A Treacherous Transfer Student (School Supplies TF, Fate) (Patreon)

Homurahara Academy Class 2-C chatted among themselves as they poured into the classroom, talking about today’s lessons, tomorrow’s test, who was dating who now, and what they were going to do on the weekend…

Hidden among them, Shirou fought the crowd to reach his seat, looking back only to check Saber was still following him. She shuffled along, gripping the strap of her school bag with self-conscious tightness, looking exactly as awkward as you’d expect a reincarnated 5th-century king to be in her situation. Catching him watching her, she blushed.

As the two of them settled into their chairs, he smiled at her. “How are you feeling? Ready for another day of school?” 

Saber managed to blush even harder. When he’d first proposed this idea, she’d been enthusiastic, but a couple of days in the Japanese education system had soon wrung that out of her. 

At the front of the room, Miss Tanaka cleared her throat. “Alright, class. Before we begin, I have an announcement to make!” They all stopped talking. “We have a new transfer student!” 

“Another one?!” said Shinji, two seats down. “But we only just got one…” 

Ignoring this, Miss Tanaka clapped her hands. The door swung open, and into the room stepped…

Shirou dropped his pencil. 

…a beautiful lavender-haired girl, slender and lithe with deep blue eyes and a schoolbag, which she clung to like a comfort blanket as she rushed to the front of the class, her skirt swishing around her thighs with all the delicateness of an unplucked flower. 

He tore his eyes away from her with a cough, blushing all over. Wh-who was she? She was the prettiest girl he’d ever–

He risked a quick glance at Saber to see if she’d caught him staring, but to his surprise, she was less focused on him and more on the new student. She looked like she’d just seen a long-dead friend walk back into her life again.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Do you know her?” 

He had to repeat his question twice before Saber took any notice. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel like I recognize her from somewhere.” 

“This is Lily Colchis,” said Ms. Tanaka, as the lavender-haired girl took up a place beside her. 

Lily bowed so hard she almost toppled over. “G-good morning, e-everyone. N-nice to meet you all.” And with this minimal greeting achieved, she rushed for her seat.

As she passed him, something strange happened: for an instant they locked eyes, and her demure expression vanished, replaced by an infinitely slyer one. She winked. 

Then, just like that, she was past, and the moment was gone. 

Shirou stared at the blackboard, struggling to think. What was that about? She couldn’t… Was she flirting with him?

*

Medea settled into her seat with a silent snort of derision. The look on his face! He’d actually thought she was flirting with him! 

As the teacher resumed her regular routine, Medea placed her stationary on the desk and smiled. As far as plans went, this was definitely one of her more outrageous ones, but, oh, after seeing Shirou’s face… she already knew it was one of her best. 

It was dear Souichirou who’d given her the idea, of course – after all, he was a teacher here. Casting a glamour to convince the rest of the school she was a student had been trivial. At first, she’d simply intended to act out some naughty roleplay, but her reconnaissance of the academy had revealed half the Masters in the Grail War were studying here and forced her to change priorities. 

She risked another glance at ‘Saiba Emiya’. The blonde looked back – Medea smiled at her. Clearly she wasn’t the only one who’d had the idea of roleplaying.

Saber, of course, was her primary target, hence why she was sitting here in Emiya’s class, instead of Souichirou’s. With her high Magic Resistance, she was a Caster’s natural enemy, but if she could somehow be subverted, she might even become her greatest asset. It would be difficult, of course – she’d have to move carefully. She’d already seen a little suspicion on her face when she’d entered: clearly the glamour was struggling with her Magic Resistance. 

But it should hold for a few days at the minimum. It was one of the most powerful illusions she knew, and she’d cast it with Saber in mind. It was so strong, it might even affect her, if she weren’t careful to keep up the counterspells.

Ms. Tanaka finished her little speech, and their homeroom period wound down to an end. As the bell rang, Medea laced her fingers and smiled like the puppetmaster she was. 

Now, the only question that remained was: ‘which victim to begin with?’ 

Saber glanced at her again; Medea gave her a friendly wave.

***

The schoolbell rang; Class 2-C flew from their seats and spilled into the corridor. 

