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This week for community questions on the podcast, we'll have Ben Hanson, Leo Vader, Jacob Geller, Janet Garcia, and special guest Erik Wolpaw - writer of Portal, Portal 2, Half-Life: Alyx, Psychonauts, and more! It's your turn to make the show better by leaving a question, news story, BetterQuest goal, or anything else for us to read on the show as a comment below! We’ll choose our favorite and iam8bit will ship out the great prize below for the winner! We'll stop pulling questions around 8am Central on Wednesday.

On this week’s episode we’ll be talking about...

Slay the Spire 2

GDC Highlights

Perfect Tides: Station to Station

Mewgenics

The Division 2 Anniversary Event

Resident Evil Requiem Final Thoughts

Our guest has requested some Minnesota-centric questions, so now's your chance to dive into our namesake!

Everybody at the Backstage Pass tier can watch us record the show live on Wednesday at 1pm Central, with an exclusive pre and post show. The unedited archive will be available to view after the fact. You could do us a favor by subscribing to the audio version of the podcast on iTunes or your favorite podcast app, telling a friend, leaving a review, and subscribing to our YouTube channel!

https://apple.co/3lRbzbE

https://www.youtube.com/minnmax

You can also find the League of Legends vinyl for sale in iam8bit’s online store, and you can use the promo code GREENGREENS for 10% off everything under $100. Psst… please don’t post that promo code anywhere else on the internet. It’s a MinnMax-exclusive thing. https://www.iam8bit.com/collections/all

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Comments

J.Vaso

How many bespoke times did Jeffm use the word bespoke last week?

Travis in Fargo

How much more or less likely are you to watch a movie if it wins an Oscar?

Neal McMahon

Isn’t it crazy to think that the term “Soulslike” is only a little over 15 years old? That might sound like a long time, but it feels like it’s been around much longer. Do you think it’s reached the same level of recognition as “Roguelike,” where the genre name feels almost timeless—even though it really traces back to 2009 when Demon’s Souls first released?

Mike R.

What is each crew members favorite Pokemon of all time. And which Pokemon would best represent you most?

Aging_Poorly

Question for Erik (and everyone, but mostly Erik), which game do you think has sneaky good writing? I’m talking slightly deeper cuts here, we all know Disco Elysium has good writing. What’s one that surprised you in a good way?

Neal McMahon

There’s a theory floating around about the Oscars suggesting it might actually benefit Sinners in the long run that it lost Best Picture to One Battle After Another. The idea is that its legacy could end up being even stronger because of it. Some people are comparing this to the 1994 Academy Awards, when Pulp Fiction famously lost to Forrest Gump. At the time, that outcome felt justified to many—but 30 years later, a lot of people now view Pulp Fiction as the more influential and culturally important film. Do you think Sinners could follow a similar path?

Thom Blackburn

This question is for Eric. Which is more likely, Portal 3 Psychonauts 3, or Half-Life 3? Thanks! Thom

Jacob Mazanowski

GDC just happened and seemed awesome! If you made a MinnMax Games Conference, what would that look like? What would its vibe be? Would it focus more on the dev and backend side of games, or the consumer side?

Katatat

Hi MinnMax! Inspired by the ridiculous DLSS 5 announcement (death to all AI pls), in your opinion which game/game artstyle would benefit most from being yassified?

John Scovic

What is something that should be stressful, but you find meditative and relaxing? For me it's very difficult fighting game combo trials. I love just zoning out and attempting the same thing over and over, slowly getting better at them over time.

Travis in Fargo

The Digital Witch flies in through your window, and, while still alight on her ever-shifting, pixelated broom, she offers a hex: choose one video game to delete forever, including from everyone’s consciousness except yours, AND choose one unreleased or cancelled video game, and it will come out in a complete, finished state. What do you choose?

Catpurrnicus

This past weekend we got a good amount of snow. How do you handle this? Do you prep before hand and hunker down like a responsible adult or throw caution to the wind like a complete daredevil? Also, its supposed to be 60 on Friday, this State is stupid.

L Stockler

Minnesota Star Tribune published an article (and Jacob shared it) about a Minneapolis Man and friends who led an amazing charity stream while playing an obscure video-game. It got me thinking. How does the Minnesota Man fare, newswise, against the famous Florida Man?

