Audio | Put down the knife bitch (Patreon)

I bet you never knew I used to do country comedy songs.  This was the most popular one.Lyrics:Darlin it's been a while, since I've seen you smile,and I must say that I miss it.All the times that we've had, some were good and some were bad,it hurts me now to hear you say it was shit.What have I done to make you so angry?  You said for richer or for poor.I thought you really loved me, now what are you getting out of that kitchen drawer?Put down the knife bitch, who do you think you are?Slashing all the tires on my brand new car.Put down the knife bitch, you're starting to piss me off.Gonna get my gun bitch and blow you're god damn head right off.I guess I knew it was over, that day I came home from work.You were having a yard sale but only my stuff was on the porch.I begged you to stay, you begged me to leave.And now you're talking to lawyers about taking everything.You brought me breakfast in bed with happiness in your eyes,well if this is orange juice, why does it taste like pesticide?I thought we could work it out, put our lives back on track,how can you say you love me with your hands around my neck?Put down the knife bitch, who do you think you are? Slashing all the tires on my brand new car. Put down the knife bitch, you're starting to piss me off. Gonna get my gun bitch and blow you're god damn head right off.Put down the knife bitch, do you really want me to die?you know I respect you bitch, and I got no reason to lie.Put down the knife bitch, i'm running out of breath.Call an ambulance bitch, are you just going to watch me bleed to death? Oh lord.