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The clap of Weiss Schnee’s footsteps echoed down the hallway.

“It’s despicable!” she said, practically driving her heels through the carpet with each furious step. “I mean, the cheek of it! T-to think they’d ever do something so obscene – I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. If we were back in Atlas, we would have set the hounds on him. It’s appalling! Unforgivable! And another thing: not only was his tie tacky, but– Blake, are you even listening?” 

Blake looked up from her book. “Are you still talking?”

“Of course I’m still talking!” 

“Then no.” 

They reached their dorm. With a snort of derision, Weiss reached for the door handle. But the instant before she touched it–

From the other side of the door came an orgasmic moan. 

Weiss and Blake froze, and a soft flush, like mild sunburn, crept onto their faces. “We didn’t actually hear that, did we?” said Blake. 

“Of course not,” said Weiss. “It must have come from JNPR’s room. You know what Nora and Ren are like. Animals.” 

Another moan sounded from their dorm room. From their dorm room.

Blake chewed her lip. “Which one do you think it is?” 

“What?” 

Blake rolled her eyes. “Which one do you think brought a guy back?” 

Weiss’s blush grew a little deeper. “W-well, it would have to be Yang of course. She’s the one with a proclivity for visiting nightclubs – I imagine she’s brought quite a lot of men back in her time.” 

“Sh-she has not!” said Blake. “I-if Yang had brought that many men back, I would have noticed!” 

“Well, it can’t be Ruby – she doesn’t even know what sex is! The only reason she’d bring a guy back is to show him the cool stick she found.” 

“What if there isn’t a guy?” 

“Are you suggesting one of them brought back a girl?” 

“Wh-what’s the matter with that?” said Blake, redder than ever. “But I was talking about them… you know… on their own.” 

Weiss’s eyes widened. “O-oh. I see. Well, in that case… I still think it’s more likely to be Yang. Then again… Ruby does have an odd fascination with that scythe of hers.” 

“You think she uses the handle?” 

“N-no I do not think she uses the handle! Don’t put words into my mouth, you p-perverted little pussycat!” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, this is getting us nowhere. Why don’t we just knock on the door and give them some time to…?” 

“Wipe Crescent Rose off?” 

“I’m not talking to you anymore.” With a sigh, Weiss knocked on the door. “Hello…! It’s us, Weiss and Blake, back from our extra-curriculars! We’re coming in in a few seconds, so if there’s someone in there with you, kindly tell him to jump out of the window!” 

“Hey guys!” Yang’s response was quick and unashamed. “Come on in!” 

Weiss and Blake exchanged a glance. “I told you,” said Weiss, opening the door. 

Inside, their room looked much the same as it always had, though there was a distinct musk to the air that wrinkled their noses and raised their eyebrows.

But for all that things were the same, one thing in particular stood out as out of order: Yang Xiao Long lying naked on her bed…

Actually, that was pretty par for the course. What was unusual was the giant cock standing erect between her legs. 

Weiss and Blake froze, bodies as rigid as– Well. 

“Hey, guys,” said Yang, giving her shaft another vigorous pumping. “What’s wrong? Why are you standing around like that?” 

A squeal like a punctured tire left Weiss’s lips. Whirling away, she buried her face in her hands. 

Blake, meanwhile, had turned as red as Ruby’s namesake. “Yang! What the fuck?!” 

Yang stopped pumping to stare at her. “What? I’m just doing a little sisterly bonding.” 

It took a second for these last two words to work their way through Blake’s brain, and even then, she didn’t understand them. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Y’know, sisterly bonding,” said Yang, as if she were braiding her sister’s hair. “Me and Ruby have been doing this forever.” 

Even Blake was having a hard time now – a part of her wanted to copy Weiss and bury her face in her hands. “R-Ruby has one of those too?!” 

“Huh? Ooooh! Oh no no no, no it’s not what you think.” 

“It’s not?” 

“No, of course not. Ruby doesn’t have a penis.” 

“Of course not,” said Blake, a terrified giggle creeping up her throat. “Of course she doesn’t.” 

“She’s my cock.” 

The only thing tenser than the silence that followed this statement was Ruby, and only because Yang was still stroking her.

“Let me get this straight,” said Blake, whose embarrassment had become so strong it had flipped all the way to the other end of the spectrum. “You’re saying Ruby regularly turns into your penis… And you consider this ‘sisterly bonding’?” 

“Oh, no, no,” said Yang. 

“Thank Dust.” 

“Sometimes I turn into her cock.” 

Weiss made a little muffled moaning sound.

“Yang, what the fuck?!” cried Blake. 

“Whaaaat?” Yang sounded genuinely annoyed with her. “Oh, come on, it’s not like you two don’t have weird things going on with your families.” 

“What the fuck does that mean?! What the fuck does that mean?!”

“Besides,” Yang continued, unfazed. “It’s not like it’s gonna hurt her or anything. It’ll all wear off in another half an hour, and then she’ll be back to her usual cheery self.” 

Ruby throbbed, as if to agree with her.

“In the meantime…” Yang licked her lips. “Why don’t the four of us do a little ‘team bonding’?”