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CRAPPENS SUPERFIGHT: LeeAnne Locken vs. Kathryn Dennis (Patreon)

Published:
2016-10-19 20:00:10
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Who wins?  A giant, 50-foot Kathryn Dennis throwing bears?  Or LeeAnne Locken, who USED to be a bear but now has the ability to spray neurotoxins and shoot webs?

Photo assistance from Candyce Ann Staymer

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Comments

Benjamin Cohen

I know the guys picked LeeAnne but I think Kathryn takes this. LeAnne is not Spiderwoman. She will be stuck jawjacking at a 50 foot tall woman. Kathryn's size means that she has two things going for her. They are an arm swipe and a stomp. LeeAnne won't be able to generate enough neuro toxin or webs to ensnare Kathryn while dodging bears, swipes, stomps, and smashes. LeeAnne won't be able to get inside Kathryn's ear to poison her brain either, or reach her eyes.

Michael Horn

LeeAnne wins for sure. As soon as Kathryn starts throwing bears at her, LeeAnne will will continually scream, "BOW AT ME, KATHRYN, BOW AT ME YOU LITTLE BEAR MIMICKER. I WAS A CARNIE BEAR!" Kathryn will get confused and be like, "erm, Thomas, I don't have a bow. Can you order me a bow on Amazon Prime? Wait, no, Thomas don't go! Come back, Thomaaasss!!!!!" And she'll run away chasing him. To catch up with him, she will get in a giant trolly. LeeAnne sees the trolly, and catches it with her web. She brings it toward her and slaps it repeatedly. And that was the end of Kathryn Dennis. Erm.

Catherine

LeeAnn wins because Kathryn skinned all her bear weapons to make a new old lady fur coat.

Mike Bowman

First of all, can Landon die in the crossfire? She can finally have a posthumous post about her adventures in her paper blog getting mauled by bears. Kathryn can forego the bears and just smash Leanne with her giant statement necklace she made.

DelizaD

Katherine totally wins; it's not a fair fight because we've seen a) Katherine ain't afraid to fight and or getting up in people's faces (while wagging her finger) and b) using her body block people (from leaving a room and force them out the window). Add to that she's now 3 stories high, so her confrontational tendencies are "heightened"- with bears, in hand, to whip at the tiny little Leeann spider. But Leeann is scrappy and if she were to survive and get in a few jabs, i.e. sprays of neurotoxins, it would likely be the type used in Botox. (She is a housewife!) Katherine could move so that the spray hits her right in the forehead (between the brows). So, if Katherine doesn't beat Leeann with her size, bears, and aggressive behavior, she still wins by keeping Leeann around to provide regular cosmetic treatments.

Betsy MD

This is a lose-lose situation, but I do hope for the love of all things good and holy, as a gynecologist, that the neurotoxins that Leenn sprays have a healthy dose of birth control in them. Katherine needs to take a reproductive timeout.