A Lesson In Corruption - Chapter 1: The Deadline (Patreon)

Before you all fully indulge in the erotic story I am attempting to write I would like you all to think of this as a "beta test" Despite my many years of caption writing, I have never actually even attempted to write a longer more cohesive narrative like this. Therefore I ask you all to maintain fairly critical and honest with me about the following chapter, in terms of general language, structure, vocab, grammer, tone and length. In addition to this I would like to ask you all to answer the following questions: "Is Lou written as too horny or desperate this early?" "Is the language used to describe certain elements too horny?" "Is the writing and foreshadowing too on the nose in certain places?" Those are some specific things I would like you all to answer but I also want to read all of your generic suggestions ideas and feedback too. Without anymore rambling here is the first chapter of my erotic story titled "A Lesson In Corruption"

The most difficult choice all teenagers and young adults have to go through is choosing their major. Louis Serre, a nineteen year old young man had completely skipped that entire process. Instead of worrying about his future, he decided it was best to spend all of summer break having fun. From hanging out with his friends, to picking up girls, Lou was not at all engaged with his studies. His high school career ended on a bittersweet note, despite doing well with his school's football team, his grades were never anything to write home about and with his grades being less than ideal he did not actually have as big a choice of University courses as he might have hoped for. Deadline day was fast approaching and Lou was still not registered with any school, only a few days remained until everyone was entering higher education for the first time. Given he had left this decision to the last couple of days, moving out or picking a campus far from home was completely out of the question. Before the summer holidays had even begun he jokingly told his parents that they would be allowed to choose his major if he left it until the last minute; like he often did with most things. He would never have expected to spot his Mother in the kitchen looking through pamphlets, newspapers, and scrolling social media all in an effort to find a course for him. With her having Lou at the age of twenty-one she was only forty years of age and still relatively up to date with modern technology. Her hair, still a dark shade of brown with no signs of greying any time soon. She appeared frustrated with her son but tried to remain calm and helpful:“I honestly cannot believe you Lou. You said SIX weeks ago, you were going to find a nice school in due time and now look at the shit we are in. Do you truly understand the importance of this decision? It will dictate your future for the next four years. Yet you have been doing nothing but slacking off all summer.” She sighed loudly and continued scrolling on her phone, faint noises coming from the speakers from time to time. Lou peaked over her shoulder slightly in an attempt to make sense of what she was watching. Introduction videos to the schools nearby and the courses they offer, everything from law, mathematics and medicine. None of it caught Lou’s or her eye, nor did Lou have the qualifications required for any of the courses. Lou’s Mother began scrolling through the small pool of Uni courses that were available to him, none of them really looked all too interesting, that was until a teacher in a certain video stood out to Lou. She wasn’t like all the other professors that appeared in the other videos, they were, usually old, bored with their life and speaking in such monotone language that it put Lou and even his Mother to sleep. But the women on screen felt different to Lou, she looked different too. She was in what appeared to be only her early thirties and she was remarkably beautiful at that, her pumpkin coloured ginger hair curled its way down her body to her other even larger curves, her breasts were plump and slightly exposed given the open wh*te blouse she was wearing. Her voice was brimming with confidence and filled with authority, the way she spoke was almost hypnotising, Lou at this moment had not even read the name of the course she taught, and yet somehow he felt an indescribable pull to just agree with everything she said. Lou’s mother read through the course and its description and appeared relatively pleased with everything she was seeing, just like every other course page a video with the course leader was attached so naturally she played it for the both of them to watch:

“Hello to all prospective students! My name is Mercy Payne, but that’s Miss. Payne to you. I’m part of the team that teaches gender sciences, I specialise in covering marginalised groups such as women and black people. I’m also the year head of all first years so if you have any questions at all, you can come to me! In fact I would very much like it if you came to me. I hope to see you all here in this upcoming semester.”