Shirou and Saber went together, heading home hand-in-hand. Medea, meanwhile, went in the opposite direction, walking as fast as her shortened legs would carry her. 

Being a student had proved harder than she’d expected: she’d had so much work to do, she’d barely been able to focus on her real objective. Fortunately, she’d been able to sneak away and do a little scrying during lunch. Just enough to know who she should target first, and where she’d find them. 

She crossed the courtyard to the gym and the girls’ changing rooms. Inside, she stepped into a cubicle, locked the door, and conjured her crystal ball. They should be here any second now…

Despite the scrying glass, she heard them before she saw them – in fact they were so loud she could probably have heard them from the other side of the school.

“Like my new heels, Tohsoka? Here, why don’t you try them yourself!” 

“Luvia, you whore–! I’ll– Hey! You bitch! That almost hit me!” 

“Ow! What did you do that for?!” 

Medea rolled her eyes in disdain. To think that one of her fellow Masters could care about such a petty conflict in the middle of a Grail War. It made her want to march in there, grab them both by the twintails, and shake them!

Or she could just turn them into school supplies. That would also work.

The other girl in the changing room, the one with drill tails – she was a complication, but not one Medea hadn’t expected. It was a shame to have to get rid of such a beautiful woman, but she was a magus too, and Medea didn’t want to risk Archer or anyone else contracting with her. 

Also, she couldn’t stand that smug laugh of hers. 

With a smile, she placed her hands on the glass and started to cast.  

*

The shoe sailed over Rin’s head and struck the locker with a smack. “You bitch!” She snatched it up and tossed it back. “That almost hit me!” 

Luvia dodged, but it bounced off the wall behind her and slammed into her head anyway. “Ow! What did you do that for?!” 

“What do you mean ‘what did you do that for?!’? You threw it at me first, you…!” Rin took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. They were in the middle of a Grail War, she reminded herself. A Master like her had more important things to focus on than the busty blonde witch in front of her. Ugh, she just wanted to march over, grab her by the twintails, and shake her. 

She took another breath. Hold it together, Rin.

When she opened her mouth to say something diplomatic, however, a wave of pins and needles shook her nervous system. She froze, squinting. That was strange… It almost felt like someone had tried to cast a spell on her.

“What is it?” said Luvia. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Rin scowled. Her fellow magus wouldn’t stoop quite so long as to cast a curse on her, would she? They were pretty competitive, but it was only for fun – Luvia wasn’t even a Master.

Nor was she showing any signs of having cast anything. In fact, she looked just as confused as Rin was. 

Whatever the source of the sensation, it soon passed, leaving them both standing there and glaring at each other. After a moment, Rin began to wonder if it had ever existed at all. Perhaps she’d simply imagined it. 

The spell struck her like lightning, slamming straight into her head and snapping her spine straight with its energy. Her mouth flew open just long enough to gasp before instantly snapping shut again, and her teeth chattered like they were trying to escape it.

She wasn’t the only one afflicted: not two meters away, Luvia stood rigid, her eyes wide in terror as little arcs of magical energy danced up and down her body. 

Their school clothes smoldered, and with a whoosh of flame, caught fire. Rin squealed again, but it was clearly the magical kind: there was no heat nor any pain, only the distinct embarrassment of watching her clothing disintegrate. It only took seconds, and by the time it was finished she was so red she looked like she was wearing her favorite sweater instead. 

Nnn~! Rin squirmed, but the spell was impossible to break free of, even with Reinforcement. She tried to muster a counterspell instead, but that was no more effective. Just who was casting it?! How could it possibly be so strong?!

Another jolt of magical energy struck her, and with a silent moan she and Luvia floated into the air. Rin squirmed, but her invisible shackles were impossible to break. 

Luvia struggled against her own restraints with an imperious snarl. “T-Tohsoka?! What is the meaning of–Nnnnnn~!” Her eyes rolled back as she coursed with fresh prana. She gasped as her arms snapped to her sides and her legs slammed together, and her clit–

Rin blinked. 

–and her clit stretched till it was long and sharp and pointy – phallic, if you ignored the fact it ended in a perfect point. 

