doing new things even if I'm bad at them (Patreon)

just having a good ol' time making art with various mediums and seeing what kinda results I can get. oil pastels are in high rotation, because they work great on their own or layered with other supplies like marker, gouache, or color pencil. I talk often about how I'm using traditional supplies, because digital art was my go-to for sooo long and the main way I conceptualized of making anything. I think there was a classic tension of safety and freedom going on in which I perceived digital art as "safe" (I know how to do it so I should keep doing it, if it ain't broke...) and traditional art as "freedom" (I want to do it, but don't know how and that scares me). moving outside of that and making traditional art has been so eye-opening for me and made me realize that art is vast and endlessly interesting.

it has also facilitated in deconstructing the self, identity, and ego. my previously conceived of competency with digital art proved difficult to translate to traditional art as I encountered one steep learning curve after another. whatever conception I had of being a "good" artist or an artist in general was challenged by my burgeoning inexperience with art, something I thought I had somewhat of a grasp on. it became thrilling to be "bad" at something, for what I made to fall so far out of my expectations. I thought I'd be overpowered by fear, but instead I was amused by my clear struggles and awkwardness. charmed, even. I began to relish not knowing and continually plowed forward without a meticulous plan, loose and giddy at the thought of no end goal. there will be no point at which I'll have learned everything about art, it's all just play.

I'm glad my past self decided to try new mediums in the first place and kept at it. I have so much fun expressing myself through traditional mediums and, perhaps more importantly, it has shown me that I can stomach more ambiguity than I previously thought. if the outcome isn't guaranteed, is it worth pursuing anyway? I'm learning that sometimes the best way to answer that question is to go ahead and try.

related:

2026 creative impulsivity challenge: making art out of curiosity, not fear by Anna Howard

literally just do things by Erifili Gounari

how to do things by sincere on main