Bonus Episode - MeganBob's Bonerversary Bar Crawl (Patreon)

When MeganBob sat down with Kris Newton to record this bonus episode, they had no idea what was about to happen, and we want you to have the same experience. All you need to know is that it involves:

• Bob's greatest horny wish
• spoilers for basically everything on the Hard Choices feed to date, including bonus episodes
• such a wide variety of characters that you may need help remembering them all

To help out with the last bit, these show notes include descriptions for every character in the episode, AFTER the music credits that follow. There may be spoilers for previous episodes, so tread carefully!

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R
https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY
https://uppbeat.io/t/dread-pitt/you-wish
License code: USADC5LGH8OBRMOO

Character Descriptions:

1. Astinus, from Dragonlance (Hard Choices episode 21). A disinterested librarian whose mortal, peepums frame conceals the soul of a possibly-divine ultra-peepums.
2. Dracula as he appears in Netflix's Castlevania series, from the Vampires episode of Hard Choices (episode 6). In an episode that permitted Bob to bring their personal, sexiest Dracula from any medium, they selected -- wait for it -- a villainous, sad peepums whom only one true love could reach.
3. Captain Jean-Luc Picard, from 90's Star Trek (Hard Choices episode 2). The staid, silver space fox who captains the Enterprise-D. Known for his catchphrase, "Earl Gray, hot" (not to be confused with his alias for Regency-themed burlesque, "Earl Gray Hottt").
4. The Ninth Doctor from Doctor Who (Hard Choices episode 12). A wounded, prickly incarnation of The Doctor from immediately after the atrocities of the Time War, long before his profound trauma was retconned away in a cheesy crossover episode.
5. Robin Feld, reclusive chef protagonist of the film Pig, who appeared in Hard Choices episode 15 among other Nicolas Cage characters. A grimy trufflemonger whose hermit filth conceals a sensitive artist traumatized by losing his wife.
6. Macavity, from Cats (Hard Choices episode 8). A feline master criminal who has canonically broken "every human law" by the time of the musical's events. The "Cats Babies" cartoon is surprisingly dark.
7. Hamburglar, from the Mascots episode of Hard Choices episode (episode 17). A McDonald's mascot whose craving for hamburgers has driven him to a life of crime. Or maybe he just gets off on it? Look at the outfit. That's not what burglars wear, that's what freaks wear.
8. Poison Ivy, from Batman Villains (Hard Choices episode 19). A DC supervillain and femme fatale whose success as an eco-terrorist proves that it is green being easy.
9. Thanatos, the god of death from Hades (Hard Choices episode 20). Definitely a deity, definitely embodies death, but MeganBob focuses on the "intense nerd" aspect of the character.
10. Judge Claude Frollo, the hypocritical, sadistic, "Christian" antagonist of The Hunchback of Notre Dame from the Disney Villains episode of Hard Choices (episode 10). Pros: Top 5 Disney Villain song. Cons: Genocidal sex criminal.
11. Cosmo Brown from Singin' in the Rain, a comic relief sidekick from the Musical episode of Hard Choices (episode 13). A charming goofball who won the Musicals episode against a line-up of surprisingly reprehensible rivals from the annals of the musical genre.
12. Thor, from the MCU (Hard Choices episode 3). Avenger, hero, Norse god of thunder and uncomfortable fanfic pairings.
13. Raiden, from Mortal Kombat (Hard Choices episode 9). A storm god cursed to inhabit the world of Mortal Kombat, where even the gods must resolve all their conflicts through cartoonishly gruesome matches in cosmic UFC.
14. Gimli, from The Lord of the Rings (Hard Choices episode 1). A gruff, bearded, axe-wielding dwarf from the blessed days before the Hobbit movies, when "dwarf" was the only personality a dwarf needed.
15. Sandor Clegane, aka The Hound, from Game of Thrones (Hard Choices episode 4). A scarred, hard-living cynic renowned for his prowess in battle. Spoilers: He dies horribly.
16. Ardeth Bay from The Mummy Trilogy (Hard Choices episode 11). A roaming warrior descended from the bodyguards of the pharaohs, Ardeth remains ever watchful for mummy trouble. Noted for his sexy hair, horse, beard, and pet falcon, which are the sorts of things you have time to maintain when you do on-call mummy-fighting for a living.
17. Ultros, from Final Fantasy VI (Hard Choices episode 14). An octopus-like monster with scary teeth who shows up again and again as a comedy villain in the game, most famously to crash a perfectly nice kidnapping at the opera house.
18. Urdnot Wrex from Mass Effect (Hard Choices episode 5). A surly shark-man mercenary from a species near extinction. More fun to hang out with than he sounds.
19. Rowlf, from The Muppets (Hard Choices episode 16). A floppy, fuzzy dog Muppet who plays piano and is just a cool guy, a rarity among the -- let's be honest -- anxiety-riddled, pushy, selfish, desperate, freakish ensemble of the somehow kid-friendly Muppets franchise.
20. Martian Manhunter from The Justice League of America (Hard Choices episode 7). A very old, very alien shapeshifter whose superhero persona conceals the most monstrous of monsterfucks. Loves Oreos, hates being burned by fire, otherwise a little unrelatable.
21. Jekyll & Hyde from the Movie Monsters episode of Hard Choices (episode 18). The famous nebbish-scientist-turned-monster whose story inspired countless adaptations and knock-offs, including The Incredible Hulk and Fox News's version of Dr. Fauci.