As Luvia squealed, her legs hid behind her back, and her hips thrust themselves forward as if they wanted to emphasize it, though the expression on her face suggested everything but. “Nnnn~! Nnnnnnah! Ah! Ah! Oh…!” 

Rin had her own troubles to worry about, however: like playful hands, the spell caressed her, and where its invisible fingers passed, her flesh changed like a clay on the wheel. Like Luvia’s, her legs bent back, curling up behind her, and she thrust her hips forward as if to better show off her sex. Unlike Luvia’s, her clit remained the same size as normal, which was a mercy. The rest of her vagina, on the other hand, had other ideas: 

A shocking tension in her sex, as if someone had tried to prize her labia apart with a crowbar. Rin screamed as it spread, puffing out and rounding till it was a giant hole of flesh, large enough to fit a fist through. Even when it stopped, the tension remained, sending shivers of pleasure surging through her nerves each time she so much as wiggled. And it was difficult to stop herself: Nnn~! She thought, squirming in frustration. What is it doing to us?! 

Luvia’s hair rippled like someone was running their hands through it, and her giant drill-tails unspooled and drooped to the floor like a pair of golden rivers. Even as she squealed, they snapped back into life like long, blonde serpents, and with frightening speed, coiled around her. Luvia gasped as they mummified her legs, working upward. Soon, only her head and her sex remained free.

Rin’s skin tightened. As she winced at the strangeness of the sensation, it crackled too, like breaking ice. To her horror, the redness she’d taken to be blushing became deeper and deeper till she was burgundy all over. And hard, too. When she squirmed, her legs clacked against each other.

Luvia’s locks had finished coiling around her now, and as she shook and writhed in protest, they set about constricting her, squeezing till her face turned as red as Rin’s body. And it didn’t stop with her face: soon, her whole head had turned the same shade, and something silver and glinting had sprouted from her neck to wrap around her like a collar. She squirmed, and her long blonde locks squeezed her thinner and thinner.

Now a crushing pressure struck her from all sides – from six of them, specifically. She managed one final gasp as her arms flattened against her and her legs squeezed into her back, as her head became nothing more than the upper third of the block that now formed her body. With her greater density came greater sensitivity: the spell tickled her, and she squealed, losing her mind to the ecstasy.

Luvia wasn’t doing much better: she moaned as her clit stretched out and outward, the hard black tip of her soft beige vagina. Together they formed a sharp cone at the end of her body, which, thinned by her crushing hair, looked increasingly like an upside down rocket. Even her head had flattened out to better represent the nozzle – all she was missing was the fins.

Rin’s teeth tingled; she tasted metal. Was she bleeding? The answer was no, but the truth was almost worse: her teeth had turned a bright silver, glittering, and as she opened her mouth to scream, a pair of invisible hands yanked it open wider than ever, dragging it down, down, down, stretching it as they worked till it sat in the center of her torso, large enough to span her from chin to navel. Her teeth shone and fused, forming a bright steel blade, and at the taste of it, Rin realized what she was becoming. N-no! I can’t be a–

The spell squeezed them both one last time, instantly crushing them to less than a percent of their former size, and with that, it released them. Rin screamed in her head as they fell a million miles to the floor, which they struck with a clack, bounced off, and rolled a few times before stopping.

This can’t be happening, thought Rin, fighting to move. This can’t be happening…! 

A cubicle door opened, and out into the room stepped a figure Rin didn’t recognize. Striding towards them, she stooped and picked them up. 

“My,” said their lavender-haired captor. “You didn’t put up much resistance at all, in the end, did you Tohsoka?” 

Wh-who are you?! Rin wanted to cry. Was she an enemy? One of her fellow Masters, or…? Ah! 

“Oh, just one of your fellow students.”

With a chuckle, she tucked them into her pocket. 

***

Saber glared at Lily Colchis; Lily smiled and waved back. Sauntering into the classroom, her skirt swishing with unspeakable arrogance, she marched past Saber’s desk and took up her seat behind her. 

There’s something off about you, thought Saber. She might not know what it was, but that didn’t mean she was just going to sit around and let herself get distracted while–

Shirou swore. “Dammit, my pencil keeps snapping. And I lost my sharpener again!” He turned to her. “Saber, can I borrow yours?” 

