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Good ol' McGuffins. Came up with this bad boy in about 4 seconds with my last brain cell

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TheEnderRebel

Like the holy grail of asshole climbing enthusiasts

De_Bones

you need to be level 100 to use these

Non-Euclidean Cat

I hope there's more to the story than him just stealing them. He's a massive jerk, but I never pictured him as just a thief.