because they feel its an obvious thing, which is not, really...) the people/position/personal statement/points of their counterpart in this discussion, so don't include this acknowledgment before "debating" the idea/argument/detail disputable, there is a difference between recognizing the people in front and what they said/points/personal statement and after that disagree with that/them and so after that start explain why and so debate on the detail who support or not the idea, so difference with that and simply reject/rebuck totally in block all of the idea and by extension the person holding them and all their statement/position and so their personal take on it, it become personal and not a exchange/debate of idea When done like that (even unconsciously, mostly done like that...) its not anymore an arguing, a debate, it becomes simply an attack on another by extension by this reject/refutes (implying of it) of all of it Calling the idea stupid or rejecting it in block with not acknowledging before the part the counterpart say and his position/take on it is a bit welp for the person in front :) It's really about how you present thing...most of the time... Well my poor vocabulary and english grammar really hold me back here with what i'm trying to say/mean here clearly/precisely/concisely, i hope overall it's not too bad and enough clear

Rich James

Entirely behind this, and thanks Shirt for wading through the muck to keep things clean (Crystal Wash for Comments?). Debate is good, but it needs to be civil; there are essentially two modes of discussion that can be made in a disagreement; "Arguing in good faith" and "arguing in bad faith". We all want to be on the "good side", I suspect. Arguing in good faith means you need to know the rules though, and there are quite a few; this boils down to "Know your logical fallacies". The "attack the person, not the idea" is an example; it's called the "ad hominem logical fallacy". If you use that (i.e. you call someone stupid, therefore dismissing their side), it's "arguing in bad faith". It means you've just used a dirty trick to try to derail discussion. Now, some posts may _seem_ to be quite spurious (i.e they're using the "fallacy fallacy", or as some people say "the making shit up fallacy"). The first thing I normally try to do in discussion is work out whether we're talking about subjective or objective. Let's say for example we're talking about Strawberries. If someone says "Strawberries taste really great", you know from the context that they're talking in the subjective sense. It's an opinion. They think that strawberries taste great. You may disagree, and that's fine, because subjectively, you may think they taste rubbish. There is no global, objective correct answer. This is in the realms of philosophy, not science, subjective, not objective. It needs to be treated as such. It is absolutely ok to disagree; in fact, you're a far better person being ok to disagree and KNOW that you aren't always correct and the sole authority on everything). If someone asserts that a particular molecule is always found in strawberries, that's an entirely different kettle of fish. If they're talking objectively and make a claim, they're subject to the "burden of proof". It's not up to you, as the skeptic to find evidence to disprove their assertion, it's up to them to prove their case. They may, for example, state that every strawberry always has a kilo of plutonium compressed inside it. Inside a short discussion, you can't go away and make the test, disprove it, and come back as the time window is gone. Good luck with finding that on a search engine, as I suspect nobody has written articles on the lack of kilos of plutonium in strawberries. It is the job of the asserter to prove that there is, by providing robust evidence (i.e. scientific papers of original research from a reputable source) to demonstrate that there is credible evidence. Always make sure someone meets their burden of proof, as one of the most common ways of crushing dissent is making someone believe it's their job to disprove your fallacy, causing them hours, days or weeks of work and stress to prove them incorrect (and then they'll probably use the "moving the goalposts" fallacy to say they didn't mean exactly that, and that they meant something slightly different). I don't know about you, but I absolutely love good discussion. Things should be talked about and discussed. But to do that "in good faith", you need to know the pitfalls. Some of the basic logical fallacies commonly used can be read at this nice little primer: https://thebestschools.org/magazine/15-logical-fallacies-know/ Remember, it's easy to discuss in bad faith. But, that word bad. It really means it. Using logical fallacies frequently means you're admitting you're happy to lie and cheat to get your way. It says things about you. If you find someone who absolutely insists on using logical fallacies, pretending that they're trying to engage in civil discussion, there's a lovely cartoon from XKCD that sums it up entirely. https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/communicating.png Don't be a Humpty. Be a Clive.

