My first rejection (Patreon)

Thought you guys might enjoy this .. 

So this morning, I was on my way to a well-planned shoot in the Malibu Hills with a production crew to meet with three holistic wellness influencers who popularized the practice ‘perineum sunning,’ a.k.a butt hole sunning. Each morning, they wake up at the crack of dawn and face their open anus toward the sun to absorb solar energy into their intestinal tract, which I’m assuming, is a window to the soul. This morning, I was supposed to receive a demonstration and sit-down interview …..

But around 45 minutes before our shoot was supposed to begin, the main butt hole sunner guy sent me this text message, which I can confidently say is the douchiest, perhaps most pompous text I’ve ever gotten in my entire life … though I’ve redacted his info in the interest of privacy. 

In my AMA’s, a lot of people ask me questions like, ‘do people ever not want to talk to you because of your work on All Gas No Brakes?’ .. or ‘do you think you’ll ever get too big to be incognito?’ ….

Until now, the answer to this question is typically no. In the field, I identify myself as a comedic journalist, get release forms signed and let people be express themselves on camera without interruption. The zooms and occasional music that come in post production only serve to accentuate what interviewees are actually saying.

But anyways, hope you guys get a low vibration laugh from this one

-Andrew