Zach Bugge

If anyone is interested in the coders perspective on AI from last weeks discussion I'm a software engineer with about a decade of professional experience in the non-games world. I don't work on cutting edge tech products but I honestly find the capabilities of current AI models incredible. I assume this is the kind of productivity leap people experienced with the creation of spreadsheet software like Excel. At current capabilities it really can allow capable senior engineers to replace the output of junior engineers. Which has the obvious follow-up question of "how do we get future senior engineers if we replace all the juniors" I also think that you really need some experience "building things from scratch" without AI to be able to harness/direct the coding models effectively. Just my 2 cents but these are powerful and incredible tools that can easily be abused by corporations who don't have the patience to think long term with their implications

AnAttackCorgi

Hello MinnMaxers! Which Valve game character should be squelched into DLSS 5 slop, what would the end result be, and why is the end result of this discussion gonna be Glados with lipstick? PS: Is it just me or does anyone watch the Oscar’s anymore? Do you think The Game Awards are close to reaching “By, and For, Industry Insiders Only” status?

Jason Wojnar

Me and my brother, former GI intern and current Newsweek contributor Zak Wojnar, have spent years recommending the movie Billy Jack to Isla Hink and Michael Huber of Easy Allies. They finally watched it, loved it, and recorded an episode of their Reaction Shots film podcast with Zak as a guest. So my question is, what’s the longest you’ve spent hounding someone to try out a movie, show, game, band, book, etc. did they end up liking it?

Tyler Sticka

Greetings from Oregon! I've never been to Minnesota. What's one thing you wish everyone knew or understood about the Land of 10,000 Lakes?

JG

Hey CLCs, question for Jacob: I remember on an old Party Chat you were asked if you wanted to go to trade shows and said no because you felt like you didn’t know anybody beyond a select few. What changed that you now feel comfortable going to SGF and now GDC? Can’t wait to see the travelogue! - JG from Scotland

Nathan Ryer

Hey MinnMax! If you had a Portal Gun, how long would you use for good before using it for laziness and eventual crime? What’s the TTC? (Time till corruption)

Palo

Hey all, I saw some comparisons being made online between the on the fly improvisation that Marathon calls for and the Hitman games. Which made me wonder what y'all would want out of a Hitman pvp extraction game? Seems like too good of an idea to not happen eventually.

Michael Berry

I have a question for Eric. Do you think any of the early concepts for Portal 2, the F-Stop mechanics , will ever be utilized in any game from Valve?

Jacob B

Hey y'all! I was listening to the metroidvania episode of the always incredible Pew Pew Bang and the part where they listed why they dislike the genre got me thinking, is there a game mechanic or design choice you loathe from a genre that you LOVE? example: I love a base building survival game, but HATE hunger mechanics. Ya, sure, let me just stop building this sweet fortress every 10 minutes so I can track down a berry bush across the map...

HaulingGas

Hey Minnmax and legendary game writer Erik, Do you have a favorite "side quest" in a movie or book? (A substory that doesn't progress the main storyline in anyway) A recent favorite of mine is "Holocaust honey" from Marty Supreme.

Hemizan

Juicy Lucy - overrated or underrated? What would you propose as an alternate MN state food?

Hemizan

What’s the best lake in Minnesota?

Alpaca chino

Hey Minn Maxers and Eric! Maps feels like an unsung part of games! Which map is your favourite, and why? Much love ❤️

SlyCut

Hello all, Please rank the following: Doritos Goldfish Potato Chips Pretzels Cheetos Any version/flavor of all of the above is acceptable. Dips and the like being added is not acceptable.

pork bun powered

Hi MinnMax and Erik (big big fan!), Having just finished listening to the Resident Evil: Re9uiem Deep Dive (great discussion btw), it made me think a lot about the relationship between franchises and storytelling. My question for Erik (but I'd love to hear everyone's opinion) is, when writing a story for a long-running franchise, how much do you consider the fans or the "canon"? When you write something that you suspect is divisive, how do you balance your creative impulse with "business needs"? Thanks so much!

Yo Adriaaan

During an annual ice fishing friends trip up to Lake of The Woods, I got a reality check for trying to bring a console up with us (to be fair I was trying to bring a full Rock Band setup). I'm the activity guy in the group who usually brings/comes up with the games to entertain the hypocritical (said with love) "camping is for camping, fishing is for fishing" folks who eventually go crazy with boredom. I know I'm not alone when I bring a book or a handheld to a more outdoorsy vacation but I also see the value in locking in and forcing yourself to engage with something we only get seasonally. When exploring the land of 10,000 lakes, how often do you try to separate from non-phone technology? What about analog activities (books, board games, etc.)?

azzymandus

I don’t own a record player yet, but I'm hoping to win this week's vinyl prize to finally motivate me to buy one. I have a history of doing this: I got the Avatar Blu-ray before my player, John Wick in 4K before my PS5, and Mario Kart World before my Switch 2. Has anyone else ever bought something way before acquiring the main item without which it cannot be used?

