Subaru's Convenient New Curse, Part 1 (Household Object TF, Clothing TF, Re:Zero) (Patreon)

The door of his room creaked as it swung open. In bed, Subaru groaned and rolled over, blinking blearily. Urgh, what time was it? Who was disturbing him now? 

“He looks so cute when he’s asleep,” came the familiar voice of Rem. Through his half-open lids, he saw her head poking through the doorway. 

Ram snorted. “Such an adorable piece of trash. Come along, Sister. Let’s leave this piece of garbage to his beauty sleep.” She left, and after a second, Rem gave him one last little smile and turned to go as well.

Subaru lay back, sinking into the pillow with a sigh. Well, since Ram had given him permission, maybe he would enjoy a few extra winks of sleep. 

The pair’s voices receded down the hallway, growing fainter with the second. Soon, they’d gone too far for him to hear much at all, but one phrase in particular stood out to him for some reason: 

“Sister, I really need a new mop…”

Subaru snapped upright in bed, his heart pounding and his skin slick with sweat. What was going on? He felt like he’d tried to reveal Return by Death to someone, but he’d done nothing of the sort. What–? 

Even as he struggled out of bed, the curse coiled around his limbs and tightened, robbing them of their strength. With a gasp, he slumped and came to a stop on his side, on the verge of falling out of it. As he fought to move, the curse strengthened its grip on him, coiling around his body like a nest of hungry snakes and squeezing till he wanted to scream in terror. All he could do was lie there and shiver, afraid his heart would explode at any second.

Through trembling eyes, he watched his nightwear undo itself, buttons popping all on their own, and slither from his body like a living creature. His arms and his legs stretched, straightening to let it, and soon he lay in nothing but the nude, desperately hoping neither Ram nor Rem would return and see him. 

Please… he thought, straining to move. Please… Make it stop! 

The curse, however, only seemed to grow stronger. Like squirming tentacles, it worked him all over, binding his limbs and clasping his chest and sliding slowly down his body to stroke his cock, making him gasp as it pumped it. “Nnnn! St-stop!” His teeth chattered as he fought to speak. “St-Nnnn!” 

Like a pleasant hand–he could only imagine it as Emilia’s–the spell tightened its grip and slid upward, making his penis tingle in its grip, tingle and grow, hard and erect and shockingly sensitive. The pleasure surged through him, pushing a squeal out of his throat, and it took every ounce of willpower he had left to keep it inside him.

The more the spell tugged, the longer his cock grew, stretching it till it was twelve inches in length and then doubling in pace, tugging it till it was as long as his arm, then his legs, and then– By the time the spell released it, it was as long as he was tall. 

He didn’t get to appreciate this, however: even as he lay there staring in shock, the spell shifted, wrapping its slimy tentacles around the rest of him, and, as he squealed in mixed pleasure and shock, started squeezing, squeezing hard. Subaru shrieked as it folded the rest of him in half, bending his body like his spine was made of rubber and slamming his head into the back of his legs. As he struggled, his limbs–and everything else save his penis–stretched longer and longer, thinner and thinner, and just as he thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, started to split as well, breaking into tens of tiny ropes.

Nnnnn~! What’s the hell is happening to me?!

His cock, already painfully erect, grew harder than ever, tightening he wanted to scream from the pain. At the same time, it darkened, turning smooth and brown, while the rest of his form twisted its new strands around themselves, whitening in the process. By the time they stopped he could no longer move at all, not even to twitch. 

With that, the spell finally released him. 

Rolling from the bed, Subaru struck the ground with a clatter and lay there moaning inside, wishing he could scream. Wh-what had the curse done to him? He felt so small, so lifeless, so–Nnnn~!–erogenous. It was like his entire body had been squished into his penis.

As he struggled to move, the door swung open, and in stepped Rem, her blue eyes wide with concern. “Subaru? Are you okay? I thought I heard…” She came to a stop and looked around, frowning. 

Rem! On the floor, Subaru couldn’t have been more relieved. Rem, please! You have to help me! 

Instead, Rem’s eyes slid from one side of the room to the other, as if she were trying to figure out where he was hiding.

R-Rem? 

