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CRAPPENS SUPERFIGHT: Kristen vs. Kathryn (Patreon)

Published:
2016-10-26 23:55:33
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Put on your HAZMAT suit: we have another superfight!  Who wins?  A radioactive Kristen Doute armed with a puppy musket?  Or a 3 story tall Kathryn Dennis hurling bears.

Height vs. radioactivity!

Bears vs. puppies!

Amazon Prime vs. Sketch Comedy!


Please offer up your theories in the comments below!

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Comments

Benjamin Cohen

I think Kristen wins because this fight will not get physical. It will be a battle of wills. Kristen will fuck, not sleep with, fuck Thomas. Kathryn will find out before the fight via gossip. I'd like to think she would find out from Whitney during an unrelated fight. Thomas will be rendered sterile from Kristen's radioactive coochie popper (Ha, I got you to say coochie popper 😜) Since Kathryn is sober, Kristen will press her advantage of being a drunk mess and make Kathryn storm off in a huff to Shep's bar, the one that didn't burn down.

Mike Bowman

First of all, can Landon manage to somehow survive the last superfight crossfire but, then get mauled by puppies? Anyway. Kristen wins. Kristen will use her masterful improv skills, tell Kathryn to suck a dick and Kathryn will run down a pier, break it under her massive size and be weighed down by her giant statement necklace. The now radioactive bears eat the rest of the Southern Charm cast.

Michael Horn

I think Kristen would win. While Kathryn is walking toward Kristen throwing bears, Kristen is all like, "Ugh, Seriously? Who DOES that??" Kristen would then try throwing puppies at Kathryn but accidentally hits Tom Sandoval instead. Tom then yells at Kristen, "KRISTEENNNN. Why would you throw that puppy at me Kristeeennnn?!?" Kristen goes, "Oh, sorry Tom, I was just too busy focusing on KILLING THE GAME WITH MY NEW T-SHIRT LINE." Kathryn mishears Kristen and goes, "Thomaaaas? Where are you, Thomaaas? Ah don't seee youuuu." Kathryn forgets she was fighting Kristen and leaves to go try to find Thomas, who was never actually there in the first place. This has been Alexis Bellino reporting for Fox 5. Thank Jesus everyone is safe. I was offered this job before Gretchen.

DelizaD

So, of course, Kristin kicks things off by bellowing a super-charged radioactive "SERIOUSLY?" when she spots the three story high Katherine approaching in the distance. She rolls her eyes and starts shooting puppies at Katherine, while yelling "look at me I'm a catch". Katherine becomes confused as the radioactivity starts to penetrate the air and hears the word "catch" so she drops the bears and starts catching the puppies. The exposure eventually overcomes her and she falls to the ground whimpering "Thomas...come back". Kristin hears the name "Tom" and becomes distracted and starts looking around for Tom and Arianna but doesn't realize her voice has incited aggression in the bears and they find her and attack!