Seneca Kier

What’s your favorite culinary cultural touchpoint in MN?

Badmonsterman

Howdy howdy! For those that have been to GDC what has been the single best piece of advice that yall have heard?

Pelicanman

Inspired by Ben’s qualified, tepid playing of Devil’s advocate from last week, I have to ask: has the Xbox hate gone too far? Microsoft has done its very best to earn Xbox the derision it gets, but the well is so poisoned that people were roasting them for talking during GDC about the technologies Project Helix will have, in a presentation given to game developers.

Kyle Silva

Do you think you can recognize your favorite games just by going off of direct footage of the controller inputs? IE: Knowing someone is playing Mario World because at some point, they’ll have to use the cape feather, or how unique the controls of Smash Bros. is to other fighting games.

Swansonge

Hey cohorts, I have a game for you: can you try designing a Minnesota-themed Pokémon team?

Maks Wribeast

Hi Minnmax. So Meta is closing Horizon Worlds VR. Which sounded like their closest thing to Oasis from Ready player one (but still very far). Can we now say that Metaverse is dead? And now it's dead what can we say about it compare to all this AI-nonsense? Was it more interesting or at least less harmful for industry?

Kenjamin

Do any of y’all have creative projects, that for one reason or another, you just can’t bring yourselves to finish?

RynaGoGo

Howdy MinnMax! Howdy Erik! Minnesota has 11,842 lakes apparently. If you went to a different one every day it would take you over 32 years to see them all. Can I get a top 5 Minnesota LOTY list?

kajmo

Hey Minnmax crew, how does it feel to have all of your last names so entirely outclassed by your guest? (jk you're all great)

Deme mitiku

What advancement in gaming history do you think has been the most revolutionary? Rumble features? Digital libraries? Headsets? Honesty for me it's wireless controllers. I think we take for granted how convenient it is until you occasionally have to play with the charging cable!

Kenjamin

Hey Erik! Have you ever written something for a game that at first you thought was inconsequential, but ended up having surprising ramifications for gameplay, level design, mechanics etc?

Kenjamin

I don’t think any of us expected Mewgenics or Metroid Prime 4 to take so long. So my question is, what game revealed in the last year or so, is actually going to take another decade to be released?

Steven Toth

I was floored by last week’s Tangela discourse because I have been playing Pokemon games for decades and I have spent my entire life calling that Pokemon “TAN-GEL-AH” (rhymes with “Angela”). Upon reflection, it makes more sense to be called “TANGLE-AH”. Have you ever discovered you’ve been pronouncing a word or a name wrong for years because you’ve never heard it out loud?

Vin!!

Erik- what a crazy resume! Psychonauts is one of my favorite games of all time based on the humor and dialogue alone!! Bit of an industry question (so sorry if this isn’t allowed!)- but I’m a screenwriter in NY who has always had a dream of writing for games but having no idea where to start. What was your journey like and what advice would you have for people like me? And second q (because i’m selfish!)- if you could hop inside the brain of any video game character and make a level based on them, who would it be? MinnMax crew, I want your answers too!! Okay that’s all!! mwah! <3

Kenjamin

What specific things do you pack to make hotels/airbnbs etc. feel more like home? I have this dimmable led light I can no longer travel without

SenttheProphet

What type of game would you want to represent Minnesota? The Legend of California is coming out soon to tell the story of the state, GTA6 is coming out to tell the story of Florida - what kind of game for Minnesota?

Devin Atlee-Nutts

Howdy y’all, This might be a dumb question, but I haven’t really heard this come up yet: Now that the new XBOX is essentially a PC and allows other storefronts, how does XBOX make money? I thought most console profits come from taking a cut of game sales in their walled garden – where prices are generally higher than on PC – and subscriptions to online services. If the new XBOX allows cheaper purchases from Steam and the Epic Games Store, why would someone buy from the XBOX storefront? Now the only revenue is from the sale of hardware, which I thought was generally a loss leader for the console market. Am I missing something here? Are they hoping gamers will flock to recently inflated game pass subscriptions? Can they charge for XBOX Live if you only play Steam games?