Finally, they came to his place on the floor and Rem gasped in surprise. Inside, Subaru sighed in relief. Finally! Now, please! You have to do something to–

Marching over, she grabbed him by the penis.

As Subaru squealed in horror, she wrenched him off the floor and took his cock in both hands, gripping it so hard he wanted to scream. “I’ve been looking for a new mop,” she said, sounding relieved. “I wonder where Subaru found it…” 

Through the pleasure of her touch, Subaru maintained just enough sense to squeak as this revelation. A mop?! What did she mean, a mop?! How could she possibly have mistaken him for a–?! 

Spinning him around, Rem thrust him downward, slamming what had been his arms and his legs and his head into the floor, where they parted as if they were a hundred separate pieces of flesh. Or, possibly bristles. 

When she raised him again, Subaru could only stammer in shock. She was right: he was a mop… How had this happened to him?! He couldn’t be an inanimate object! It wasn’t possible! It wasn’t–

If his disappearance had disturbed her, Rem clearly didn’t intend to let it bother her for long, because she hurried to the door with him in her hands as if she were late for an important meeting. As he swung in her grip, Subaru trembled in terror, begging and pleading for whatever force had changed him to turn him back. 

Marching through the halls of the mansion, Rem came at last to the main hall, where her sister already stood with a mop and a bucket of her own. Sticking the former into the latter, Ram gave it a good few thrusts, pulled its sodden head free, and slammed it into the floor with a squelch. Seeing this taste of his own fate, Subaru wanted to shriek in terror. 

“Oh, you found another mop?” said Ram, looking up as Rem entered. 

Rem nodded eagerly. “It was in Subaru’s bedroom.” 

“I wonder what the piece of scum was doing with it,” said Ram, blandly. “I doubt he even knows how to use one.” 

The floor shot past underneath him as Rem marched towards the bucket. Gripping Subaru’s penis even tighter (and making him squeal in fresh pleasure), she dangled him over it, giving him an instant to stare at his soapy reflection (a normal mop! a normal mop!) before she thrust his head down towards it and–

As his face crashed into the water, Subaru’s cries of pleasure cut off, silenced by a groan of disgust. The acrid tang of soap struck his taste buds, overwhelming, so strong he wanted to throw up, and with it came the awful taste of dirt as well, no doubt the same mud he’d trekked into the mansion himself.

Just as he thought he’d drown, Rem wrenched him out of the bucket and, holding him high, gave him a second to appreciate what was to come: the pale tiles of the floor seemed particularly hard and punishing this morning. 

Squelch! His face struck the floor with a sloppy wet splat, splashing the water he’d soaked up all over the tiles and striking him with a fresh blast of pain in the process. He felt like he’d been slapped. 

Rem, unaware how much she was torturing him, simply squeezed his cock and forced him forward, pushing his face across the smooth marble tiles. Subaru moaned in pain and pleasure as he slid across the chamber, leaving a trail of soapy water like snail’s slime in his wake. It felt like his tongue was being scrapped.  

For the next twenty minutes, Rem dragged him from one side of the room to the next and back again, straining his mind near to breaking point in the process. By the time she finally stopped, he was all but ready to break down in tears. Please…! Please, no more! I can’t take it anymore! Please…! 

“I think we’re finished, sister,” she said, standing back to admire their work. “My new mop was much better than I expected.” 

“Mmn,” said Ram, noncommittally. “What task is next on our list, sister?” 

“It’s time for Mistress Emilia’s mid-morning tea!” said Rem.

“Oh, of course. How could I forget?” 

Satisfied with their work, the two returned to the bucket and, before Subaru even had chance to squeal, slammed him into it. Drowned and tangled with the strings of Ram’s own mop, all he could do was writhe inside and moan as they carried him out of the main hall and off to the broom closet that was presumably his new home. 

No sooner had the door slammed than a fresh wave of tingling started to pass through Subaru’s body. He wanted to scream. What was happening to him now?! 

Like a rubber toy forced into a strange shape, Kazuma’s body slowly unfolded, his penis-turned-handle shrinking back to a more reasonable size, while his arms and legs and numerous other body parts twined themselves back together and assumed their previous shapes. 