“Hmm?” What had she been thinking about again? “Oh, um, sure–” 

As she reached for her pencil case, however, someone coughed. “You can have my pencil Shirou.” With the friendliest smile Saber had ever seen on a human face, Lily passed Shirou a bright yellow HB and a deep burgundy pencil sharpener. 

“Th-thanks,” he said, turning almost as red as the latter. 

As Shirou set about sharpening his pencil, Lily leaned back in her seat with an expression of triumph. 

Saber shot her another glare, but her fellow student simply smiled at her.

“Tch…” Shirou, meanwhile, had slipped his new pencil into his pencil case, wherein it instantly fell through the hole. “I should really get a new one of these too…”

***

Medea marched through the corridor with a confident expression, sharp on the tail of her latest target: Sakura Matou walked not ten meters ahead, her violet hair clear through the heads of her fellow students.

As she trailed her, Medea thought of the way Shirou had blushed when she’d handed him Rin, and blushed herself. He was such a cutie. She couldn’t believe he hadn’t figured out who she was yet – he was going to be so shocked when she stripped off her mask and turned him into her new shoes or something. 

Her target turned the corner; she picked up the pace, lest she lose her. Finally, her prey reached the restroom. She stepped inside, and after a moment, Medea followed her. 

A thud sounded from a cubicle at the far end of the room. Medea hurried towards it, her school shoes clacking against the tiles, and entered the one next door. Placing her hands on the wall, she pressed her ear to it – if she listened very carefully, she could almost make out Sakura’s breathing. 

Now, what should she make this one into…? She thought about this for a second, working her jaw. Hmm. Hmmmmm. …Ah! 

Licking her lips, she started to chant her incantation. 

*

Sakura hummed as she washed her hands. 

Things were beginning to improve lately. They’d been pretty hectic at the start of the Grail War, but after the initial chaos they’d really quietened down. Now her life was almost back to normal. She was almost enjoying – or at least tolerating – it again.

Plucking her hands from under the dryer, she turned to go. But as she reached the door, a strange sensation struck her. It was like they was something in the air, something moving towards her, growing stronger and stronger with every second, until–

“R-Rider!” 

With a flash, her Servant stood before her, Nameless Daggers raised in a defensive pose. Something crashed into them and exploded – it took Sakura a moment to recognize it as a spell.

“Get behind me,” said her Servant. Sakura didn’t need much convincing.

“Tcht.” A nearby cubicle swung open, and out strolled a young woman with lavender hair and deep blue eyes. Sakura squinted, trying to figure out where she knew her from. “Why are you here, Rider? I thought that worthless blue-haired boy was your Master. I only came for this one out of caution.” She sighed. “Well, nevermind. Since you’re here, I’ll just eliminate the two of you together.” She raised her hand.

Rider shot forward with a crack of broken air–

–and immediately slammed to a stop, her arms and legs caught in a web of glinting light. She struggled, but she might as well have been clapped in irons.

“Much better,” said the lavender-haired girl, with a smug grin of confusion. “Now, what should I do with you, you pathetic excuse for a Servant…? Ah, I know… My good friend Shirou will need something to carry all his new toys in.” 

Sakura flinched. Shirou? Was this his–?

She didn’t get chance to think about it further, because that was the moment their attacker decided to smite Rider with a lightning bolt. The Servant screamed, writhing in her restraints, while the lavender-haired girl stood there and laughed.

As Sakura stared, her Servant snapped straight, her arms wrenched towards the ceiling and her legs tied tightly together. Thus bound, she shook, snapping the threads straight her frustration, but only for so long:

Caster twisted her wrist; Rider’s screams intensified. And as she writhed, she scrunched, folded up like a piece of paper. Her legs collapsed into her hips, her arms flattened, and her head mouth opened wide… an instant before her entire head collapsed into her torso. Sakura squealed. 

With a crinkling like a crumpled can, Rider shrank, and shrank, and shrank some more, assuming a flatter, cuboid shape in the process. Her arms joined up behind her back, forming a long strap, and her hair flipped over her face, covering it as a flap. Her clothes tightened till they were inseparable from her skin, which took on a rougher, matte texture to match them. 