Tortolia

I enjoyed last week's segment with Ben talking about the new Paranormasight game opening his eyes to visual novels, and it being thanks to Kelsey's recommendation. In that spirit, what game would you recommend to someone on this week's show that falls outside their normal genre playlist, and how would you sell them on giving it a try?

Lucas Mathew

Hello. Do you think the Oscars should adopt the style of TGAs and put world premier trailers in their broadcast to maintain viewership? They can't have Keighley or the Muppets, they belongs to our award show!

Nate Voris

What are some childhood places in Minnesota that you have fond memories of but are no longer there? Most of the places I enjoyed as a child are now closed down or have moved locations. On the flip side, are there any favorite places from your childhood that are exactly as you remember them?

Mahmoud Hakim

Hey MinnMax and Erik! With the upcoming Exit 8 movie, I have a question for you. Usually with video game adaptations, we see either a giant IP being adapted (Minecraft, Mario, etc.) or an already cinematic game (Last of us, God of War, Assassin's Creed, etc.). Exit 8 feels like an excellent change of pace. What are your best picks for an UNCONVENTIONAL video game adaptation (something that wouldn't work under normal circumstances)?

StarPhlox

Hi to Ben, Janet, Leo, Jacob and a big welcome to Erik! I've never even visited Minneapolis, but I am moving there this summer all the way from NYC. My question is if you were moving to Minneapolis how would you get to know the city and what steps would you take to find a community? Thanks :)

p9xm

Hey Minners and Maxers! Erik, I dub thee a Maxer. I grew up in the Twin Cities suburbs, and some of my fondest childhood memories were going into the cities with my family - whether it be to go to a Twins or Timberwolves game, go to the Mall of America (#CampSnoopy #NeverForget), climb around Edinburough Park in Edina, go to Valleyfair without getting kicked out, or some other activity... the list goes on! Y'all remember going (or do you take your kids to go) to any Twin Cities-area spots? Any fun stories or memories?

Geoff Enright

Hey Minnmax and the CLCs, If you had access to the portal gun specifically to use in the Mall of America and any surface works, what would you do? For Erik here, how does it feel to be responsible for some of the greatest video games ever made i.e. Portal and Portal 2? -Groffles

thejjuan1

Question for Janet. Why didn’t you go to Blessing’s volleyball game?

resnet

Hi MinnMax and Erik! If you could select one of your personal traits to be passed down to all of your descendants until the end of time without fail, what would it be? Feel free to imagine beyond the bounds of real-world biology here.

Jack Seage

Ahoy hoy, CLC's and Erik! Speaking of Apertures, what is the most iconic door in all of gaming? Is it a vault door? The thousand year-door? Whatever that big door in Kingdom hearts is called?? Don't be afraid to give a shout out to cool doors in other mediums (or even real life) if any come to mind. Inquiring minds want to know!

Vilis

Greetings to all (waves through a portal) Question for Erik: Ellen McLain brought such a personality to GLaDOS reading, I assume, your words. Were there any differences in GLaDOS writing you made between Portal 1 and 2 which you can recall being based on hearing Ellen's performance, or even a notable line she brought a nuance to you weren't anticipating? P.S. I met Ellen several times at MAGfest and she is entirely delightful along with her husband John Patrick Lowrie, known for his role as the Team Fortress 2 Sniper.

Shaun McAlpne

What is your favorite local gaming shop in Minnesota? I live up north in Forest Lake so I like Punch Out Gaming. I would like some more recommendations for the area.

Christian Jimenez

Hello, Why do you think there aren't more anime adaptation of games given how much better it would translate from video games than live action? New Sekiro trailer has me hyped. Thanks.

Duderado

As independent creators yourselves, do you have a personal budget for supporting other creators?

Hailey Smith

As we're less and less limited by hardware, games have been able to include things solely for realism and not necessarily just for the game loop (example: Sam pissing in death stranding or games with realistic gun reload... wow I can't believe it's not butter™ but why am I watching this happen?). What is a game aspect done in the name of realism that has you doing a Mike Wazowski? ("put that thing back where it came from or so help me") Also, it's my husband, Khalil's birthday on April 5 and it would be really cool if you could give him a shout out since he loves your show!

I_Am_Magnus

Hello Minnmax! Earlier this week, GameStop declared the PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii U as retro consoles. What do you see as the latest thing thats retro when it comes to games and their consoles?

Donny Norlander

Hello! One of my favorite gaming related phenomena is when a highly anticipated game releases, like Resident Evil Requiem or Hollow Knight Silksong, becomes the center of gaming discourse for a few beautiful weeks. Do y’all have a favorite “this is the game of the moment” moment, where it felt like we were all playing the same game and sharing water cooler moments with everyone?