For a moment, he dared to think he might be turning back to normal, but his new curse soon proved him wrong. No sooner had his head and his torso reappeared than they started to change again: first his gut bloated, growing fat and round and swollen and lifting his penis up in the process. He squealed, but not for long, because a second later his lips slammed shut and sealed themselves as his entire head smoothed into a perfect golden sphere. His neck stretched out into a wide cone beneath it and separated from his body, which was rapidly beginning to feel like solid stone. His legs spun themselves into a base beneath his gut, and his arms curled behind his back and joined up to form something like a handle. 

Only as his penis started to twist and twitch again did Subaru realize what was happening to him, however. N-no! No! Not again! Not–

Stretching tall and long, his penis bent one and then twice, while his urethra widened till it almost hit the sides. When it stopped it was obvious what his cock had become: a spout. A teapot’s spout. He wanted to cry out in horror. 

Coming to rest on the floor of the broom closet, he trembled inside in terror. What was going on?! Why was he turning into different objects? 

Footsteps outside. The door swung open. “Oh,” said Rem, looking down with a frown. “I don’t remember there being a teapot in here. How convenient; it’s just what I need. I only hope Ram doesn’t break this one as well…” 

Subaru could only shiver in fear. 

**

In the kitchen, Rem placed him on the counter and hurried to the oven to retrieve a kettle of hot water. Returning with it in hand, she pinched what had been his head and, as he gasped in surprise, tore it and his neck from his body, exposing the gaping hollow inside. Staring down into it, Subaru whimpered. What had happened to him? 

Placing his lid on the counter, Rem dumped some tea leaves inside him and reached for the kettle. When she poured it, he felt as if someone were pumping a tankful of hot water straight into his belly. All he could do was squeal at the heat of it, not to mention how full it left him feeling. By the time she was done, he was ready to throw up. 

Rem left him alone for a short while after that. Alone to reflect on the strange fate he was suffering and to wonder whether there was even the slightest chance it would be reversed. They’d have to notice he was missing eventually, wouldn’t they? A-and then they’d be able to figure out a way to turn him back to normal. Somehow. 

But even if they couldn’t, Return by Death should save him too, surely! O-only, how could an inanimate object die in the first place? Would it trigger if Ram dropped him, or would his mind remain stuck to the shards, forced to spend the rest of existence as nothing but a pile of broken porcelain? What if it did trigger, but it didn’t go back far enough? What if his new curse was already locked in? 

By the time Rem returned, he’d run through so many different variations of this that he could barely even think. Rem, please! he wanted to scream. Rem, please! You have to help me! Please! 

Naturally, she showed no sign she could hear him. Planting him on a platter with a cup, she picked it up and carried him out of the kitchen. They were halfway to their destination before he realized where they were going. 

W-wait! Don’t take me to Emilia! She can’t see me like this! 

Emilia sat in the parlor, engrossed in a book. As they entered, she looked up with a smile. “Oh, hello, Rem. Is that a new teapot? I don’t recall seeing it before. I like its design though–those colors are very appealing.” 

Placing the platter on the table, Rem grabbed a strainer, grasped his handle, and, as if he weighed nothing more than the teapot he’d become, raised him and tipped him, allowing his contents to flow into his spout. For Subaru, this felt a lot like needing to pee, as if all the water in his body had suddenly shifted from his gut into his bladder, and then, just as he thought the experience couldn’t possibly get any worse, as if he were actually peeing, as if he were urinating right into Emilia’s cup, and all while she sat there smiling happily. Nnnn~! R-Rem! Rem, stop! 

Finally, she planted him back on the platter and handed Emilia her teacup. “Thank you, Rem,” she said, raising it to her lips. 

Emilia! Please, don’t! Don’t do it! Don’t! 

She took a deep sip, swallowed, and exhaled with a sigh of delight.

Nooooo! 

*

Over the course of the next hour, she tortured him without mercy. Filling him till his bladder felt like it would burst, then tipping him, forcing him to empty out his contents, to pee in his beloved Emilia’s face. And then to watch as she drank it, as she drank his urine, unable to do anything to stop it from happening.