Matt

I missed the sandwich .. Ugh.. Having to sleep is such a downer

Laconic

I agree, and I think a previous chapter(737) "Faith is the Bane of Intellect" is pretty much what is occurring. When someone posts something that opposes the faith that we as individuals are always right, it triggers a defensive reaction and the person lashes out. This leaves to a person feeling like they are challenged and another person potentially feeling dismissed. The person that feels dismissed, is less likely to post again out of fear of rejection. It is a way of bullying a person into compliance and self doubt. I would suggest instead of this approach use something from a parent's toolkit. Parent's are subjected to ridiculous request's at all times, that are easy to say "No, that is stupid". Example A five year old daughter comes up to her dad and says "I want a real unicorn for my birthday", While the idea is impossible beyond a stuffed animal, or subjecting a pony to massive amounts of animal cruelty by supergluing a horn to their skull in hopes that it will graft to the bone. Let alone, where to house the pony? What to feed the pony? Who is going care for the pony? It is easier to say the idea is stupid, but as a parent you don't want to hurt your child. So usually the parent says this infamous line "Maybe, you will have to wait and see." Or the Parent can say that same thing and take out a notebook to right it down with the rest of her birthday wishes so she does not feel dismissed. It is easy to forget that a real person is on the receiving end of our comments, and I don't feel most people intentionally want to hurt others. So a little time and consideration will go a long way.

Rich James

Exactly. The absolute first rule of any conversation I have is "humanise". There is a living, breathing, thinking human at the other end of my words. Doesn't mean I wrap people in cotton wool and spare them hard truths, or expect them to spare me. I do, however, expect an "argument in good faith". That's what we owe everyone. Good faith.

Ral

We have yet to see about Vladwick though.

Bo meckel

I love this story and this place. I love that it started with Jason getting his but cheeks nearly handed to him by a rabid gerbil and that we will likely see a chapter in the near future where Jason takes on and wins against at least one god…. You do good work. And it’s appreciated.

mhaj58

There’s nothing wrong with having and stating an opinion no matter how unpopular it is but no one should intentionally attack another’s beliefs. People make mistakes and we should be respectful of them and ourselves.

Naotsugu97

I missed whatever drama there is. However, I do and hopefully always will attack someone whose beliefs are racist, misogynistic, or bigoted. As long as it’s not those kind of views I’m happy to live and let live.

Naotsugu97

I respectfully disagree. If someone’s beliefs are that one race, sex, or sexual orientation is superior, they need to be rejected. To allow such views to pass unopposed is tantamount to supporting them.

NethanielShade

They get nothing out of it but who cares? It costs you nothing but that half second to read it and subsequently ignore it. I don’t get the appeal of claiming first comment either. It’s still toxic to bully people over it

mhaj58

I said that opinions that are unpopular are valid, not that defending racists bigots are valid

Michael Fraser

There’s a joke about Shirt’s Sin essence and gaining Dominion’s favour in there somewhere but I don’t think I can pull it off without running the risk of offending someone ;-) [seriously just a good call to do this though, thanks]

Rich James

I'd actually question "at what?", and try and find the source of their meaning, and attempt to stay in a good faith discussion. The world is built from a vast array of strengths and weaknesses partitioned across many variables. It's embracing those strengths and weaknesses and applying them in the optimum fashion where things start to shine on the grander scale. Part of defusing situations is getting to understand what someone actually means; occasionally getting _them_ to understand properly what they mean, and constrain it to a well defined assertion, rather than an abstract and amorphous feeling. More often than not, what someone is trying to say is actually fairly mundane. Way too often, I find people refusing to try and find the core meaning and writing off perfectly valid subjective assessments by hasty generalisation of their point into a political category and attacking it (which ultimately divides and disenfranchises perfectly valid observations).

Rich James

You forgot misandrist. :)

Rajani Isa

What about Jason’s wife and Clive?

Marissa Schuler

What about Clive's wife and Jason's wife?

Evan Knight

OMG this has to be what Jason calls him from now on

Arlene Maiuro

The word "bigoted" covered every other group. Obviously this person could not list every single bigotry known to humankind. They listed two of the biggest bigotries against marginalized communities and then encompassed the rest by referring to "bigoted" beliefs. In all honesty, there are a large number of marginalized communities that could have been addressed WAY before anger against men. What three commenter did was far beyond acceptable.

Matt Turner

i think all of yall might be missing Shirt's point.

ABTelford

Thanks for moderating and THANK YOU SO MUCH for being patient with us crazy fans. 😇. You said what had to be said in such a patient way - awesome! 😎 I admire you keeping a cool head. Another author I follow told his readers to F off. 😳. So I did. For 6 months. I just caved and went back to reading his stuff though. I’m weak…