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Meat Golem (Patreon)

Published:
2024-12-13 14:59:24
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

This is one of those “feels like it should be illegal” things some wizards offer on the side.

(i’m thinking of making this a game mechanic)

Files

Comments

Bp

"people trust wizards who look like exhausted bags of liquid shit" very accurate

Senpapi

Yaaaay new characters always exciting

mayordomoGoliat

... I mean there are ladies who will want that body too, orcish or otherwise.

Matt Bixler! Hello!

I literally just thought of this when I found an old radio play called "The Haunted Corpse," and realized that's just a normal guy

Zeuvembie

Just needs to pay for a few optional extras.

Jaelyn Mcgee

I like the yellow-green eyes. I think it should be a possible trait for a meat golem to have. Any chance of making them a race?

Tinwhisker

A DnD podcast I listen to recently had a character that ended up being a ghost puppeting their own corpse. It seemed very interesting but i don't think they explored it well enough.

Bp

the yellow green eyes are just temporary while they get used to the body, and im sure being a haunted meat golem would just be flavor/backstory cuz race wise youd just be a normal elf or human or etc

Carasibana

Always gonna love anything with a guy ending up as a sexy woman. gotta say with a name like 'Gutscrusher' feels like it needs a followup where she has her guts 'rearranged' in a fun new way ;P

Bruodis

"He" can now be a "headcrusher" with "his" boobs and ass so it's a win-win.

DarkHammer

Me "Where's the Meat Golem" Everyone else "Fucking idiot."

Stephen Wells

Sounds like our home game :) - my wife's Monk was killed by a wizard (Power Word Death) and possessed their own corpse to come back as a Revenant and throttle the wizard, they were very surprised.

Dlog

So are these bodies made or harvested? Is the wizard frankenstining it or conjuring them?

Vice & Violence

Well you can turn into a ghost if you die already, I’m thinking if your party can get you to a wizard you can inhabit a clone with new stats but keep all your knowledge/skills/spells. A challenge if you’re a fighter that’s inhabiting a weakling, for example.

Vice & Violence

Conjuring them, it’s a pretty useful spell but it’s exhausting to pull off. The weird old sorceress in the Christmas special did something similar, but turned herself into an old fella to have a beard for pondering.

Necronner

Could be a way to have a character come back from an unexpected bad die roll that leads to death. Makes it so it isn't "random guy joins up because..."

Julian Fratzscher

Well, time for a little rebranding on Gazrins part. Or to find a wizard who can do a lil adjustments on the body.

MythicalThings

I for one wanna fuck the shit outta that wizard, not the golem, the wizard

Malik3596

I'd say just make the meat golem a futa and there you go.

Martin Teply

You need to add this to the Rules - I am digging the idea of Random Clone/Meat Golem generator.

EmeraldEngineer

honestly a good way to get around character death

Cadfael

Makes a fellow wonder what Pasing extra to have her "bimbo up the Golem A LOT" would lead to ...

Moon

lowkey i do wanna look like that wizard

Nedzilla

Background. 100 percent viable

MG

Hell yeah, multiple avenues of reviving dead characters will be lit.

Nedzilla

Race swap with your skills in tact. Interesting.

DarkHammer

Aren't they basically usable homunculi?

Dlog

In a mechanic sense, i guess this would apply if you get straight to death no loss of consciousness. And in this particular golem former orc's case, the character rollup is random if you choose to keep the stats.

Sleep

So mechanically, you want to get your fallen comrade's spectral presence to a wizard who does this, but you can only get a body the wizard knows how to summon? That kinda implies that there's a local population of Body #3 and people think you're a weirdo for going with Body #11. (It also implies that a really established wizard might have their tower surrounded by a very samey village.) Just how custom can the wizard make the meat golem?

Héctor Camargo Salcedo

Being zombification the only way to return due the lack of resurrect magic, this could be an elegant way to tackle on the issue.

Commissar Doggo

I hope "he" keeps his old voice. Also, "I wanna get my dick back" is as good a motivation for adventuring as any.

Nedzilla

If the wizard can cast clone AND body modify, the sky is the limit.

Aidan Mills

Folks are talking about revive methods, but I just thought of another thing that could be done with this: Re-specing.

Frank M

I mean I don't really see why it shouldn't be. As long as it's moderately challenging to do (and probably requires some forethought or luck) I don't see why it would be a problem. It doesn't really feel out of character for the setting.

Carbon Green

A fun story beat tool! I could imagine a scenario where two parties all get put into identical bodies and now it's a game of who's who!

CozyKuroKuma

I think a fun way to make this work with revival could be someone has to use blood magic to make a soul crystal if you decide you want your character not to be a zombie. Or go to your local vampire to pull the soul from their blood to put into a core that the wizard can use to create the meat golem. Then Madoka Magika rules- if your core is more than FAR distance from you, then you have 2 turns to get back in range before you deanimate.

Michael Brewer

I guess my question is...why do people trust wizards that look like that?

Windrider23

Given how fast word travels in this setting. A lot of people wouldn't be put off by what they see. So a wizard that looks rather harmless would get more consumers than one that looks like they would fall asleep midsentence.

Twelveseal

I approve of this as a game mechanic. Works great for characters where the body's just absolutely mulched. It's also a great, multi-layered plot hook, since not only do you have to catch the ghost somehow and provide pay to the Wizard, you also may end up in a situation where someone OTHER than the Wizard was the donor for the clone and now you look like a Person of Interest... in ways other than how THAT person happens to look interesting~