Tom France

Hey Minnmax, I read that nostalgia spikes during periods of collective stress, basically your brain reaching back toward things that felt safe when the present feels unstable. It got to me pretty bad because I just bought an iPod Classic to mod and put my early 2000s nu metal. Curious if any of you are feeling that same pull toward older games, movies or older anything?

Fancygraham

Question for Erik, but others can weigh in too. Last summer I got a Portal tattoo. I had been thinking about getting it for over a decade and I’m happy with how it turned out. I know I’m not the only one out there. If you search up “Portal/Half Life/Psychonauts tattoo”, you’ll get a ton of results. What are your thoughts on gaming tattoos? Especially ones for games you have worked on?

Josh Lamm

What Disney character would you pull straight from the movies and put into a Pokémon game? I think the three gargoyles from The Hunchback of Notre Dame would make a good trio. For some reason there hasn't been a gargoyle Pokémon yet

Jason

Around the launch of Marathon, Bungie asked outlets to delay full reviews until the release of their planned endgame content. Do you think this is a fair request? Is it harmful to review outlets and/or customers?

Boondock-Bandit

Hi all, I need your help. I forgot to write this down for the deepest dive (even though I’m not playing) - is Gideon in RE: Requiem really in Casanova territory? Haley and Sarah practcially kiss the screen ever time he’s there. Am I missing some sex appeal thats obviously there? Does the mask stay on? I have so many questions.

Joe Dean

This is a question mostly for Jacob, but anyone with facial hair can answer. What is your beard maintenance routine? What razor do you use, guard length, beard oil, is it part of your waking up or going to bed process? Any recommendations or tips? Thanks.

Josh LaBaw

How's Minneapolis doing. I really like hearing it from the people who are there.

mantaguy

Hey MinnMaxers! I really enjoyed the discussion from two episodes ago about "publisher brain" and the tendency to conflate financial success with objective quality. I think it's a poisonous mindset to have that has made discourse around too many games insufferable, and generally means artificially limiting yourself to whatever art and experiences are the most popular. I came to love video games as a medium after getting into indie games and weird niche action games in my impressionable teenage years (Bastion and The Wonderful 101 come to mind), and I can thank those games for helping sterilize me against publisher brain for art that I'm otherwise interested in and enjoy. Since traveling back in time to introduce the future Highguard player count grifters to niche media will probably never be possible, what would you do personally to diminish publisher brain in video game discourse?

Chris Pelley

Vayageurs National Park, anyone have experience there? Did you see the northern lights? Is it fun if you don't do really go fishing... just there for the peace and vibes. Name something else only locals talk about that people should come out to see for themselves.

CrabPalace

We've all heard rumours/daydreamed about Gordon Freeman with the Portal gun. What video game weapon would you give to a character from a different video game? Come to think of it, Chell with the gravity gun would be pretty sick.

KayBree

What's the most overrated thing about the area you live (city or state, whichever you prefer). The more controversial the better.

Malcolm Holliday

What's a song you like that you think someone else on the panel hasn't heard that they would vibe with super hard?

Adam Castellanos

Hello y’all, just wanna let you know I stole this question from another podcast but I love the question and wanted to ask it. “When was a time you were upset about an outcome ,only to have contributed to it?”- Rocco from the No Buffs podcast. Thank yall.

Travis in Fargo

Who’s the weirdest teacher you ever had?

Travis in Fargo

Would you want to be a guest on your favorite podcast? Why or why not?

william hittle

If I were to visit Minnesota during a road trip, where should I stay, what should I eat, and what places should I visit? Are there specific stores or places you'd recommend that could use additional patronage?

Victor Hensley

Howdy MinnMax! The Oscars this past weekend had me thinking… You always hear about actors/directors who have long Oscar-less streaks. Think Leonardo DiCaprio’s old “Best Actor” drought (3 noms before 1st win) or Timothee Chalamet’s current skid for the same award (3 noms, 0 wins). Is there a studio or developer that fits this same bill in gaming? One that you’re surprised has had a lack of success at The Game Awards (or a similar award show) despite being nominated more than once?

Limp Bizquick

What’s the funniest/best glitch you’ve experienced in a game?

Michael Nickley

Hey folks! What’s your favorite ostensibly useless, “just for vibes” feature in a video game? Mine is roasting marshmallows in Outer Wilds. Cheers!