Finally, she spasmed one last time and dropped, striking the floor of the restroom as a simple, if somewhat strangely-colored schoolbag.

Sakura squealed and dropped to the floor as well. “N-no. No.” 

Caster – it could only be Caster – marched towards her, shoes clacking against the tiles. “And now for you.” 

The spell took her in the chest, throwing her back against the wall. Like an electric shock, it caught her fingers and surging, tingling through her, making her jerk and gasp and snap upright, her legs tight together and her arms locked against her sides. She struggled to move, but she couldn’t even make her toes wiggle. All she could do was stand there and stare, her eyes shaking in their sockets. Wh-what is–?

A snapping sound, like someone playing with a lighter, and with a whoosh, her uniform went up in flames. She squealed as it vanished, instantly consumed, and took her underwear with it, freeing her boobs to bounce into the open and jiggle. She squealed again, fighting to cover them up, but no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn’t tear her arms from her sides. 

Wh-what’s going on?! What is she doing to me?!

As if in answer, the spell tightened its grip on her body, making her gasp. Surging up and down her body, it passed through her sex and set it a-tingling. She screwed up her eyes and whimpered, her nipples hardening into a pair of little cherries. Nnn~! Wh-what is it–?! 

Like a pair of ghostly hands, the spell forced its way into her vagina, stretching her labia wide, wide around as it wiggled its way deep. Sakura squealed and struggled to escape, but the spell was like iron manacles, and no matter how hard she thrashed, she just couldn’t break it. The pressure inside her made her want to scream, but she couldn’t do that either – all she could do was stand there and take it. 

A tremor passed through her, making her skin ripple like a flag. Where it passed, her flesh changed color, taking on the same shade of deep purple as her hair, and started to sag: her arms melted into her sides, her legs fused together, and her head began to sink into her torso, cutting her squeals off as her jaw met her sternum. Nnn~! H-help! Someone help me! 

Her vagina pulsed, striking her with a pang of ecstasy greater than anything she’d ever felt. As she screamed, it stretched again, growing larger and wider, and more notably, taller. It sliced upward from her groin, up and on up, up through her torso, till she looked like she’d been cut open. Her clit, rubbing her chin, tingled and turned silver, and two rows of bright silver teeth sprouted from the sides of the incision. Nnnnn~! Stooop! 

Her vagina pulsed again, growing deeper. Sakura gasped at the sudden sense of emptiness – she felt someone had scooped out everything inside her and left the empty sack of her skin to fall loose. Nnn~! 

With a squelching sound, the last remnants of her human form collapsed into the formless sack of her torso, and her clitoris, flattening out, sped downward, yanking all the tiny metal teeth of her vagina shut in the process. Sakura screamed in exquisite pleasure. 

With one final flash of magic, she shrank till she was barely the size of her own head, and with that, the spell collapsed. She dropped. 

An instant before she hit the tiles, a soft white hand snatched her out of the air. “Perfect,” said the girl with lavender hair. “He’s going to love you.” 

Sakura screamed as their fingers caught her clit.

***

Shirou’s pens and pencils struck his desk with a clatter.

Watching them roll all over, ending up on the floor in several cases, Saber winced. “Haven’t you bought a new case yet?”

He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’ve just been so busy thinking about the Grail War and stuff.” 

Saber rolled her eyes. She doubted that: the Grail War was going through a strange lull at the moment. Rin had disappeared, as had Rider and her mysterious Master. Ilya and Berserker didn’t seem to have made a move recently either, and as for Caster… Who knew? No, as far as she could tell, she was the only one who still cared about the Grail War at the moment.

“Shiiiiiiiirou!” 

Saber’s eye twitched. She’d been hoping Lily’s absence meant she was sick…

“Shiiiiiiiirou!” Rushing up to his desk, Lily presented him with something. “You needed a new pencil case, right?” 

Shirou blinked a few times as what was happening settled in, and instantly turned bright red. “I-I do,” he said, taking it from her delicately. “Th-thank you, Lily.” 

“It’s nothing,” she said. “Anything for you, Shirou.” 