Finally, just as he thought his torment would never end, Emilia decided to head into the garden, and Subaru found himself in a new role: wrapped around Rem’s body as an apron as she baked her mistress bread. All he could do was squeal at the pressure of her breasts against the back of his transformed head.

It wasn’t his final change: every time the oni twins needed something new, he found himself shifted into its shape, no matter how degrading.

After several hours of such changes, the sun finally started to set, and Rem and Ram, their work done, swiftly made their way to the mansion’s grand bathroom. Subaru, stuck beneath Rem’s feet as a pair of servile shoes, could only moan as she walked, feeling as if she were treading on his– Nnnnn~! 

Reaching the bathroom, the two swiftly stripped off. Kicked into the corner, Subaru lay there and watched in mounting horror as the oni maids peeled off one layer of clothes after another. Soon, they were down to their underwear, and then…

If Subaru had still had a lip, he would have bitten it and blushed. It-it wasn’t right, him seeing Rem and Ram like this. …But what he wouldn’t give to get a little closer to them anyway. Emilia wouldn’t mind, would she? After all, he wasn’t even a guy at the moment–he was just a pair of shoes, and shoes can’t be perverts, can they? 

Rem dropped her panties. Subaru squealed.

As the two finally stepped into the bath, a new wave of tingling passed through Subaru’s body. At first he assumed it was something to do with his libido, but it had soon grown so strong even that couldn’t explain it. 

Before his eyes (or lack thereof), his altered body started to change again, flattening out, as if crushed by an invisible foot several hundred sizes too large for it. Subaru could only scream, scream and whine at the pleasure–his entire body felt like a single erogenous organ, sensitive all over, and with every second, the sensation grew even worse. Steadily, he spread across the floor, assuming a large, flatter, and more rectangular shape. At the same time, he gained a strange lightness, as if every hard part of his body had become a thousand times softer. What was happening to him this time?! 

Finally, the change came to a stop. All Subaru could do was lie there and wait for answers. 

Eventually, Rem and her sister emerged from the baths. While Ram grabbed her towel from the rack, Rem approached him with a frown. “Sister, do you recall this towel being here before?” 

T-towel? thought Subaru. 

Ram looked at her with a frown. “Perhaps. But perhaps not. I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Stooping, Rem bent down and picked him up. “It’s very soft,” he said, pinching him. Subaru blushed twice over, partly because of the compliment, and partly because it felt like she was rubbing his– “It is Subaru’s?” she asked. “It has his colors…” 

“Bold of you to assume that piece of trash bathes,” said Ram, working her own towel over her legs. 

“I suppose he wouldn’t mind if I borrowed it, would he?” said Rem, more to herself than anything, because her mind was clearly made up. Before Subaru could even consider what she was suggesting, she took him and, without hesitation, slammed him into her chest. 

As his face (and the rest of the front of his body, penis included), crashed into Rem’s breasts, Subaru could only squeal in pleasure and shock. R-R-Rem was using him–Rem was using him as her towel. H-he was rubbing against her, rubbing against her boobs. Nnnn~! He could even feel her nipples, her hard little nipples, digging into his fabric. Nnnnn! Rem! Oh, Rem! Nnnn! Oh God!

Rem used him like the towel he’d become, pressing him hard against her body and working him slowly downward, down, down, and leaving him to enjoy every delightful inch of skin he passed. Sliding slowly down her breasts, he came to her stomach first, where she rubbed him in circles over her soft, smooth belly. From there, she moved him to her back and worked him squealing across her shoulder blades and down her spine, all the way to her tailbone. Staring at her buttocks, exposed like he’d never before seen them, Subaru felt a sudden crash of guilt. He’d do anything to touch them, but at the same time, he knew he–

Of course, it didn’t matter what he thought at the moment–he was just a towel, and before he knew it, Rem had taken him and slapped him against them, leaving him squealing in fresh lust as his soft new fabric slid against the wonderful globes. They were so soft. So soft and squishy. He wanted nothing more than to hug them forever. 