Lou couldn’t help but gawk at how beautiful Miss. Payne was; like the majority of men his age, most women of any kind were incredibly attractive to him. He leaned back against the kitchen wall pondering about the video he had just watched as his Mother began blabbering about how great the course looked. “Oh wow Louie look at this one! Even with your lousy grades from high school you still meet the requirements and campus is quite close to home, you wouldn’t even have to move out!” Lou’s Mother exclaimed as this was seemingly the perfect fit for him. Given the fact he himself was not really bothered about the course or Uni he went to, he ultimately decided it best to please his mother and go along with whatever she suggested. Besides studying gender science was sure to get him finally over the line with girls he thought. Lou was nothing short of a player, he was relatively confident in speaking to women and has had many girlfriends in the past, however most of them had always rejected him right before that crucial moment of him getting lucky. His most recent relationship fell apart due to the feeling that he simply wanted ‘more’ but what more meant, he was yet to discover. Despite finding the teacher depicted in the video quite attractive and being relatively excited to be studying so close to home he had to maintain his teenage antics up and simply rolled his eyes and appeared to begrudgingly agree with his mother. He made his way back to his room and sat down at his desk to relax and process the whole situation, however before he could even lean back in his char he got interrupted by a notification popping up on his phone, it was his Mother who had sent him a link to the course they had talked about earlier, in order so he could have a closer look at it. With the deadline to even apply let alone get accepted was rapidly approaching he decided he would do the responsible thing and read through it and put in his application promptly. As far as the page itself went, it was all fairly standard, a course overview that read:

“This course will cover and examine the real historical experiences of marginalised groups and genders, paying attention to the position women have been put in over the years and how they have risen to the top. Students should expect to explore how certain voices have been systematically suppressed only to become louder than ever in recent times.”

A fairly bog-standard introduction to the course, scrolling down further Lou read over the Module List which included things such as “History of Oppression In Women and Their Rise in Power” as well as “Racial Studies And Superiority” alongside that was also included staff profiles of everyone that was expected to teach the course, for the time being only one name truly stuck out to him and that was again Mercy Payne, her description detailing how she focuses on gender power dynamics and institutional authority. Despite the photo being taken from the chest up, her breasts still dominated the image. Her long wavy ginger hair flowed all the way down, and away off-screen, and those same emerald green eyes from the video now staring directly at Lou. She held herself with great confidence and power that even in a still image made something in Lou’s stomach tighten. Lou stared just a second longer than he truly meant to, flustered he scrolled past the staff profiles and onto checking the entry requirements. All of which were relatively low. Low enough in fact, to where even he would be accepted with flying colours. The only thing left to do was to write a personal statement, upload a few documents and go through the whole procedure. Before clicking further he noticed one last section on the web page and that was quotes from previous students of the course:

“I was nervous at first, but Mrs. Payne made me feel safe and seen. You end up wanting to do everything for her, no matter what.”

“Mrs. Payne has such a way with words and truly connects with the students, by the end of my final year, it felt as though everyone in that class worshipped her like a Goddess.”

Lou didn’t really think much of the subtext behind any of the quotes and took them at face value, although naturally a page advertising the course wouldn’t have anything bad about it written on it. This Mercy Payne sounded really quite nice he thought, and honestly it eased his anxiety around the whole thing. Scrolling right on through and past the student quotes was a big green button with the words “APPLY NOW” written in bold blocky letters. Naturally he clicked it right away with no hesitation, as it took him to a fairly standard application form. It was all mostly formalities, his home address for example, which he inputted as his parents home as he still lived with his parents. For his previous grades and qualifications he unfortunately could not get away with lying and was forced to reveal just how below average his grades truly were. For his Nationality and ethnic background Lou described himself as British Wh*te, that was despite the fact that his Father was French and his Mother British, he was born in the UK. These were all fairly straight forward, that was until he came to the big box that required you to input a personal statement on why you want to study this course in particular, the prompt suggesting students focus on things such as ‘Why they want to study this subject’ ‘What they hope to gain’ as well as ‘reflect on power and position in society’ and ‘consider your own place in social structures’ Towards the end of the application process he was prompted to describe himself, he put it in simple terms writing about how he is pretty easy-going and that he doesn’t mind being told what to do and how he prefers to follow instructions in order to get the best out of himself and others. He ended his statement by reviewing his past few years of education, reflecting on how despite the fact he has had problems with time management and a general low quality of grades, he was more than a capable student and would do whatever it took to pass this course. With that he successfully submitted his university application with a major in gender science, having nothing better to do than simply wait for the response, he decided to head to bed.