As Lily took her own seat, Saber scowled. Shirou was staring at his new pencil case as if it were the most valuable thing in the world. “It’s just a cheap pencil case…”

Shirou looked at her like she’d insulted his mother.

**

Lily crept through the school like a professional burglar, keen to avoid the eyes of her fellow students and their teachers. She didn’t want to know what it would look like if they caught her spying on this part of the school. 

Her next target, Illyasviel von Einzbern – Master of Berserker – stood not fifty meters away, kicking a pebble as if to punish its disobedience. 

Watching her, Lily felt a strange sense of kinship. A part of her was tempted to spare her, even. But then, no matter how alike they were, she was the Witch of Betrayal. Chuckling to herself, she raised her hands and prepared to cast. 

But as the Divine Words formed on her lips, she felt the strangest sensation. Dropping the spell, she looked back. Was someone spying on her? She chewed her lip, wondering what she should do. Who could it even be? Rin was a pencil sharpener; Shinji was a trashcan, and his Servant was a schoolbag. The only ones left were her and that bastard priest, but he shouldn’t be anywhere around here, and even if he were, Lancer was no threat to her anyway, so who–?

Belatedly, it occurred to her that there was one more Master at Homurahara Academy.

She whirled around, heart pounding. Surely Shirou wouldn’t…?! Not to her, surely?!

No. No. It didn’t matter anyway: whoever they were, they weren’t close enough to stop her. She’d deal with Illya first, then she could focus on finding them next.

Returning her gaze to Miss Eizbern, she raised her hands and started to chant: a ball of mana, bright pink and crackling, formed in her hands, growing larger and brighter, till it threatened to scorch her. At last, she spoke the trigger word, and with a shriek like a rocket, the spell shot out of her hands and sailed across the playground towards poor, startled Illya. 

The Master of Berserker didn’t get much time to react. Clearly she hadn’t expected an attack to come at school, if she’d been expecting one like this at all. She had just enough time to turn in the spell’s direction, for her eyes to open wide, for the first syllable of a scream to escape her lips, and with that–

The spell struck her in the stomach, doubling her over with the force of its impact. The instant it dissipated, she snapped straight again, already working towards a counterspell, but even the prized Magecraft of the Einzberns couldn’t compare to Lily’s. Even as Illya raised her hands to perform the magical gestures, the spell seized them and snapped them against her sides, holding her in place as surely as a straitjacket. Illya squirmed, her face pale with true panic, but she could do little more than emit a few feeble squeaks. 

With that, it was a foregone conclusion, and what happened happened swiftly enough Lily almost missed it by blinking: firstly, her body, already held so rigidly by the spell, snapped tighter than ever, so tight she could barely breathe let alone make any more attempts to stop it. As her eyes trembled in their sockets, the thinnest crack spread up her left side, baring a hideous, internal light, and as it stretched, revealed not muscles and bone, but sheet after sheet of rustling white paper. 

With a creak, Illya opened like a book, opened and opened, till she was a whirling cylinder of a smooth, lined A4. It spun in the air for a second or two, then snapped shut, and the twisted flesh covering its front and its back hardened into a deep purple cover. With that it shrank to less than a sixth of its size and fell, striking the floor with a loud smack. 

Lily couldn’t help but snicker. 

With a quick check to make sure she wasn’t about to be attacked, she hopped out of her hiding place and skipped across the playground to where her latest victim lay sad and inanimate on the ground: a luxurious purple notebook with golden filigree and bindings and bright white, almost silvery pages. 

Shirou would love it! 

Hugging the notebook to her chest, Lily spun in delight at the thought, and – all danger forgotten – turned to run back to the school building.

…Almost impaling herself on Saber’s sword in the process. 

“Ah!” With a squeak, she stumbled back, tripped, and ended up on her butt. 

Saber pressed her sword against her throat. “Caster,” she said, quite simply.

Lily swallowed. C-crap! 

*

“Undo your spell,” said Saber, tightening her grip on her sword. 

‘Lily’, or whatever her real name was, cocked her head. “Undo my spell? Which one? You mean this?” She held up Illya. 

Saber flinched. Her sword jerked in her hand, nicking Caster’s neck in the process – the girl squeaked. “Y-you know which spell I mean! This whole week, I’ve felt you trying to get in my head! I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but it stops right now!” 

