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Hey all,

Been awhile and I wanted to check in while a folder worth of renders purrs quietly in the background. Things are a little more under control so I feel a tad more confident at giving people a more accurate idea of where things are right now so here we go.

Why Have I been Quiet?

First off, I always like being transparent so let's get the messy stuff out of the way first so we can move onto what's done. 

So, as I've stated before, v0.21 is pretty ambitious in scope and was planned to be one --if not the biggest-- update we've had yet. This is also my dress rehearsal for the remake (generically dubbed v2 for right now because I don't' know how to name versions properly).  With 10 major scenes planned, and a 12 page outline, it would be the largest update in the game we've seen.

I shared a previous post showing some of the issues that I had with Depth of Field (DOF) while trying to reuse old shots while incorporating new shots. This continues to be a problem and to be honest, it's driving me crazy. I've ironed out most of the problems with it but I'm not going to know how distracting it is until I actually get all the images coded into game and it boots so I can actually see it in real time. So there's been a lot of fixing old things and just trying to smooth the last update into this time. It's entirely possible that we could have some focusing issues in one scene in v0.21 that we may all have to live with until v2. It's also entirely possible some of you won't even notice the problem or understand what I'm talking about.

Problem number two was the writing. It's not unusual for me to write scenes out of order but there was one scene in this next update that I have struggled with for a few months now. I'm pleased to say that it is finished and it was sent over to Blayke for a second opinion and I was honestly surprised he liked it--which normally means it's fine and I'm trippin' over nothing. So in contrast to where I was last month, I am now able to write linearly again and there are no skipped scenes left as unfinished business nagging at me while I try to focus my emotions on the last few scenes in the game.

Writing

As you can imagine, this update is planned to be pretty emotional. The plan is to have a few more rollercoasters left in this ride that take us right up to the very end. It's really important to me that I finish out strong with this. With 10 scenes planned, I have about 7 fully written. There are two scenes planned that I may end up shifting into one scene though so that number may be a bit misleading but hopefully it's enough to at least give you an idea where things are. The final scene isn't written. I'm not writing the end until the end. It's very important to me that the last thing i type be the end. I want closure the same as yall get. So right now I have scenes 7,8, and 10 to go (but 7 and 8 may be combined). I'll also note that scene 9 needs some potential revisions but I have a very rough draft of it finished.

The good news is that some of the more emotional scenes that are written have made me smile after rereading them-- and there's the typical goofy stuff in there, too. I'm also taking some risks at the end here and will be tackling some pretty heavy issues like I had planned to do in the beginning of this game. It was important to me personally to include these issues in the story because they were obstacles to me so I wanted to confront them in fiction as I have in reality. 

Right now, my completed writing is around 2,500 lines of code which has been the average full update size for updates like 18 and 19 and we still have 2-3 scenes left. I'm also planning to do a full playthrough of the game before I release to check for continuity so that may take a little time, too. I just wanna feel confident about this before I drop it for the world to see. I'll never be able to adequately describe how scary it is to release this to the world.

CGs

CGs are looking good so far minus the DOF issue that I already complained about. I have around 466 done right now including the ones in the render folder that I'm rendering as I type this. A lot of more expressive scenes in this update including some more facial expressions that I really want to highlight with Braden's character. I stated before that I want him to be very outwardly expressive and up until the last 2 updates,  I just didn't have the skills to really do that so we'll be seeing more of that in this update. I think it's safe to assume that you can expect the same quality that we saw in the bar scenes from v.20. There's also some really nice park shots on the walk back that I've teased in previous posts so go check that out if you haven't seen it. The park at night looks really good imo. I feel like I could write an entire game that takes place there because it's just a beautiful set.

I'm also working on a new environment for the update which includes new lighting and more background population. The previous teaser image that I released showed a crowded classroom so we're going to see more of this in v021 as well. The new computer can handle more characters but positioning, clothing, and placing, background characters is pretty time consuming but it does add immersion and realism to the environments. We'll also be seeing more of that in v2 'cause there's more than like 8 people at this university.

Personal Update

A lot of you over the years have asked questions to quench curiosity about the characters, how much of the story or characters are real, or even details about me. I've written about some of these in detail in the Behind the Scenes posts on the site. While the story is fictional, Zack's journey has been a very real thing for me. Many of his obstacles have been my own and I've tried to capture my own journey in real time as I've confronted these-- and thus we watch Zack's perspective change over the course of the story.

While Zack's and my own journey are far from over, something happened recently that I attribute to this fictional journal that I think is worth sharing. While my closer friends know about my sexuality, I've never been out to my family. This week, for the first time, a family member asked me about my sexuality and I confirmed it. I didn't hesitate and I have no regrets. It was finally normal to me to say it after writing about it for so long and I'm immensely thankful for that. I know that isn't feasible financially, culturally, legally, or even safe for all of you to be open about who you are--my own situation has it's own complications. Regardless of your situation, no one can stop you from accepting who you are on the inside and I think that's important. It just felt good to say it out loud one time and have no regrets all because of a fictional story that I've poured my heart into since 2017.

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it, this story matters to me and I want to do it justice. 

