Apologies (Patreon)

My Dear Darlings,

Today I rose with fire in my chest, ready to pour every ounce of my soul into this week’s Pretty Officer x Drunk Salaryman update. The script was in its fifth draft, the iPad screen was polished. The coffee brewed. My carefully curated Spotify Yacht Rock Playlist, already at full blast (at a reasonable volume). My pen quivered with anticipation.

And then the wife peaked in and casually informed me: Brunch with Mr and Mrs X later today. An unexpected mid-week social obligation.

It was a trap. A couple other friends arrived. The trap turned out to be an ambush. It turned out to be a day-long ordeal as we changed venue and met with a couple more friends. A relentless parade of polite smiles and forced laughter. Conversations about current celebrity scandals, who in my friends’ circle is entangled in an affair, and who is still suffering an emotional crash out that far outlasts the relationship itself. Small talk and gossip so vicious it pierces the soul. I tried. Oh, how I tried. Yet society demanded my nods, my “mhms,” my feigned interest in a heated conversation about what brand of Tulle White paint is best. I silently wept for the hours I would never get back.

By mid-afternoon, I had surrendered. My creative spirit shackled. My iPad tablet, a distant memory. I accepted the cruel truth: There would be no drawing today. My wife cheers and pats herself on the back for the successful brunch. A job well done indeed. I lived through it. Barely.

But despair will not win. Tomorrow I shall return, fueled by righteous indignation, renewed passion, and the scars of social torture. The update will come, and it will carry with it the emotional weight of a man who survived a day of excruciating human interaction and longed only for the sweet embrace of Michael McDonald music infused creativity.

I beg your understanding, and your anticipation, and promise that tomorrow will be worth every agonizing second of this delay.

Smooth sails and endless soft synths,

Your perpetually caffeinated, socially-traumatized, pen-wielding mariner,

NICE