Unfortunately, there were other parts of Rem’s body that needed drying, not least her legs. Snatching him from her butt, she wrapped him around one of her thighs and worked him up and down it, up and down, till he was all but ready to lose his mind from joy. Repeating the process with her other leg, she soon moved down them and brought him to her feet, leaving him to whimper and whine inside as he scraped his front against her soles. It felt like she was stepping on him all over again, only this time, it felt even better. He’d never wanted to scream more in his life. 

Finally, just as he thought things couldn’t get any better, Rem raised him to the one part of her body that still remained wet, and Subaru froze in terror, wondering if he’d finally reached a line he shouldn’t cross. R-Rem! he cried. Rem, wait! Please! It’s me, Subaru! It’s Subaru! It’s–! 

He didn’t get chance to finish, not that it really mattered: taking him like the piece of fabric he was, she slipped him between her legs and started to work him forward and back, forward and back, leaving him screaming as his face rubbed against her soft, hairless pussy.

By the time she finished, he wanted to cry. E-Emilia! Emilia! I’m sorry! I’m not fit to marry you anymore…! 

*

Afterward, the two retreated to their quarters, where Rem tossed him into a basket to be washed in the morning. Subaru spent the night lying there in terror, the enjoyment he’d gotten from experiencing Rem’s body swiftly fading, to be replaced by the general malaise of being trapped as an inanimate object. What was the point of getting to touch a girl’s body if you couldn’t do anything else? It wasn’t worth it at all! 

By the time the sun finally rose again, he was on the verge of despair. Was he really going to spend the rest of his life stuck as cleaning products and laundry?!

As Rem stirred in her bed, rolling onto her side and tugging the blanket a little tighter, Subaru felt a fresh tingling and realized the curse was about to strike him again. Oh no… What am I becoming this time?! 

First, his fabricized body unfolded and stretched, growing wider and wider. Then, as if he’d come under the dressmaker’s scissors, it suddenly split, separating into four distinct sections. Like fish out of water, these quarters of him squirmed and shook and, finally, started to shrivel, thinning out and curling around to form thin loops of cloth. Two of them assumed a more triangular shape, while the other pair sprouted larger pieces of fabric: two each, though one’s were slightly larger than the other’s. 

Only as the shifting and the shriveling stop did Subaru finally realize what he was becoming. If he’d still had cheeks, he would have blushed. N-no. No! I can’t be–! I can’t be their–!

With a yawn, Rem stretched and rolled out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she stood. Beside her, Ram rose with a sigh, looking even grumpier than normal. 

Making her way to their drawer, Rem pulled it open. And froze. “Sister,” she said. “Forgive me, but it seems I’ve forgotten to prepare any clean underwear for us to wear.” 

Ram sighed. “We can always wear an old pair for a day. No one will notice.” 

Rem’s eyes turned to the washbasket and with it, him. Inside, Subaru shivered in terror. This couldn’t be happening to him. “These pairs look clean,” she said, leaning down to pick up one of his new halves.” It couldn’t be happening. 

Ram marched over and grabbed her own pair and soon, before he even knew what was happening, the two of them were putting him on. Subaru squealed as their feet slipped through the holes of his lower halves, leaving him feeling as if they’d stuffed their toes up his asshole. By the time he reached their thighs, he was ready to break–he felt as if he’d tear to pieces at any second. 

Releasing their new panties with a snap, the pair wasted no time in putting on his upper halves as well, slipping their arms through his straps and clasping them with a click. As their breasts fell into his embrace, Subaru could only squeal at the weight–it felt as if he were being used to support a pair of boulders. Especially Rem’s! 

“I don’t remember owning such a comfortable set of lingerie,” said Rem, stepping back to examine herself in the mirror. 

“Mmn,” agreed Ram, adjusting his cups with a frown. Subaru could only shiver. 

As the two put on their uniforms, throwing him into the dark, he lay wrapped around them, pulled tight, and trembled in fear, ready to break at any second. Was this it? Was this what his life was going to be like from now on? Snapped from one shape to the next each time they needed another item? How could his life possibly get any worse?! 

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Ram. “We need to clean the lavatories today. Did you purchase a new brush?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot,” said Rem. “But I’m sure we’ll find one around if we look!” 

Beneath her dress, Subaru wanted to scream.