Thank you for your support and your patience. 

Thank you for walking with me,

-Aaryn

Comments

MommieDammit

Thank the Gods, you're still alive! I thought maybe the desk tipped over and you were trapped, or something! XD Seriously, though, I'm very thankful for the update. I'm still trying to make a doughnut that wouldn't put a bakery out of business, and can just imagine what you're dealing with! Writing is easy for me, but I tend to re-write and edit ad nauseum before I finally feel it's right. So you have my sympathies there - I can only imagine the struggle with continuity as you add in new scenes. Your storytelling has been brilliant thus far, and I've no doubt the new work will be too! Finally, congratulations - coming out to my family 40 years ago made me feel like I'd eaten broken glass and was trying to crap it out. Those were very different times, but still... I'm very proud of you Aaryn. And very relieved that I don't have to buy Blayke a ticket to come pull you out from under the desk! LOL -MD

Jeremiah Mack

my man your posts bring tears to my eyes as easily as your writing. Always good, happy tears for the most part. And I am so happy to hear that your personal life is growing along with your writing. They say that true validation is an inside job, but it absolutely never hurts to have someone else see you for who you are and who you choose to be. No matter their reaction, the act of having the confidence and courage to be true to yourself when interacting with others IS the only way we ever find self acceptance. The light that stays hidden under the bushel is of no use to anyone.

TrynnanAngreeWookie

Bro, first off: much love for your ability to stand in your conviction to those who asked about your orientation and your bravery in confirming for them. You know you are always going to have my backing and my heart invested even when the game dev ends and this story's concluded. Secondly, well, I lost my train of thought... damn brain injury lol. And C, just love ya man.

Dave

Aaryn, this never ever fails to completely blow my mind. I ask myself over & over why does this affect me so much. It just a fictional story. As we have discussed in Discord DM, one that parallels my life with incredible accuracy, in its emotional content. But I have never really figured out the why, why it’s so deep, why it’s so emotional to me. But I think you just answered that question. While I will always reject the label I had lunch last week with one of my oldest friends in the world. I have never “ hidden “ my sexuality, I just don’t really talk about it. So it’s never been a question, I get asked. But because this story has had such a major impact upon me, I finally told my friend.. unsolicited. I cannot really accurately describe the feeling of “ just saying it out loud “ but it was quite odd, to just do…. And now I read this!…. THIS is what I have been waiting to read. THIS is the connection, THIS is the WHY! THIS is the Story….. My lil brother, We are traveling the same road, in different realities…. I literally had to stop along side the road to read this…. I spent the rest of the trip, thinking about this & you. I am sooo happy for you, my heart is ready to explode!…. I know now. While a fictional story, we are living non fictional journeys. Mine has been & passed, yours is still evolving. Aaryn, kindred spirits. We have discussed what I call “ The Magic “ and I think I just figured it out… Your Honesty, Your Clear Integrity is laid out in this incredible story. It is as clear as the summer sky. This is my connection. And I will treasure it FOREVER! I think sometimes, that others cannot truly get this story. What’s between the lines, As often they are viewing it through the lenses of already being “ out “…..and that cool too…. But I think I understand better now, who you are… And why I feel this intense connection to this story & you. Lil Brother I truly love you, and what you have done for me & all who are where we are. I have said it before & I will say it a million times more…. EVERY Human being need to read this story….. THE WORLD would be a better place, if they did….. Looking forward to More of THIS. You have my Love, My Respect & My Eternal Admiration…. Love Always Dayve.

rob matthews

Thank you for the great update. I await the release tentatively. Happy to see your progress in life as well as the project, Sad to see something so well done and passionately created come to an end. I am sure you will create more amazing and deeply absorbed by your "fans" work for many years. Thank you for your dedication to us and the project!

Apollo Studios

I’ll always love and support you, and I’m super proud of everything you’ve achieved. Your journey is far from over, and I hope I can be by your side for a long time to come 🥰

Douw Steyn

Wow! Your dedication is so admirable. I know this is in part to help you self develop. I want to thank you for sharing this with us. I know it takes a lot of courage to share the story. More power to you! Can't wait to read/play more!

Bubino

Thanks fot the news! I think that all things need the right time, so take your time without pressure. I like very much your work and the attention you put in it. I'm "playing" some another visual novel, but yours is the best for now. And I want it to be. So i'll be waiting patiently the release, sure you will give us a good job :)

Afees700

Aaryn, wow! I wish I was as brave as you. I have yet to come out to the people I consider my family(I love them but still...)but your journey helps to bolster me. I hope to complete my journey soon. Thank you for your honesty. I have followed this story of discovery and reveled in your excellent writing. I look forward to the update and will continue to follow and support you in any way I can. Thanks for helping this old man remember that better times are always ahead.

joao

Thanks for everything!!

Lucas J-Z

I would just like to say thank you for this visual novel. I have never gotten so attached to characters before. It made me wish that they were real so that I could be friends with them. I don't think there's a single thing about this visual novel that I didn't like and I absolutely adored all of the characters that we got to know. I hope that you continue to have the passion to make this. Take care.