8-2-21 (Patreon)

Most people that know me know that im pretty open about my struggles. I become a soapbox on social media and in person. Im on my soapbox again this week, but my mind seems a little darker this time. I feel like I cant cry over whats hurting me, I just know that there's an ache in my chest so deep and dark I can picture what it looks like. I dont know how to correctly identify what Im feeling. Am i angry? Am i sad? Am i numb? I know im something. I know i feel hopeless, I know i find little joy in most things that I should love doing. I feel unsatisfied and fed up with my life. To make matters worse, I HATE my house. I cant even take full-body pics in ANY location without them looking like total trash. I live in college slums, so my carpets are stained to hell and they dont go away no matter how many times I shampoo them. Theres so much clutter in certain spots (most of which isnt mine) and I need to throw some broken furniture away. How am I supposed to feel better if I cant even feel good in my own home? My safe space? Its impossible.

Also please excuse my hairy nipples. I am a human girl and we grow hair in these types of places. Sorry thats not too aesthetically pleasing lol