Lily blinked. “I-I– I don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

“Liar!” Grabbing her by the hair, Saber wrenched her into the air and held her with the tip of her sword against her breast. “Stop it, right now! Or I’ll–” 

“Saber!” 

Saber whirled. “Shirou?!” 

“Let her go, Saber!” He stood not three meters behind her, his arm raised and his Command Seals exposed.

Saber could only gawp at them. “Sh-Shirou… I–” 

“Put her down.”

“B-but… But she’s Caster!” 

Shirou furrowed his brow. “Of course she’s not Caster. She’s not even a Master. Do you think I’d miss the fact my own girlfriend has a Servant?” 

“G-girlfriend?!” Lily clutched her cheeks and squealed in delight. “Y-you really mean it?!” 

“G-girlfriend?!” Saber couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “B-but, she can’t be your girlfriend, she’s… she’s…” 

Shirou turned his arm so the Command Seals were facing her. “Drop her, Saber.” 

Saber flinched in shock. “I-I-I–” 

“Drop her.” One of the Seals flashed. 

Saber’s hands snapped open: Caster and Excalibur dropped to the floor. Saber ignored them – she simply stood there and stared at the man who had been her Master. “I don’t– I don’t under–”

She never saw the spell that struck her.

It crashed into the base of her spine, snapping her straight with the force of its impact and making her writhe as its magical energy coursed through her. “Nnnaaaaaaaah~!” Her armor rattled like a tin roof in a hurricane. 

Of course, one simple spell wouldn’t be enough to defeat her. Gritting her teeth, she reseized control of her body, clenched her fists, and whirled on Lily Colchis, who squeaked as she raised a hand to hit her. 

“Eek!” Squealing, Lily covered her face. “Sh-Shirou! Tell her to turn off her Magic Resistance!” 

Saber paled. “W-wait! Don’t you d–” 

“Saber! Turn off your Magic Resistance!” Another Seal flashed. 

“N-no. No, I–” She screamed as the Command Seal joined in on the assault, making her body jerk and her fingers twitch like she’d been struck by lightning. 

Caster took the chance to renew her own attack: Saber writhed as it surged through her, taking her limbs and snapping them straight and making her shake like a tree in a whirlwind. “Nnnn~! Ah! Ahhhhhhh!” Through the pain of its twisting, warping touch, she fought to resist, to stop it, and more importantly, to make sense of what had happened. “Nnnnnah!”

Flowing down through her body, the spell settled in her gut, and there it kindled a terrible heat, which spread outward and out through her, boiling her flesh like soup on the hob. She gasped, doubling over and clasping at her groin as the heat reached her sex, instantly reigniting her long extinguished libido. “Nnnnnah!” 

In different circumstances, she might have torn her armor off and fingered herself right there, but before she had a chance, the spell gave her something else to think about: like dough in the oven, her flesh bloated and swelled, rapidly thickening, till her once slender form was buried under a mound of jiggling fat. She squealed, her voice husky; her armor creaked, straining to hold her. “Nn~!” 

Like mud in the sun, her skin hardened and cracked and split into a million tiny white fragments, steaming and hot. Even as she sniffed, scenting a familiar, delicious scent, something popped: dropping her gaze, she squealed to see her nose had turned into a cherry tomato.

Even as she struggled to process this, her hair shivered, and her short blonde locks fused into small leaves of cabbage, while her ears popped into two large pieces of cauliflower, and the scent of chicken wafted up from her breasts, which seemed plumper with every second. Her bodice strained to contain them.

Her core continued to heat up till almost unbearable. Closing her eyes, which looked increasingly like onions, Saber doubled over, slamming her legs together to keep her hands from creeping between them. With every moment they – and the rest of her body – seemed a little thicker.

No! In desperation, she snatched up her sword and whirled on her attacker. She never got a chance, however: the instant she raised it, Excalibur shimmered and shrank, reduced from a legendary sword to a simple pair of chopsticks. She stood there and stared at it, her onion eyes blinking. 

“Too late,” said Caster. 

