Welcome To Donghauser Unlimited (OFFICE PARTY First Look) (Patreon)

So, our sequel is called OFFICE PARTY. As you Einsteins could guess, that means we need an office. A workplace for all your shenanigans to go down. 

Enter Donghauser Unlimited — or DU, for short.

Founded by the legendary Patrick Donghauser, DU is an industry leader in… well, just about everything. Tech. Transportation. Adult video production. If there’s a market, DU’s got a well-lubed hand in it. And none of it would function without the brilliant, beautiful, and ethically emancipated employees who make the whole thing run.

Life at DU is mostly normal — if you ignore the weird shit. Employees clock in for the usual 9-to-5 grind, typing away and filling their reports. Sometimes there might be a dead fish that needs fished out of the koi pond. Annnnnnd the day may be occasionally interrupted by the mandatory gratitude ritual to Patrick Donghauser's statue, but hey — that’s corporate culture, baby.

Some hack journalists have called DU a cult. That’s just slander. Cults make you wear robes and shave your head. DU employees wear business casual and only shave their eyebrows if they’re the first to pass out at the Christmas party. Big difference.

Speaking of parties, they’re what DU does best. These aren’t your standard "cake in the break room" bullshit. DU parties are legendary, full-blown bacchanals where employees finally get to blow off steam after another hellish quarter of hitting quota. Once the doors lock, it’s an all-night eruption of drinks, dancing, and massively inappropriate HR violations. Remember, don’t pass out first. Or it's bye-bye eyebrows.

Of course, loyalty is the most important trait a DU employee can have. Loyalty to the company. Loyalty to Patrick. Loyalty to the work — though we don’t talk about the work. Ever. Especially not to outsiders. Not even to each other, really. Just… do your tasks and keep your mouth shut.

Do that, and there’s no telling how high you can climb this oh-so-unique corporate ladder.

We wanted our sequel’s setting to feel like a workplace you’ll never forget. Familiar, strange, soaked in comedy, and wrapped in mystery (and a Magnum condom for good measure). Over the next few months, we’ll be giving our Patrons exclusive behind-the-scenes access as we pull back the curtain and gear up for our first tech demo.

Thanks for clocking in. It's gonna be a wild shift.