Felix davin

Bonjour ! Game titles containing a pun : do they elevate said title or hinder it ? Any favorite example? Merci !

MrBump

Hey im doing a crossword and one clue is 'Minnesotas state bird' could you help me out with that? Also if Jacob could shout out my brother Quinn that would be awesome. He loves Mr Gellers work so very much. K bye, MrBump. Noodling in New Zealand

Idris Daranijoh

I learned what ARG (Alternate Reality Game) stands for recently, due to Marathon and the puzzles all the players had to solve to be able to unlock the new map. I was listening to the deepest dive and the Resident Evil puzzle has a similar feel to figuring out the puzzle outside of the game itself. My question is have you participated in any ARGs and/or know of some that you enjoyed the story of how the solution came about? I remember 39 cules as a book series as an example that I remember as a kid.

Brian Lyness

Hey folks, When was the last time that you felt video game 'magic' (the sense of exploration, a really novel idea really well executed, a special world your inhabiting etc). The kind that awakens a somewhat dormat feeling of yesteryear that you don't feel too much in the modern day because of sequels or smaller evolutions on certain formulas/genres. Thanks!

McGreevy

Would you rather: GTA 6 is delayed a further 8 months, or GTA 6 comes out today but you personally can not consume it in any way until October?

Thorn23

Hey MinnMaxers all over N America, What QOL of life feature do you wish a favourite game had, but didn’t and perhaps u felt like it dampened ur love or overall time u spent with it, despite how much you would have wanted to spend with it but for an obstacle? Sorry if that sounds confusing, but for me I was all in on Hades 1 (no spoilers pls haven’t broached the sequel yet #patientgamer 😝) and had like 175 hours or so on it across PC & Switch (god bless cross-progression btw) but ultimately I hit my wall that I wish I could get over to see all story’s and character arcs to completion except I was lowkey burnout by the combat - so I wish there was an auto play feature or skip to watch just the story… Thanks!

McCracKenway

Hey MinnMaxers, it's a shame Janet is the only PPB cohort on this episode, because I wanted to address the shock over Amsterdam's sex museum they found during the PSP episode. I hope this comes off as gentle ribbing. I thought everyone knew the basic three things about Amsterdam (maybe stereotypes but still): canals, cannabis, and sex. I was taken to Amsterdam as a small child by my parents, and boy did they have a hard time "protecting" my tiny little brain. I remember being pulled away from the open door of a strip club and into a random souvenir store. I found these straws there that had some odd shape on the end. I asked my dad: "what's up with this straw?" He was clearly uncomfortable, and said "well, you know what it is, you've seen it," and I said no, I don't recognize it at all. He kept trying to get me to recognize it until, in barely a whisper, he said "it's a [male genitalia]." I was mortified. My point is, to the best of my knowledge, that stuff is just all over the place in Amsterdam. To turn this into a question, what knowledge about a place have you assumed was well known that you were shocked to find someone didn't know?

Clayton Dexter

What two games would be the most interesting if you swapped their protagonists? For example, if Mario and Link switch places those games would be very different but would they be as interesting

Eric Selvage

No question, just please no more terrible guests like Erik

DM Stearpyk

Hey everyone, sober 5 years here and though I know your advice for the listener that asked about dealing with social situations were said with concern and were earnest, they were terrible if not outright dangerous. Never suggest non-alcholic drinks to someone struggling with addication (and you are an addict- you have to admit that). First many have trace elements of alcohol which is enough to set off the addiction; the second is that all of the associations from drinking will come flying back the second that liquid hits your tounge. Non-alcholic drinks are for drivers, not people who are struggling. A second point is understanding a concept called "faces and places"- you need to seperate yourself from the places and people whose main purpose were for drinking. Stop going to the places you used to go- if your "friends" are pressuring you once you have truly established you aren't drinking, they are not your friends- they are your drinking-buddies. These things no longer have a place in your life- it is difficult and depressing and sucks, but it must be done- over time you'll find replacement, healthier and more rewarding people and activities.- your real friends aren't going anywhere. If you are in a situation that you can't get out of (work or wedding are the most common), just say you're not drinking tonight- you owe nobody an explination. If you feel you HAVE to explain and don't feel like getting into it (this can happen at work sometimes with people you barely know) I used to say the doctor told me to stop for health reasons (which is true from "a certain point of view"). Most polite people will not ask for details about health. Finally my friend, it does get MUCH easier- it just takes time. One day you'll wake up and it won't be as difficult as it was. Best of luck, there are places for help, and feel free to reach out if you want some support.