God Hand E2: The Dark Souls of Double Dragon [Stage 1] (Patreon)

It’s us, the Have Fist Will Travel Rambler. Now that we’re playing the actual game, we’re powering on the PlayStation 2, scaling difficulty to player performance, applying a Nelly bandaid, wondering what the hell year this is, finding a town with nothing but bars, killing a satan, valorizing the pimp lifestyle, honing in on ass, keeping Kick Me on our back, meeting a new council of fucked up guys, unleashing a poison chihuahua, skipping a climb animation, regretting 2006’s depiction of gay men, looking at porn to increase tension, and gently closing the door. Distinguished goblins never like feet on their villain table.

00:00 Intro | 02:46 PS2 Intro | 06:43 Stage 1-0 | 23:57 Stage 1-1 | 32:03 Villain Table | 40:22 Stage 1-2 | 45:51 Stage 1-3 | 51:24 Stage 1-4 | 54:05 Stage 1-5 | 01:03:51 Real Net | 01:07:23 Outro