Captain Fuck (Patreon)

Not everybody that calls themself a hero is really all that deserving of the title. Take, for instance, the lamentable lout that calls himself Captain #!$%! (censored courtesy of the Heroic Outreach Management Office). Granted the 'token superhero powerset' (strength, stamina, flight) by forces he cannot coherently recall, this self-proclaimed hero is rarely sober enough to actually preform any heroing duties, and is known to cause more trouble than he solves - though his drunken tantrums thus far have been easier to settle with another round of whatever cheap booze is on-hand rather than trying to restrain and incarcerate him for his inebriated rampages. He was previously known as 'Florida Man', until the state of Florida sued for defamation.