As Saber lurched in shock, the spell renewed its assault on her. Like a sheet of metal being beaten on the anvil, her armor stretched to cover her every exposed scrap of her flesh. Saber squealed as it swept over her head, trapping it in the dark of a tight, visorless helmet. 

With the dark came a terrible, crushing pressure, like she was being squeezed from all sides by a giant, merciless vice. Her armor crinkled and cracked and, finally, collapsed, squishing her altered body into a cuboid inside it. She screamed, but she barely had the strength left to speak, let alone stop it.

“Shirou…! H-help me! 

“Shirou… 

“Help…” 

*

With one final crack of settling metal, Saber finished shrinking and dropped to the ground. Lily, who’d been waiting for this moment, flicked her finger, and the former Servant floated through the air and into her hand. She stroked her with an insidious grin. 

Shirou blinked as if awakening from trance. “L-Lily? What just happened? Was there somebody else here?” 

She gave him a pleasant smile. “No-one, honey. Just the wind.” When he still looked concerned, she held out the box. “Look, I brought you something!” 

His eyes went wide in delight. “You made me a bento?” he asked, unable to hide his smile. 

Lily struggled to conceal one of her own. “That’s right! I made it myself! It’s got all your favorites in it!” She popped the lid, revealing the assortment of delicious foods nestled snugly in the soft blue napkin lining the box. The steam hit his nostrils; his eyes lit up; his stomach rumbled. 

Taking it from her, he held it to his chest like the world’s most precious treasure and breathed deep of its delicious scent. Replacing the lid, he studied her and blushed. 

Seeing this, Lily turned red herself – she bit her lip and looked away. He’s really in love with me, she thought. How gullible did you have to be to fall prey to an enchantment like that? Oh Shirou, you big, handsome dummy.

“W-would you like to share it?” he asked at last. 

Lily’s heart almost exploded. “Of course I would!” Unable to stop herself, she threw herself at him, wrapped her arms around him, and buried her face in his chest.

He held her tight and stroked her hair with affection.

***

Homurahara Academy Class 2-C chatted among themselves as they shuffled into the classroom, talking about today’s lessons, tomorrow’s test, who was dating who now, and what they were going to do on the weekend…

Hidden among them, Shirou fought the crowd to reach his seat, looking back only to check Lily was still following. She hurried after him like an eager puppy, unable to resist squealing when she realized he was watching. “Shirou, stoooop! You’re embarrassing meeeee!”

They reached their desks, and she slipped into the empty one next to his own, pushing it closer till they were almost touching. Shirou blushed – her neediness would be almost annoying, if not for the fact he loved her so much. 

The first thing on today’s schedule was a test. As Miss Tanaka handed out the sheets, Shirou reached into his pink-black bag and pulled out his deep purple pencil case. Seizing the zipper, he yanked it open and, rummaging inside, pulled out his pencil. Its tip gleamed in the sunlight, sharp as a sword.

Predictably, when he went to write his name, it snapped. “Tch.” Grabbing his dark red sharpener, he forced the pencil deep into its open hole, seizing them both firmly, and turned. A thin sheet of shavings flowed from the sharpener’s teeth. Blowing them away, he pulled the pencil out and inspected its tip. There – nice and sharp again. 

It snapped again the instant it reached the paper. With a sigh, he grabbed the sharpener once more.

Afterward, they had a long, boring lesson on dramatic irony. Shirou and Lily spent the whole thing writing each other notes: Shirou spent almost ten minutes scribbling a poem in his brand new notebook, chewing his lip, ripping the pages out, and rewriting it all over again, before he was finally satisfied enough to hand it to Lily, who melted instantly – as she would have even if he’d scrawled a crummy sketch of them making out.

Finally, the bell rang for lunch, and the two of them ended up on a bench in the schoolyard, swinging their legs as they talked about the future.

“Look, Shirou,” said Lily, producing a familiar blue box, “I made you another bento!” 

“O-oh! Thank you, Lily!” He normally preferred to prepare his own meals, but for some reason, the smell of Lily’s bentos always got his stomach growling. “I-I made you one too!” 

As they ate, she took his hand and squeezed, and he squeezed back.

And for a second or two – Grail War or not – all was right with the world.