Comic #60: Breath (Patreon)

Originally published:  Sep 21, 2006.

My initial opinion re-reading this one after 13 years... This one is kind of a stretch. I love the setup, it really piques your curiosity, but the punchline is a little bland to me. I can see a lot of alternatives, I'm not sure they would be any good.

I had a lot of these types of comics early on. A character is doing something strange, and the final panel is two of his friends. One asks where the character is, the other uses a lot of exposition to explain the joke to you. Sometimes it can really work out, but it does often feel a little forced.

Sometimes when I find myself in the situation where the setup is good but the punchline stinks, I try to flip it and see if I can make the setup the punchline, and see if it improves.

For example in this one, what if it starts off with Keydar writing in some notebook:

Attempt 47: I have failed yet again.

I have been at it for days, yet this secret crafted item eludes me.

Try as I might, each time I attempt to craft the item I find myself dead and at the graveyard.

No matter. I am determined. I shall be the first to create whatever this is, consequences be damned.

And then the final panel would be some variation of one of the panels with him under water.

I'm not sure that version works any better, but I use that technique a lot when I'm having a writer's block. It was hard for me to do at first, especially in instances like these where you are really attached to a setup.